Oblivion
by oliviahotchner
Summary: After a tragic accident, Hotch loses his memory, forgetting the last six years of his life. How he will handle this situation? And how it will affect his marriage to Emily, since he does not remember anything? COMPLETE.
1. Prologue

**A/N: I was reading this amaziiing story from** ** _kbrewster_** **called 'Collide' and my mind started to work about the possibilities from this universe. So I asked her permition (of course) and started a new story. I dedicated to her, for giving me the inspiration to write this. Thank you so much. I hope you guys like it. And don't worry, I don't intent to abandon my other story. Here is the Prologue!**

Prologue

 _Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

He slowly regained consciousness, hearing the annoying sound of the machine. He felt a sharp pain on his head and something impeding his breathing. He opened his eyes and flinched at the brightness of the light on the room. He felt someone hovering him and a grip on his hand. He tried to remember how he had arrived there, what had happened but he couldn't think clearly. He could hear someone calling his name softly, a familiar voice.

"Aaron?" He tried to focus on the shadow in front of him but the light was too bright. He shut his eyes tight and opened again, seeing that someone had closed the blinds. "Aaron, honey, are you awake?" Honey? Who was calling him honey? He turned to the shadow again and managed to distinguish Prentiss's form beside him. What she was calling him honey? Why she was calling him Aaron?

He tried to speak but again found something on his mouth impending his breathing. He started to fuss about it until another voice talked to him. "Mr. Hotchner, calm down. We had to put a tube on your throat to help your breathing but I'm going to take it off okay?" He nodded and the doctor started to pull out the tub. "Okay, when I take it all off I want you to cough". He did and Hotch started to cough, feeling a sharp pain on his throat. "How are you feeling?" The doctor asked. He opened his mouth to answer but no sound came. Suddenly there was a straw on his mouth and he top a sip of water looking at Prentiss's lovingly eyes directed to him. "Let's try again. How are you feeling, Mr. Hotchner?"

"I'm fine…" He managed to answer with a scratch voice. "What happened?"

"You were involved on a shooting and a bullet hit your chest. You fell hard on the floor and hit your head. You had a slight brain swelling and we put you on a coma to treat it. Are you in pain?"

"Not so much. How long am I here? Where is Jack?" He asked looking at Prentiss.

"He's at Anna's. I'll bring him later".

He frowned. Anna? "Anna? As in my mother?"

"Of course, babe. I've never been so thankful that she had moved here." She said with a chuckle.

"When did she move here? And why are you calling me babe and honey, Prentiss?" He asked getting a little impatient. What the hell was happening?

Her face fell at his question and she looked at the doctor with confused eyes. "Prentiss?"

The doctor seemed to realize what was happening and intervened. "Mr. Hotchner, what is the last thing you remember?"

His brow furrowed and he took a few seconds to answer. "We were coming back from a case on Texas. There were decapitated heads and the sheriff was murdered".

Emily looked confused for a few seconds before realization came. "But… but…" She whispered, tears pricking on her eyes.

"Mrs. Hotchner, can I talk to you outside?" What?! He saw Prentiss nod and leave the room with the doctor. What the hell was happening? Why the doctor called Prentiss as Mrs. Hotchner? He stayed there, waiting for someone to return to explain to him, trying to understand what was going on.

A few minutes later, Prentiss came back with red eyes, sniffing and sat beside him again. "Can you explain to me what is happening here?" He watched her open and close her mouth, unable to speak anything. Starting to get frustrated he snapped. "Drop it Prentiss! Why the doctor was calling you Mrs. Hotchner?"

"Because I am. I am Mrs. Emily Hotchner. We're married, Aaron."

He looked at her dumbfounded for several seconds. Married? What the fu…? "What? Are you crazy?"

He saw a single tear run down her cheek. "No. We're married for two years. Together for almost four. That case you were talking about happened six years ago, Aaron." She saw his eyes widening. "The doctor said that due to your swelling you must be suffering from temporary amnesia. They'll run some tests later but he said it's probably just the trauma, it's only temporary".

"Wait… wait a minute. You're saying that we are married?"

"Yes…"

The thoughts were running through his head and he closed his eyes to try to regain some composure. He had married Prentiss. Six years. Six whole years. What he would do? He opened his eyes and saw Prentiss looking expectantly to him. "Can you give me a moment? I think I need to be alone right now". He saw her face contorted in pain and she gave him a slight nod.

"Sure… I'll just… I'll come back later, with Jack okay? He really wants to see you".

"Yeah, fine." He said dismissively and watched her go, tears running down her face and a single sob escaping right before she left the door. He closed his eyes and tried to absorb everything. He didn't remember six years from his life. And apparently those years had been very eventful because he was married to his subordinate. What the hell he supposed to do?

 **A/N: Should I continue? Let a review. The speed of the updates will be based on your response, okay?**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi! I would update this just next week but you guys were so good with your reviews that I decided to give you a bonnus chapter! Keep sending the reviews to keep me motivaded! The new chapter on TTCL will be posted by tomorrow. I'm working hard on it!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own CM.**

Chapter 1

Emily paced at the hall of the hospital trying to collect her thoughts. _He doesn't remember anything. He doesn't remember our life together._ He eyes started to water when she thought of the way he talked to her. Prentiss. Not even Emily, but Prentiss. God. What would happen from now? She remembered the doctor saying that it was only temporary, but for how long? How she supposed to act in front of him? How do you act in front of your husband when he doesn't remember he's married with you? When he doesn't remember he loves you?

She thought about their story, trying to recollect how they evolved to something more than friends. She thought about the years he had forgotten. By her math he was some place right after Haley's death. Christ, she couldn't even begin to understand how his head must be confused. For him, his ex-wife has just been murdered and he was a single father of a four-year-old. _Shit._ Jack was ten-years-old right now! How the hell he was going to react when he'd seen his little boy? And how she supposed to explain this to Jack?

She sat down at a chair in one of the waiting rooms and let the tears fall. She thought about all their moments together, how they got closer after Haley's death, how she went to his place at least twice a week and they would talk for hours. She got really close to Jack and started to join them at playdates and movie nights often. And then, when the whole Doyle fiasco, he did everything on his power to protect her and keep her safe, risking his own career, going against the Bureau and lying to the whole team to keep her secret.

And when she came back, he stood by her side, taking all the blame for her and putting himself between her and the Bureau and her and the team, to protect her from anything and anyone. And finally, _finally,_ at that same night he took her to his office and once the door was closed he involved her in his arms and kissed her, so passionately and lovingly that she actually cried, trying to believe that he was really showing her that her feelings were reciprocated.

Since then they were together, every single day, building their lives together with Jack, as a family, first just dating, then living together, then engaged and finally married, as her own fairy tale coming true. And now everything was turned upside down.

 _God._ She closed her eyes and sighed, before getting up and going towards the exit. She got into her car and left to her mother-in-law's place, to get her son. Suddenly a thought came into her head. What if Aaron's memory doesn't come back? She wouldn't just loose her husband, but also her son. She forced herself to stay calm because she had to stay strong for them. He would need her, more than ever. She just hoped he would let her help.

Parking in front of the house she stayed at the car for a few minutes, controlling her breathing and her tears. She got off the car and went to the front door just in time it swung it open to reveal a ten-years-old boy with a big grin on his face. "Mom!" He launched himself on her arms and she held him tight, trying to get some of the strength she knew she would need.

"Hi honey. Did you were good for grandma?"

"Of course he was, darling". She looked up to Anna, watching them from the living room. "How is my son?"

She winced inwardly before taking a deep breath to answer. "He's good, awake. He's very eager to see his young boy!" She said, looking at Jack. "How about you go get ready for us to go see your father?"

"Right!" He raced upstairs to get ready, excitedly.

Anna looked at her knowingly and asked. "Okay, what's wrong?"

Emily looked at her mother-in-law and couldn't prevent the tears forming. "He doesn't remember". She said with a sob. At Anna's frown she continued. "He doesn't remember the last six years. He doesn't remember marring me or anything!"

"Oh sweetheart!" Anna pulled Emily into her arms and held her while she sobbed on her shoulder.

"He called me Prentiss, Anna. Prentiss! He was so cold and… and… What am I going to do? He doesn't remember anything! He doesn't love me!" She said, the last part as a pain whisper. Anna closed her eyes and soothed her for a few minutes.

"I'm so sorry Em. What the doctors said?"

"They said it's just temporary, that he will remember things with time. But what if he doesn't? What if he doesn't remember our life together anymore?"

"You can't think like this, sweetie. He will get better, and you have to stay by his side every step of the way".

Jack came running to them, dressed in jeans and a shirt. "I'm ready. Let's go see daddy!"

"Let me just get my purse, baby". Anna said going upstairs. Emily knew she had to warn Jack about Aaron's condition so she took him to the couch.

"C'me here baby, I need to talk to you" They sat down and she looked to him. "Look, I need to explain something to you. You remember I said that your daddy hit his head really hard?" The boy nodded and she continued. "Well, because of this, when he woke up he was a little confused. He doesn't remember some things".

"Like what made him go to the hospital?"

"No baby, it's a little more than that. He doesn't remember some stuff about our life together, like when I started to live with you guys, how we got married, you know. So, when you say some things to him he maybe be a little confused and don't understand".

"But he won't remember anymore?" The boy's eyes widened.

"No baby, he will. But it might take a while".

"Okay, we'll help him to remember. It'll be like when he told me stories before sleep, right?" He asked with a smile.

"Right, buddy". She saw Anna coming down stairs. "Let's go, let's see daddy".

"Yeah! Let's see daddy!"

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Hotch was lying awake, still trying to understand some things when the door opened and a much older version of his little boy run into the room.

"Daddy!" He looked at him with wide eyes while the boy raced to his side and gave him a one side hug.

"Jack?" He asked looking at the door to see his mother and Prentiss watching them.

"I missed you, dad!" He said on his shoulder.

"Me too, buddy. You're so big." He said in awe, looking at the young boy. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm staying with grandma while mom is here with you. She's really cool! We made cookies last week and yesterday we watched movies the whole night!" His brain stopped to process anything when his son said 'mom'. He really called Prentiss as mom? Oh God, what was happening? He forced a smile at his boy.

"That's good, buddy." He looked at both women again. "Hi mom. Prent-Emily". He winced visibly at his slip and saw her flinch and his mother put a supportive hand on her shoulder and squeeze it.

"Hi honey. I'm so glad you're awake". Anna said approaching to give him a kiss on his forehead.

Emily looked at the scene in front of her and felt a sharp pain on her chest. Clearing her throat awkwardly she said. "I.. I think I'm going to look for the doctor to ask some questions, I'll come back later".

"But mom, why do you have to go?"

She winced at the look on Hotch's face when Jack called her mom. "It's just for a little bit, honey. I'll be right back. Be good for daddy and grandma, okay?"

"You want me to go with you, darling?"

"No Anna, that's not necessary. Look at Jack, don't let him touch Aaron's IV".

"Okay. Don't take too long." She nodded and left the room, leaning against the door, tears falling on her face. _I just want my husband back._

 **A/N: See that button over there? Pleeeease, give it a click! Maybe, if your reviews were really good, it won't take so long for me to update this :)**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys. Thank you all so much for the reviews! I'm very happy that you're so enthusiastic with this fic. Here is the second chapter. Please, I'd love a lot of reviews, if you like it or not. They really help me. If we get to the 20th review until next thursday I'll post an oneshot that I'm working on. So... It's up to you! I hope you'll enjoy it.**

Chapter 2

After almost two hours Emily came back to the room. Jack was sitting at the edge of his father's bed and Anna was sitting at the chair beside it. They all looked at her and Jack grinned, racing towards her. "Mom! You were gone for _ages_!"

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I went home to get some stuff."

"I was just telling dad about our vacation that you promised!"

She looked quickly at Hotch then back to Jack. "You did?"

"Yeah, I said that you promised me that when dad woke up and went back home we would make a trip together, just us three!"

"Yeah, he said we were going to Disney." Hotch said, still a little uncomfortable.

"Well mister, I didn't say anything about Disney. You're putting words on my mouth, you smart boy!" She said, tickling him, making the boy burst into giggles.

"Stop, mom, stop!" He said between breaths.

"Okay honey, I guess we better get going. Your dad has to rest so he can get better soon and go back home". Anna said

The boy pouted but obeyed his grandmother, giving his dad a kiss to go. "Anna, he has a history test tomorrow so make sure he studies tonight before go to sleep. No TV, you hear me, Jack?" Emily said with a stern voice.

"Yes mom."

"Good boy. Give me a kiss honey". He went to her and hugged and kissed her. "I put a new bag with clothes on the truck for him. I guess I didn't forget anything".

"Okay, darling. Don't worry; just take care of my boy".

"You know I will". Emily said, giving her a hug.

"Be strong okay sweetie. I know it's not easy but everything will be fine". Anna whispered on her ear. She blinked back a few tears and whispered her okay. They left the room and Emily glanced sheepishly at Hotch, not quite knowing how to act.

"Are you feeling okay?" She asked, sitting on the chair.

"Yeah. No pain or anything".

"Good"

"You're going to spend the night here?"

"Yes"

"You really don't ha…"

"I'm not going anywhere Aaron". She said firmly, cutting him. "You may not remember but I'm your wife, and I'm not going home without you".

He looked at her astonish for a few seconds before whispering. "Okay. So… Jack calls you mom now?"

She looked down and sighed. "I am his mother Aaron. I adopted him".

"Adopted?" _What?_ God, this was just more and more serious.

"Yes. Just a few months after we got married. But he called me that before".

"Oh".

"Yeah".

They stood on an awkward silence for several minutes, both not knowing how to react or what to say. At every second passed she felt more and more pain, wishing he would take her hand and ask her to lay down with him and then kiss her, saying that everything was going to be fine, like always did. She didn't realize she was crying again until she saw a tear drop on her lap. She quickly whipped her face but Hotch saw it.

"Emily". She looked up to see him staring at her. "I'm sorry for this, I know it's not easy for you but I hope you'll understand that it's really weird for me. I'd never thought that we would get married, _ever._ " He saw her flinch and knew that he had said the wrong thing. "I'm sorry".

She shook her head and tried to smile. "No, that's okay. I know you're confused. I just never thought that I would have to convince you one day that we're together and that…" Her voice trailed off.

"And what?"

"And that you love me". She said with a whisper. The awkward silence was back until Emily cleared her throat and stood up, picking up the go bag she had brought with her. "I brought you a pair of sweatpants, a couple of shirts and some boxers. I thought you would be more comfortable than with this hospital gown".

"Yeah, that would be great, thank you".

"No problem". She said, taking the items from the bag and placing on the bed. She looked at him and said. "I'd usually help you with the clothes but I understand if you don't want to, at least the boxers and pants. But I'll help you with the shirt. You can't lift your arm properly".

"Okay, thanks."

"I'll change my clothes on the bathroom while you put these". She said leaving. He took a few minutes to manage to put the clothes on and was just finishing the pants when she came out of the bathroom. He looked at her and swallowed hard at the sight of her in his loose FBI shirt and one of his boxers. She looked down and blushed a little. "I'm sorry, it's just that I don't have pajamas on my own except for a few nightgowns, but they are really not appropriate for this".

He looked confused a little until realization came. "Oh. Got it"

"Yeah. Let me help you." She said taking the shirt and helping him to put it on. She stood between his legs with a hand on his tight and the other pressed on his heart. She swallowed and looked at him with watery eyes. "Do you think I can… can I give you a hug?" She actually wanted to kiss him senseless but knew that it would be too much, but she really needed a little contact with him.

He looked into her big eyes and couldn't bring himself to deny her request. "Sure". And just like that she was in his arms, her head buried on the crock of his neck, inhaling his calming scent. Without being able to control herself she started to sob uncontrollably on his neck, her whole body shaking, soaking his shirt with her tears. He brought his hand on her hair and stroked lightly, shushing her quietly.

"I'm so glad that you're okay. For a moment I thought you were going to…" She couldn't finish it, the sobs too strong.

"It's okay, I'm okay." He said trying to calm her. It took several minutes for her sobs to subside, but she stayed clutching at him, scared to let him go. When she finally pulled away she looked at him with puffy eyes and sniffled.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break like this".

"It's okay. How long I stayed unconscious?" He said with her still very close to him, her hands on his knees.

"Thirteen days". She said. "You guys were on a case here in DC. You had gone to interview a witness and it turns out that it was the unsub. You manage to call for backup and then you two fought and he managed to shot you on the chest. You shot him on the head before falling on the floor and hitting your head. The team found you unconscious. You were bleeding out…" She closed her eyes and tightened her grip on his knees. "I'll never forget Dave's voice through the phone, telling me you were on surgery". She said with a whisper.

"You were not on the case with us?" He asked after a while.

"I don't work on the BAU anymore".

"What? How come?"

"When Strauss found out about us it wasn't pretty. She tried to fire us. We talked and you offered to take the retirement offer she gave you after Haley's death. But I knew how much this job meant to you and I could never make you leave it. And after everything that had happened I just didn't feel that it was right for me anymore. I knew that I need to leave before I'd break for real, so I left."

"Wow" He tried to process the facts but it was just too much. How many things had happened in six years! "And where do you work now?"

"I teach on the Academy."

"Huh." He thought for a few moments. "What do you mean with everything that had happened it didn't feel right anymore? What happened?"

She thought about the whole Doyle story and knew it was too much for today. "It's a really long story and I think you have too much information for today. I promise I'll tell you tomorrow okay? But right now you need to rest." He nodded, knowing that she was right. He laid down on the bed and saw her sitting on the chair beside him and pulling up her legs to her chest.

"You're sleeping there every night for thirteen days?"

She sighed. "No, I'm sleeping on that mat over there". She said, pointing to the corner of the room. "But I'm not sleepy yet so I'll sit here for a while".

He nodded and closed his eyes. She looked at him for several moments until she saw her breath even out, letting her know that he was asleep. She approached him and took his hand, stroking softly with her thumb. She felt a few more tears pricking on her eyes and swallowed. "I love you so much." She whispered to him. "Please, come back to me, honey".

Unbeknown to her, Hotch was still awake and heard her. He sighed inwardly. How much his life had changed in just one day!? How much more it would change on the following weeks? He felt her placing a soft kiss on his palm. He prayed to God that he would be able to deal with those changes without hurting anyone, especially the woman beside him. He prayed even more to recover his memory, because he didn't know how much more changes he would manage to accept.

 **A/N: Let a review!**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm sorry for the delay. I don't have much to say, just that I pretend to post on TTCL until the end of the day.**

Chapter 3

The next morning Hotch woke up to find himself alone. He sat at the bed and heard the shower of the bathroom running. Brushing his hand through his head he sighed. He thought about their talk the night before and tried to analyze how his life would be from now on. He had a ten-year-old son, who he didn't remember more than half of his life. He had lost six years of his job, of new experiences that surely made him a better profiler. He had a new wife, one he always saw just as a subordinate and a friend, and didn't remember of anything about their story. He closed his eyes, defeated. He had a whole life to get used to it and didn't have any clue of how to begin.

The bathroom's door opening pulled him out of his thoughts. "Hey". Emily said to him, drying her hair with a towel. She had taken off his clothes and was wearing a dark pair of jeans with a light blue shirt. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I did. You?"

"Did too. The doctor passed by earlier. He said you'll be able to leave tomorrow morning". She said with a smile.

"Thank God. I really miss my apartment".

 _Uh oh._ "Err… about that" He raised his eyebrow at her. "You don't have your old apartment anymore. We bought a house together and sold our apartments".

"Oh. Right." She sat at the chair and they stood at an awkward silence, _again._ "So, do you think you can continue to update me for the past six years?"

"Sure. What do you wanna know?" She asked, thanking him for starting a new subject.

"Err… I don't know. How is the team?"

She smiled slightly, thinking of her old teammates. "They're great. Oh, JJ has another son!"

"Really?" He actually smiled at the news.

"Uh huh. Another baby boy. Michel. He's so beautiful!"

"That's great. What about the others?"

"Uhh, let me see. Derek is dating, and it's serious. Her name is Savanah. She's a good woman, very beautiful. Pen isn't with Kevin anymore, for a long time. She was dating some guy named Sam, but it didn't work out. Dave is still Dave. Just…" She stopped, remembering of his drama a few years ago. "His first wife, Carolyn, passed away a few years ago… It was pretty tough. She died in his arms".

"God… I can't even imagine. He really loved Carolyn. They were just too young and immature, I think". Hotch said with a small voice, trying to imagine how hard it must have been to his friend. He knew very well how it was to lose someone so important, someone you loved deeply. "What about Reid?"

"He's okay too. He passed a real bad time not long ago, though. There was this girl that he met, but just for phone. It turns out that she had a stalker and she managed to kidnap her. You guys couldn't save her. He lost her the same day he first saw her".

"Jesus. So many things happened". He said in awe. They were in silence until her phone started to ring.

"I'm sorry, it's from work. I have to get this". She said standing up. "Hotchner". Geez, it was really weird to hear her answering her phone like this. He heard her talking with someone but didn't pay attention. He was still trying to absorb the amount of information she gave him. When she was hanging up the phone a nurse got into the room to check Hotch's vitals. He was measuring his blood pressure when Emily took her place beside Hotch again. "Is everything okay?"

The nurse looked at her with a smile and said. "Yes, it's just procedure. Everything seems to be fine Mr. Hotchner. I'll just give you some antibiotics because you have a slight infection on your surgery."

"But everything is okay? The doctor said he would be released tomorrow".

"Yes, Mrs. Hotchner. May I call you Emily?" He asked with a slight flirtatious smile. _He's really flirting with my wife right under my nose?_

Emily huffed and answered with an annoying voice. "Mrs. Hotchner is fine. Will my husband be released tomorrow?"

The nurse gave her a nod. "Yes, if the doctor said, than he'll be. It's just a slight infection, it's normal because of the surgery". She said her thanks and the nurse left the room. She sat heavily on the chair, buffing.

"Well, he certainly has some nerve". Hotch said.

"Tell me about it. Yesterday I was this close to punch him. No matter how many times I shoved my rings on his face, he just didn't get the message".

"Yeah. Flirt with a married woman in front of her husband shows how shameless he is". Hotch huffed. Emily looked at him with loving eyes.

"Are you jealous?" She asked with a mocking tone, forgetting for a second his new condition.

"Of course I'm not, why would I be?" He answered automatically. When he looked at her and saw the hurt she was trying very hard to hide he sighed. "I'm sorry".

"It's okay. I get it." She said with a smile but her eyes betrayed her, showing how much it really affected her. Before he could answer anything the door opened to reveal his teammates with grins on their faces. "Hey guys!" Emily said, standing up to greet them.

"Well my dear Mrs. H, it would be real good if you had called us to let us know that our fearless leader was awake!" Garcia said with a fake stern tone.

Emily winced realizing that she had completely forgotten to call her friends. "I'm sorry Pen. I completely forgot".

"Let Princess alone baby girl, she was probably enjoying the company of her awake husband". Morgan said with a raised eyebrow. _Oh, how I wish!_ Emily thought.

"It's really good to see you awake, Hotch. You got us really worried." Tara said with a smile.

Hotch looked at the dark woman with confused eyes. _Who the hell is this?_ He looked at Emily who had saw the panicked look on his face and sighed. _Well, here we go._ "This is Dr. Tara Lewis, Aaron. She is the newest member of the team". Everyone looked confused, wondering why she was introducing Tara to him, once she was working for almost a year with them. She took a deep breath before answer the question that was on everyone's head. "Aaron woke up with some memory issues." _That's an understatement._ "He doesn't remember the last six years".

The room stood in silence absorbing her words. Morgan and Reid had their jaws dropped, Garcia gasped, JJ looked really sad and Dave seemed to be thinking of something. "Wait. Six years? You mean he doesn't…" She shook her head quickly knowing very well what he was asking. He gave her a sad smile and put a comfort hand on her shoulder. She tried to smile at him but the tears on her eyes betrayed her.

"Well, I really want to drink some coffee. Let's go to the cafeteria, girls? We let our dear G-men talking." Garcia said with a more forced smile. Emily appreciated her attempt to have some time alone.

"Sure. I'll be right back". Reid and Morgan gave her hugs, whispering their sorry before the girls leave. Closing the door behind her Emily finally let the tears fall once more and sobbed on JJ's shoulder, trying to gain some comfort or hope that things would get better. They walked towards the cafeteria and she sighed. Looking at her friends she thanked God for the straight she knew she'll always get from them. She could only hope that it would be enough.

 **A/N: Next chapter won't take too long, I promise. I'll start to put some flashback to show how they ended up together because I just love it! Are you guys reading this? Should I continue? Your lack of reviews are making me sad and when I'm sad I don't write. :(**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Wow guys! You really surprised me with the reviews and made me so happy! And when I'm happy I write faster, so here is another chapter! See how good it is? :) I'd just like to clarify one thing. On the first chapter Emily said to Hotch that they were together for almost FOUR years. Actually they're together for almost FIVE years, since they started at the begining of the Season 7 and the story is following the current season. And they got married at the end of Season 8, so they're married for almost THREE years, and not two as she said. Hope you'll like this chapter, I inserted the first flashback, their first kiss *-***

Chapter 4

The girls sat at a table on the cafeteria of the hospital after getting their coffees. Emily's eyes were very red and puffy from her crying and she was still sniffling. "How are you dealing with this my little Gumdrop?"

"It's so… hard. I mean, it's like I'm talking with someone totally different, or better, the Hotch of six years ago." She said. "You guys should have seen his face when I told him everything. He looked at me like I was insane. And then he said that he'd never, ever thought that one day we would be married. You have any idea how much this hurt?" She asked, tears rolling down her cheeks again. "In other words he said he never thought he would fall in love with me, ever".

"Oh Em. But you know he does love you, so very much. He would do anything for you. You and Jack are his life!" JJ said, trying to convince her.

"Well, then tell him that! Because all I see is the love of my life calling me Prentiss, looking at me as if I was crazy, afraid to touch me and doesn't want to go home with me!" She snapped. After a few seconds of silence she sighed. "I'm sorry. I know you guys are trying to help but… what if his memory never comes back? What if he decides that he doesn't want to be with me? What if he asks for a divorce?" She said the last few words in a whisper.

"But he won't Emily. Even if his memories never come back, he will learn to love you, just like he did the before. Your love wasn't at first sight. You guys built it together. And you'll do it again". JJ said.

"It was just so good to be true you know, a man like Aaron loving me". Emily said, as if she hadn't listened JJ. "I never got the good ones. Just the pigs. And he was always so loving and caring and thoughtful. It always was too good to be mine. I really never thought that he could actually love me. And he said that to me, that he never thought too. So maybe it was just… I don't know. Maybe it wasn't meant to be".

"Gumdrop, you're talking as if you had already lost him! He's still your husband. He's just confused. And he will remember soon. And if he doesn't you fight harder to keep him, because you two were meant to be!" Garcia said with an exasperate tone.

"That's true Emily. You're talking like you had given up. Defeated. You can't act like this. He doesn't know but he needs you and he'll always need you" Tara said.

"And what about Jack? You have to think about him too. If you give up where does he stands? He'll lose another mother? You have to fight for your family Em. You two are together for more than four years! You can't give up like that because of one day!" JJ finished.

Emily stood in silence listening to the voices of her friends and trying very hard to believe it. She remembered all the good moments they passed together, all the declarations of love and all the devotion he always demonstrated to her. She closed her eyes and smiled, thinking about their first kiss…

 _They had just heard the decision about their suspension and Emily's return. The whole team was gathered at the conference room and they were smiling, telling stories, catching up about the seven months that Emily was gone. Morgan and Reid were still a little reserved, maybe trying to convince themselves that she was really there, alive._

 _Rossi had acted like he already knew about everything, which probably he did. Garcia was delighted with her best friend's return and didn't leave her side any minute, as if she was afraid that she would evaporate. JJ was relieved that the secret was finally out and even thought she knew that the team was hurt by their lies, especially Reid, she also knew that they would solve everything together as a family._

 _Hotch was at the corner of the room, arms crossed on his chest, a slight smile dancing on his usually serious face, looking at his team together. He looked at the brunette engulfed by Garcia's arms and felt his heart beat faster. He couldn't believe that she was finally here, back to the team and back to him. He hadn't thought that he would miss her so much but the seven months she had been gone had been hell to him. Especially because Jack wouldn't stop asking about his Emmy. He hadn't realized how much he started to rely on her for everything after Haley's death. They become really close friends and with her "death" he realized what was right in front of him the whole time. He had fallen in love with her._

 _Garcia suddenly squealed when JJ suggested they all went out for drinks. "Yeah! Let's celebrate my pretty gorgeous Buttercup's return!"_

 _Everyone smiled at the tech's delight and gathered their stuff to go. Taking another look at the smile of the brunette, Hotch decided that he couldn't wait for another minute. Clearing his throat, he caught her attention. "I would like to speak with Emily for a minute before we go, please"._

 _Garcia huffed at him. "C'mon bossman! We can deal with paperwork tomorrow!"_

 _"_ _It's not paperwork Garcia". He answered smiling. "Shaw we?" He asked Emily nodding towards his office. She smiled at him and nodded, following him. He opened the door for her and she got in. When she heard the door close behind her she turned to him with a smile._

 _"_ _I really missed y…" She was unable to finish her sentence because his lips were pressed on hers. She let out a gasp and he used it to swing his tongue inside her mouth and stroke her own. She linked her arms around his neck and kissed him back with as much passion as him. She had missed him every single day that she was gone. While he had just realized his love for her recently, she had been in love with him for a much longer time. Ever since she heard that he had been almost killed at the explosion in New York all those years ago she had known that her feelings for him were much deeper that friendship. And now that he was here, showing her that he felt the same way she had never felt so happy in her life._

 _Eventually air became a necessity and they pulled apart, just for him to start tracing light kisses on her neck and collarbone. "God, I've missed you much!" He said between kisses. She smiled widely and tilted her head to the side to give him more access, moaning loudly at his assault._

 _"_ _I missed you too. I'm so sorry for everything…" She said feeling tears pooling on her eyes. He turned up to look into her eyes, with her still pressed on his arms._

 _"_ _No, you don't have to apologize. I understand everything you did and I'm so proud of you sweetheart. I just missed you so much, every second of every day". He said leaning in to give her another kiss._

 _She smiled at the use of the endearment. "Say that again"._

 _He looked confused but then realized what she was asking. Smiling widely he pressed kisses on her cheeks, forehead, nose, eyes and finally on her lips, whispering. "Sweetheart. My sweetheart. I'm so glad you're back home"._

 _"_ _I'm so glad I'm back too". She said smiling._

 _Looking at her he knew that she was what he needed to be happy again, to feel alive again. She was the last hope for him, his everything. Looking deep into her eyes, feeling the moisture on his owns, he said the three words he never thought he would say to another woman again. "I love you"._

 _She gasped, still surprised at the sound of those words leaving his mouth. Grinning, she pressed herself against him and pushed his head down to kiss him passionately. Pulling apart she looked at him with watery eyes and said. "I love you too, so much"._

 _He smiled and pulled her on a tight hug. After a few seconds he said. "We better go or Garcia will be bursting through that door any minute". She giggled and nodded, giving him another kiss. They pulled apart and opened the door, just to find five smiling faces at the other side._

 _"_ _I knew it!" JJ said, followed by Garcia's squeal. Emily buried her face into his chest and he chuckled._

 _"_ _Yeah, yeah, right. Let's not talk about this here, Strauss can come any minute and we already had too much lucky today". He said, hurrying the team to the elevators._

 _"_ _Yeah, I bet you'll be the one getting lucky tonight". Morgan said and everyone cracked. Just as the elevator arrived Emily whispered just to him, making him blush._

 _"_ _Oh, he'll get very lucky tonight"._

"Where did you go Sugarplum?"

"I was remembering our first kiss. Right after I came back" She said smiling. "He didn't even let me talk. He just pulled me into his arms and kissed me. It was so good. I thought I was dreaming…" She said with tears in her eyes. "And then he called me sweetheart, his sweetheart. He always used these endearments, sweetheart, honey, and babe. I never thought that Aaron Hotchner would be so into pet names". She laughed and the others laughed with her. "He always made me feel so good, so loved. When he held me or kissed me or looked at me… when he made love to me". The girls stood in silence, smiling at her speech. "I've never felt this way with anyone in my life. He made me feel safe, wanted, he made me feel like a woman or even better, like the only woman in the world. He's like my Prince Charming, you know, coming straight from the fairy tales. He even has the dimples…" She let out a sob. "I just want my Aaron back".

They stood there for several minutes until Emily calm down again. "Just have faith Em. He'll come back to you and you'll continue to live your lives together, as it's supposed to be".

Emily smiled slightly at her friends and they made their way back to Hotch's room. _I just hope you're right JJ._

 **A/N: Did you see how fast this chapter came? Do you want this always? Then you know what to do. Let a review! I need to know what you're thinking!**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey you! Thank you so much for all the reviews! I really appreciate all the suport and feedback to this fic, and as I already told you, hearing what you guys are thinking makes my fingers work faster! So, keep sending your thoughts! This chapter we have the boys talk. As you already know from my other fics, I really love the Dave/Hotch bond, so it'll be explored here too. Please let me know what you think and maybe,** ** _maybe_** **if your reviews were really good I can post the next chapter tomorrow.**

 **Oh, and another thing. Since you guys are making me really happy these past few days I'll post the oneshot I have today. Go take a look. I'll probably post it later.**

 **Disclaimer: Do NOT own CM.**

Chapter 5

Dave watched the girls leaving the room and turned to his friend. "So… How are you holding up?"

Hotch dropped his head back at the pillow and closed his eyes. Sighing he looked at his friends. "It's just… a lot to take in. The last thing I remember is Boyd shooting at us at that old farm. And now it's just a whole new world you know. I lost half of my son's life. He is so big. And I'm married to Prentiss. And she adopted Jack. The more I say this, more is hard to believe. I never thought, in a million years, that I would be on this place one day. It's just so confused".

Dave sighed. "I know Aaron. I can't even imagine how confused you must be right now. But what the doctor said?"

"I haven't spoken with him yet. Emily said he told her it'll probably be temporary, just a result from the trauma and the coma. But there is always a chance that I never got my memories back".

"Did he say when you'll be released?" Morgan asked.

"Tomorrow. And that's another thing. How am I supposed to go to a house I don't even know, to live a life I don't know nothing about it? Am I supposed to go there and play house with Prentiss?" He said in exasperation.

With a shake of his head Dave said. "Okay Aaron, I understand that you're confused but you have to be careful there. I'm pretty sure that Emily isn't forcing you into anything. Or am I wrong?"

"No, she's not. She's actually trying to not push me". Hotch said.

"Right. So you have to try to be a little more open up to her too. You don't remember but I know you for a very long time ago. I saw you with Haley and trust me when I say that what you feel for Emily and what you two have together is so much stronger than what you had with her" At Hotch's incredulous face Dave continued. "No, no, trust me Aaron. You are insanely crazy about her. After everything that you both have been through you two built a bond that it's very rare".

"He's right, man. You're whipped. It's kind of disgusting sometimes". Morgan said and Reid nodded too.

"I just don't see how…" Hotch said.

"C'mon Aaron, you're telling me that you never even thought about Emily? Not even about her beauty?" Dave asked.

Hotch stood in silence for a few seconds before nodded. "Yeah, of course I know she is pretty Dave, I'm not that blind. I know that she is funny and caring and so damn smart too. I just never thought that someday we would be actually together, that we would get married!"

"As I said, it was gradual Aaron. You two built it up. After Haley's death you two became closer and she really helped you get out of your grieve. She created a bond with Jack too and I guess that this helped a lot too".

"Yeah, she is great with him. He seems to adore her. He calls her mom".

"That's because she is. She helped you to raise Jack. She also gets along with Jessica very well and your mother treats her like a daughter. She even helped you to fix your relationship with Sean".

"Really?"

"Yeah, it was a couple of years ago, after a case that involved him in New York. She really helped you two to amend your differences and when you got married a few months later he was even your best man".

"Wow". Hotch said in awe. His relationship with his brother was so much bruised and to know that they were in a good place, enough for him be his best man, was really good.

"Exactly. You two grew fonder and fonder and I guess with everything that happened to her you realized how much she really meant to you and got the balls to make a move"

"What… what happened to her?" He asked confused. He saw the three men exchange a look and asked again. "What is it?"

"I guess that's up to Princess tell you Hotch. It's her business and I think you should hear from her". Morgan said and the others nodded.

"Anyway, all I'm asking you Aaron is to be a little more patient, to try to be a little more receptive to this whole thing. Especially with Emily. Because trust me on this, if you don't be careful with her, when you regain your memories you'll never forgive yourself if you had hurt her. Or even worse, lost her". Dave said seriously. The four of them stood in silence, Hotch contemplating what his friends had said to him. He knew that they wouldn't lie to him or overstate anything knowing how much all of this was affecting him. And knowing just how strong his relationship was with Emily, strong enough to be common sense to everyone, considering how closed person both were. He sighed, trying to figure it out what he would do tomorrow. He had two choices. Either he'd try to make things work for them, accepting their new status and learning to deal with or he would close himself off, risking hurt her and his son, since they were so close, and as Dave said, risking lose the woman he was so deeply in love.

The bedroom's door opened and took the men off their thoughts.

"Emily, you have to let someone take a look at your hand". JJ said when the girls were getting in.

"That's not necessary JJ. I'm fine, it's just a little sore". Emily said dismissively.

"But it's bleeding!" Garcia protested, making the four men frown. _Bleeding?_

"It's not my blood. I just need to wash it". She said going towards the little bathroom but stopped at Hotch's protest.

"Bleeding? What the hell happened? What's wrong with your hand?" He asked with a frown.

She looked at her teammates and then at her husband and sighed. "I told you I was this close to punch him".

He frowned a bit before understanding. "The nurse? What did he do now?"

"Nurse? What nurse?" Dave asked.

"There was this nurse that was hitting on Emily right in front of me yesterday".

"Whoa, and what did you do, man?" Morgan asked.

Emily snorted and murmured before getting into the bathroom. "Like he'd care…" The room stayed in silence for a few seconds, the awkwardness didn't missing to anyone. After a few minutes Hotch spoke.

"What did happen, JJ?"

The blond looked at him for a while before starting to relate their encounter with the nurse on the way back to the room.

 _They were leaving the cafeteria when a nurse bumped into Emily. She turned quickly to apologize before seeing who the man in question was._

 _"_ _Hello Emily. Everything's okay?" He asked with a malicious smile leaning closer to her._

 _Emily stiffed and backed away from him. She was really in no mood to deal with him right now. "Everything is fine; we're just getting back to my husband's room"._

 _"_ _Well, I've heard that he'll be released tomorrow. Too bad, I was hoping we could grab some coffee sometime"._

 _Emily snorted. "Really? Witch part of 'I am married' you still didn't get it? I'm not grabbing any coffee with you."_

 _"_ _C'mon, the guy doesn't even remember you. It's not like this ring will be on your finger too long…" He laughed._

 _Emily's jaw twitched and she fisted her hands on her sides. "Look, you have nothing to do with my marriage or my husband, because that's what he is and it'll always be. So, do me a favor and just back off, okay?" The three other girls glared at the smirking man._

 _"_ _Well, if you're sure. Just, if you need anything… if he doesn't want to do the job anymore, if you know what I mean, you know where to find me…" He said raising his hand to touch her cheek. Everyone practically heard Emily's control snapping and just two seconds later her fist found the nurse's nose. He yelped in pain and she leaned in to glare at him._

 _"_ _I don't want you near me or my husband's room, do you hear me? And just so you know, I'll be talking to your supervisor to make a sexual harassment complaint against you". She said before storming out, the girls behind her._

"What a bastard". Morgan said when JJ finished. Before anyone else could say anything Emily came out of the bathroom.

"Well, I think this time he got the message and won't be a problem anymore". She said.

"How is your hand Em?"

"It's fine, just a bit sore but it was worth it". She waved off his concern. Dave stood up and grabbed his coat, making notion to everyone else.

"I think we better get going. We have a briefing in two hours and maybe wheels up later. A new case in Chicago". The other's took the clue and started to move to go, saying goodbye to Hotch and Emily. When Dave hugged Emily he squeezed her tight and whispered in her ear. "Be patient sweetie. I know it's not easy but everything is going to be okay. If you need anything just call me". She nodded quickly and soon it was just her and Hotch at the room, with the now familiar awkwardness.

"Are you sure your hand is okay?" Hotch asked, looking at her now blood-free hand.

"I'm sure. It's not like I've never punched anyone". She said, sitting at the visitor's chair.

Hotch saw that she was still visibly shaken and upset so he sat more properly on the bed and motioned to her sit beside him. Her eyes widened a little bit but he smiled slight at her and she sat at the edge of the bed, not to close to him. Her eyes widened even more and her mouth parted when he carefully took her hand in his. "Emily, I may not remember that we are married and our story together but I remember you. And I care. I was just startled at his boldness that I didn't even know how to react. But I didn't appreciate the way he looked at your or spoke to you. So don't think that I don't care or that it doesn't matter to me because it does. You know I've never liked men who mistreat women and even more when it's my friend. And even more if it's my wife".

She laughed a little, taken at back by his words. "Okay". He didn't let go of her hand and she felt filled with warmth. She smiled at him and snuggled a little bit closer, her tight brushing at his hip. "Are you felling any pain? Tired?"

"No, I'm not. I little sore but it's normal, right". She nodded and he cleared his throat. He wanted to ask something to her but didn't know how. Before he could make any decisions he had to know the facts, and that included their story. "So… do you think that… I don't know. You think you can tell me a little about us?"

"Really?" She asked, suddenly happy. She really wished that he would warm up a little towards her but hearing him actually asking to know stories about them made her fell hopeful.

"Yes, I'd like to know how we got together".

Her smile brightened and she arranged herself on the bed, her legs curled up in front of her, resting her chin on her knees. Taking a deep breath she prepared herself to tell him their story, how they fell in love. She remembered the words of her friends earlier and made up her mind. She would get her Aaron back, with or without memory. She wouldn't give up of her family. It was all she had.

 **A/N: Take a minute to let me know what you think please. Oh, and don't fool yourself. This little step foward from Hotch doesn't mean that he is okay with everything. We still have a looooooot of drama before those two get together again. :)**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay, extra long chapter! Now I understand why so many authors choose to write based on someone's POV. God, it's exhaustive to write having to describe both of their thoughts about everything. I worked really hard on this chapter but I think I did good. I thought about splitting in two chapters but I didn't know where to cut it so I let it all in one. Please, this was one of the hardest chapters I've wrote so you have no idea how much I'd appreciate a review, even just a few words of encouragement.**

 **Oh, and I posted the oneshot I talked about. It's called What I Never Did, please go take a look and let a review!**

 **Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own CM.**

Chapter 6

"So, what do you want to know?" She asked, not sure from where to start.

"I don't know, I really don't remember anything so I guess you should start from the beginning".

She took a deep breath and tried to figure it out from where to begin. "Well, you may remember that after Haley's death all of us tried to help you with everything".

He nodded. "Yes, I remember that you all always passed by to see if I needed anything and after I came back to work you'd always help me with paperwork so I could leave on a reasonable hour".

"Right. And you may remember also a few get together we planned to take you out of the apartment and a few barbeques and picnics with the team and Jack, Will, Henry and Kevin" At his nod she continued. "Besides those things, I started to pass by sometimes too. I'd bring some takeout, stayed playing with Jack while you had some work to do. Sometimes we would watch a movie or I'd cook for you guys. We'd take Jack to the park or for ice cream, you know, those types of things. We'd always talk after Jack went to bed, either about work or about Haley and Jack, a few times about Foyet, but mostly we'd talk about silly things, share memories, stories, learn things about each other. There were a few times when I stayed over because it was too late or we had drunk a few glasses of wine. And on the next day we'd make pancakes for Jack and leave to work together".

Hotch looked at her while she talked and it was like she was transported to another place and couldn't prevent the corners of his mouth from turning up slightly. He actually remember a first couple of times when she showed up on his door with a Chinese paper bag or a pizza and offered him some 'adult conversation' or played with Jack on his room like a five-year-old girl.

"At work things started to change too. You paired us together more and we seemed to understand each other by just one look. When a case went bad for one of us we'd always knew where to find the other and offer some comfort. We became best friends. It was to you that I started to go when I had a bad day or had some news to share and you did too. Dave even teased us, saying that I had stolen his best friend". She chuckled. "We built a bond. I don't even know how to describe. Just… you and Jack became the most important people of my life. And I'd like to think that I became yours too".

She had tears on her eyes and a sweet smile that Hotch never thought he could see on her face. Right now she wasn't Agent Emily Prentiss, the strongest person he knew. She was just Emily, some woman he didn't know but apparently was the most important person of his life, aside from his son. "And how did we evolve to this?" He asked gesturing between them.

Emily thought for a while. If she really wanted to fight for them she knew she couldn't pull up her walls to protect herself. She'd had to be honest and not hide her feelings. If she wanted him to love her how could she hide her love for him? "To be completely honest I have loved you for so damn long". She said with a humorless laugh. His eyes widened a bit. "Yep. Probably ever since New York". His eyes widened even more. "Yep. When I heard that you were involved on that explosion I felt such tightness on my chest that I knew on that moment that I felt for you much more than a subordinate should feel for her supervisor".

"Wow". He said. "I didn't have a clue".

"Yeah, I know how to compartmentalize very well. I shoved it inside and didn't allow myself to even think about it. I knew nothing could ever happen between us so I decided that I wouldn't let it show and learnt to live with it". She said, looking down. "Well, when it comes to you, I really can't say. All I know is that you were a different person with me, when we started to hang out together. You weren't Agent Hotchner, stoic, serious with a frowny face" She laughed at his frown. "Yeah, like that. Anyway, you were different. You were kind, thoughtful and caring. You always smiled and even your voice was different, smother. You were the most gentleman man that I've ever met. Actually I always knew that part" She added with a smile. "You let me in. You let me know a new side of you and that just made me love you even more… And when I left I guess you realized that you had fallen for me too. That's the only good thing in all that mess".

He smiled slightly at her. Even if it was strange to have someone telling you stories about you that you don't remember it was amazing to see the look on her face while she was talking. He did care for her. He didn't love her. Or at least that he remembered. But he cared. Although, he thought about the last thing she said and frowned. "Okay, what the hell happened to you? You started saying yesterday, the guys said something about it earlier and now you mentioned again. What happened?"

She looked at him and felt tears polling on her eyes. She knew she had to tell him. But what if he didn't understand this time? What if he thought she was a whore who had slept with a terrorist for a profile? What if he thought different of her? She opened her mouth but not sound came off and she just stood there looking at him. Hotch's frown deepened at her apparently inability to speak. He saw a single tears scape from her eyes and knew that what had happened was really serious. "Emily. What happened?"

She took a deep breath and looked down. Just thinking about everything that had happened made her feel sick. She wiped the tears that had fallen on her cheek and looked up to him again, to found him staring at her with a confused and worried face. She knew she didn't have a chance. She had to tell him because it was the watershed from their relationship.

Remembering everything that he had done for her, how he had risked his career to protect her and how he had assumed all the blame from the lies to the Bureau and the team, she felt a slight hope. Maybe he would understand again. Maybe it wasn't just the building love he had for her that time that made him do all those things for her. Maybe he did understand why she done what she did and didn't judge her, didn't think any less of her. Maybe she could trust him this time. "You promise me that you won't think any less of me or you will at least try to understand why I did what I did?"

He looked at her for a few seconds. What could possibly be so bad that made her fear him think any different at her? "I promise I will listen to you and try to understand. But it's really that bad?"

She nodded quickly. "Yes, it is". Another tear fell. "It's the hardest thing that ever happened to me". He squeezed her hand in a supportive gesture and she took a breath to start. "When I started at the BAU my file said that I was working for the Bureau for more than ten years right?" He nodded. "It was a lie. I was only working with the FBI for three and a half years. Before that I was working for the CIA." She paused for a minute. God, she never thought she would have to relieve that again. "I worked with a special task-force named JTF-12. It was specialized to make profiles from terrorists. The last case we worked was with a terrorist called Ian Doyle". She shivered at the mention of his name. "He was the leader of an Ira faction, Vahalla. We had to use infiltration due to the difficult to get information about their operations. I was used, acting as an arms dealer to approach Doyle. And as I was his type, they also used me as his…" She stopped and breathed heavily. "I was involved with him".

She couldn't bring herself to look at him. She kept staring her lap and their hands still connected. She tried to calm herself, already feeling the panic running through her veins and her heart beating faster. "I was infiltrated for almost two years. I lived at his house and got information from his operations. He always talked in Russian. He thought that I only spoke English and France. During my stay in there I met a young boy, Declan. He was the housekeeper's son. Or that was what I thought. Doyle fell for me and… he proposed. After that he told me the truth. That Declan was his son and he kept him hide under his housekeeper's cares because he didn't want him to be used by his enemies to get into him".

She sneaked a look at him and saw him staring at her intensely. He squeezed her hand again and she let out a relieved breath, knowing that he wasn't thinking that she was a whore or a liar. Yet. "After he proposed he asked me to be Declan's mother, to raise him to be his successor. And I couldn't. I couldn't do that to a young and innocent boy. So when we had enough proof to make the arrest I knew that I couldn't let Declan still there because with Doyle gone his enemies could easily found about him and use him. So, after he was in jail I took Declan and Louise, the housekeeper, and faked their death. I hide them here on DC and that's why I asked for a transfer here".

Hotch tried to follow her narrative but it was really insane. It was like she had a whole other life hidden from everyone and he couldn't believe in that. Also, he tried to ignore the fact that she had slept with a terrorist for a job for almost two years but it was really hard. She had crossed the line and he couldn't ignore that. But he tried to keep his face impassive as much for her finish the story. "What happened?"

"A more than a year after Haley's death a got a call from Sean, who worked with me on JTF-12, and he told me that Doyle had escaped from the prison in North Korea. And I knew that he was going after me because he had the resources to find my real identity and that I was the one who 'killed' Declan. On the following weeks I got news that he has killed almost everyone that had worked with me on the operation. He found me. We met at a café near my apartment and he made clear that he would kill me. But he also made clear that he would do it after he destroyed me, killing everyone that I loved. He aimed to all of you Aaron. He know your routines, your address, he knew Jack's name, and Kevin's and Morgan's sisters and mom. I couldn't let him get you guys. I wouldn't forgive myself. So I run. I went to Boston, where everything started, where I met him. I took him away from you guys to take him down alone".

"And what we did?" It was the only thing he could ask.

"You went after me". She said. "I apparently underestimate you guys because you found out everything and managed to find where I was. Doyle had captured me, found out that Declan was alive and was trying to force me to reveal his location and I was trying to find a way to survive. At the same time you guys got into the warehouse we were, he and I were fighting and he stabbed me with a table leg. Morgan found me bleeding out. Doyle escaped. And I died".

"What?" He asked with wide eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I was rushed to the hospital, I died two times at the ambulance and another one at the table. But they stabilized me. But since Doyle had escaped I couldn't survive. He would come back to finish me. So you killed me". At his frown she continued. "You faked my death. You and JJ were the only ones who knew. You lied to the Bureau and the team. You guys buried me. I was death for seven months".

Hotch stood dumbfounded looking at her. He couldn't believe on what she was saying. He'd never do such thing, he'd never risk his job this way. He'd never betray his team's trust on that level. He could have been fired, he could have damaged goods his team, so many thing could have gone wrong but apparently he didn't thought of any of this. He really had risked a job that he didn't let even for his own wife and son? Now he was starting to understand the strength of this love that Rossi had talked about.

"Did we take him down?" He asked, still trying to appear the most emotionless possible. His mind was working fast to process things but he couldn't let her see all the doubts that he was having now.

"Morgan found Declan and found out that Doyle was watching him too. And then a whole mess started. Declan's biological mother showed up wanting revenge from Doyle and kidnapped Declan, with another terrorist's help. You guys arrested Doyle again and managed to found where Declan was being held captive. In the middle of that I came back and the team was very angry and confused. In the end we salved Declan but Doyle, Declan's mother and the other terrorist were killed on the crossfire. And I could finally breathe again."

Hotch sighed heavily. This was insanity. "And then we got together? Dave said that after you came back I finally had the balls to make a move".

She chuckled. "Yeah. After we got cleared from the Bureau we were going out to celebrate with the team. But you said you had to talk to me first and took me to your office. We barely made inside the door before you had me in your arms and kissed me" She said with a smile. She closed her eyes and put her fingers on her mouth, as if remembering the sensations for their first kiss. "It was so… perfect. We kissed for like hours and then you said you had missed me so much. And you called me sweetheart. And you said you loved me. God, I thought I was dreaming". She opened her eyes and found him looking at her with an indescribable look. "It was the happiest day of my life". She said looking into his eyes.

Hotch stood in silence for a long time after she finished. He tried to absorb everything she had said to him, the start of their relationship, her place on his life and Jack's life after everything that had happened and even more the whole story with her and the terrorist. He could picture him accepting her help and definitely could see her bond with Jack, after all he always knew that she was born to be a mother. Had they thought about having other kids? Probably it was something that they considered sometime. He should ask her later.

He knew, by the look on her face all the while she talked that she was completely, absolutely and desperately in love with him. And that scared the crap out of him. He never thought that he deserved someone's love like that. During all the eighteen years he had been married with Haley he tried to be a good husband, a good partner. He had never cheated on her, had never laid a finger on her, and not even raised his voice to her. But he always thought that she was too good for him. Too sweet, too kind, too pure to be involved with someone so marked, shattered. Someone so cold and frigid sometimes.

And when she left him he was sure of that. She had finally realized that she could do better and that she deserved better. And even though it hurt him deeply he knew it was the best for her because he couldn't change. He could never be the man she wanted him to be.

And now here was this woman that he knew for almost fifteen years… no, wait. He lost six years so he knew her for more than twenty years! God. And she had seen him on his weakest moments. She had seen him blown up in New York. She had seen him a hospital bed with nine holes on his chest. She had seen him covered on blood after beat a sociopath to death. She had seen him struggle alone, wondering how the hell he was supposed to raise his son without a mother.

And here she was, looking at him as if he was the most amazing man on earth. What was wrong with her?

All of this scared the hell out of him. How he was supposed to love someone so deeply? Let someone in like that? It wasn't him. He didn't do that. He always closed himself off, he never asked for help, he deal with his issues on his own. But not anymore, apparently. God. How many things had changed?!

He realized that he had spent too much time in silence when he looked at her and saw her apprehensive face. "I'm sorry. It's just a lot to take in… I'm trying to understand everything".

She tried to smile but he saw that didn't catch her eyes, her watery eyes. He tried to squeeze her hand just to found out that he wasn't holding her anymore. When he had let her go? He closed his eyes and sighed. Of course she took as if he was closing himself off of her. _And aren't you?_ He could help but thought. "It's okay, I understand. It's really a lot. I think it's enough for today. You need to sleep". He nodded once and she got off the bed, letting him lay down properly. He whispered good night and closed his eyes. He knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep soon but he needed to collect his thoughts. Especially since tomorrow he would have to face all of this with full force, going to a house he didn't know to live a life he didn't remember. _God._

 **A/N: Phew! This was really exhausting. Did you like it? Next chapter will come probably on Wednesday. But you can make my fingers work faster!**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Another extra-long chapter. I'm having difficult in cutting into pieces so I just let all in one. I hope you don't mind. Thank you for all the reviews, especially those who try to leave a word on every chapter, AllieDJ, Elizabeth1994, SpencerReidsSoulmate, thank you, really! I hope you enjoy this chapter, please, let a review again!**

 **Disclaimer: I only own Anna.**

Chapter 7

The next morning Hotch woke up with a softly murmuring. He opened his eyes and looked where it was coming from and found Emily at the corner of the room, facing the window, talking into the cellphone with someone. He tried to hear what she was saying to identify with whom she was talking that way.

"I know baby, I miss you too". She said. He frowned. Who the hell she was talking to like that? She stayed in silence for a few seconds before started to giggle about something the other person had said. "Okay. I see you soon". Another pause. "I love you too, honey. Bye". She hang up the phone and turned to him with a smile, which faded slightly when she saw that he was awake. Startled, she said. "Hey, you're awake".

"Yeah". He said curtly. "Who was on the phone?" He asked, a little sharply.

She frowned at his tone. "It was Jack. Anna called saying that he didn't want to go to school today. He said he wanted to wait for daddy at home."

"Then he can wait for me at home". He said sternly. It was really strange to have her giving orders and recommendations about his son.

"No, he can't. He has an English test. You'll be at home when he gets back so he'll have the whole night with you". She said a little annoyed. They had to talk about some things before they got home if they wanted to spare Jack from the problems she'd sure they'll have until he regain his memories. "Look, Aaron. We have to discuss some things before you'll be released". He nodded and she sat at the chair beside his bed. "I understand that you're confused, frustrated and even a little pissed about all of this. I'd be too. It's not easy to wake to a whole new life that you have no recollection of". She sighed. "And I also know that you're not comfortable with our closeness, our marriage and foremost my spot on Jack's life. But understand one thing, I am his mother. I have a say about everything that involves him and he has to do what I say he has to do and he has to respect me. We've always raised him to respect and listen both of us so even if it's weird for you, when I say something you don't deauthorize me. When it comes to him, I don't give a damn about us, about the fact that I'm the only one holding this relationship from now on or that I have to be patient with you. I only care about my son. So, to spare him from witness any arguments between us or even sense that something is not right I ask you to respect that. I am his mother, and I have no intention to stop being. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

He looked at her in astonishment for a few seconds. She had such ferocity in her eyes and her voice that reminded him the times she was fighting against his decisions on field or telling him how much she hated political agendas. Finally he nodded. "Okay, I understand. It's not going to be easy, none of this will, but I'll try, I promise".

"That's all I'm asking of you".

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

"We're here". He heard Emily saying and opened his eyes, taking a look at the house in front of him. It was a two-story house with a balcony and some trees in the front. It had a white fence, a garage for two cars on the side where he could see a little green bike leaning, probably Jack's. The front window was made of wood and glass and he could see some interior details through the beige curtain. The door was ajar, indicating that there was someone in the house. "Anna is here. Since I spent all these days at the hospital with you and Jack was with her on her house it was a little dirty here and she offered to clean up".

He only nodded as she was taking their bags from the backseat. They entered the house and he was filled with a strange feeling of safeness and homesickness. He analyzed the room in front of him.

It had a small entrance hall from where you could see part of the kitchen and dining room on one side and the staircase and living room on the other. The side of the stairs to the wall hung several frames of Jack in several stages, some of the three of them on picnics and birthday parties and others only with him and Emily, one in a room that he identified as being in his old apartment; other in a bar, probably on a date or out with the team; in one they were looking at each other, she dressed in a black dress and he in jeans and a dress shirt, both with the biggest smiles on their faces, the Eifel Tower in the background.

Emily opted for letting him alone, doing his own observations about the environment and went to the kitchen where she heard Anna doing the dishes. "Hey Ann".

"Hi sweetheart!" Anna wiped her hands on the apron on her waist and hugged Emily. "I didn't hear you came in. Where is Aaron?"

"Profiling the house". Both smirked slightly.

"How are you doing, honey?" Anna asked, nodding towards the dinner table. Both sat down and she took Emily's hands on hers and squeezed it.

"I'm… I don't know. I'm trying to deal with everything". She said with a sad smile. "It's hard not being able to reach for him, just… take his hand, hold him, kiss him… we never stayed so long away from each other. And it's worse because he is here, near, close and I can't do anything". She said, a single tear escaping.

"I know sweetie. But you have to be patient. Please don't give up on him. You two are so good together". Anna pleaded. Both were talking in a low voice for him not to hear but unbeknown from them he was standing right on the outside of the room, hearing their dialogue.

"I won't. I can't Anna. Without him and Jack I just don't have anything. I can't give up". She said shaking her head. "I just hope that I still have a chance".

"Of course you have. You're the love of his life".

"Yeah, he just has to remember that…"

Hotch finally made himself notice and greeted his mother. "Hi mom."

"Hello darling! It's so good to see you home". She said hugging him.

"It's good to be home too." He answered with a small smile.

Emily got up and took her purse and coat again, deciding to give them a few moments alone. "I'm going to pick up Jack at school, okay?"

"Are you sure honey? I can pick him." Anna offered.

"No, it's fine. I promised him that I would pick him today. I'll be right back and then I'll make us dinner. You're staying right?" She asked Anna, who nodded. She reached for Hotch automatically and gave him a peck on the cheek. Pulling back with wide eyes she looked at him. "I'm… sorry… I'm… I'll be right back". She stammered and left. Getting into the car she let the tears fall. She was really tired of crying, it wasn't like her, she didn't cry like that. But the look of terror on his face when she just gave him a kiss on the cheek hurt deeply. It made more clear to her the prospect of losing everything, her home, her partner, her son. She reminded of what she had said to Anna. She couldn't give up. It wasn't an option. She just hoped she still had a chance.

HPHPHHPHPHPHPHPHP

Hotch stood frozen on spot, in silence after Emily left. It wasn't that he had been mad or scared of her. She just took him by surprised. He wasn't used to these displays of affection from her. From what he remembered they didn't even shake hands, let alone kisses on the cheek.

He came out of his stupor with Anna's voice calling his name. "You know, it's really weird seeing you all worked up because of a kiss like that when you couldn't keep your hands off of her for a minute. Damn, I came in on you glued on each other more times than I like to admit". She said with a snort.

"I'm not worked up. She just… got me by surprise." He said indignantly.

Suddenly she became serious and looked at him right in the eyes. "Look, Aaron. I can't even begin to understand what you must be feeling right now. But please son, please, be careful here. I am your mother so, trust me on this. You love her so much. So much baby, you can't even think straight when she's not around. You can't function when she is not here with you. It's like you two are a single unit, a single person. A saw you two grown together these five years in a way I never saw on the eighteen years you were with Haley".

"I know mom, Dave already said all of this to me but I just can't see it!" He said frustrated. "In my head I'm still grieving for Haley. I'm still trying to figure how I am supposed to raise my son alone. I'm still feeling this guilt for her death and I'm still trying to recover from all the mess with that bastard. And in my head, Emily is just my subordinate. I trust her with my life, I think that she is an amazing woman, intelligent, compassionate, funny, smart and so damn beautiful, but still just my subordinate!"

"Then you can see why you fell for her. You can see the amazing woman who has been by your side for a very long time, being your lifeline, even if you didn't realize it. You just have to come to terms with the fact that, now this amazing, intelligent and so damn beautiful woman is your wife and loves you and your son more than anything".

He nodded slightly and closed his eyes, putting his head on his hands. "What am I supposed to do, mom?"

She smiled at him. "You have to open yourself sweetie. You have to open up to the possibility of falling for her again. You just have to open your eyes and your heart. You can't close yourself off, and most important, you can't mistreat her. She won't force you into anything. But you have to do your part and try to work on it. There is so much in game here. You two built a life together. You bought a house. She quit her job for you. She adopted your son and my God, no one who doesn't know the truth would ever doubt that he isn't hers. She does everything for him. You can't throw away five years, five amazing years you passed with her because you're scared son. You have to think and found a way to let her in."

They talked a little more about how things had changed; she told him some stories about Jack, about Sean and even some about Emily. A few minutes later they heard the front door opening and a loud squeal from the ten-year-old boy. "Daddy!"

A few inches before he crashed onto Hotch's arms he was tugged back by his schoolbag for Emily. "Jack!" She cried. "What did we talk on the way home?" She asked turning him to look at her. "Your dad is still recovering so you can't jump on him like always baby! You have to be gentle and help mom to take care of him, you understand?"

They boy nodded, his head down. "I'm sorry mommy. I just missed him".

She smiled at him and huffed his hair. "I know you did sweetheart. Just be careful okay?"

He nodded again and turned to his father, going to his arms a lot more gently this time. "Hi daddy".

"Hey buddy. I missed you too". Hotch said hugging the boy. He opted to stay in silence during the previous discussion, remembering the talk with Emily earlier and knowing that she was right, he couldn't handle any strenuous activities so soon. Looking up to her he saw her mouthing a thank you for him which he just nodded with a slight smile.

HPHPHPHPHHPHPHPHPHP

They ate dinner together, Anna included, at the dinner table. Although the things were still a shaken between Hotch and Emily, they ate peacefully, the talking more focused on Jack's rambles about school, trying to update their parents for the last two weeks. After dinner Anna left, refusing the offer to stay for the night. Hotch and Jack went to the living room to watch a movie while Emily was at the kitchen doing the dishes, opting to let them alone for a while.

When she saw it was almost nine-thirty already she went to the living room, bracing herself to the complaints of the boy. "Jack, honey. It's bedtime. Say goodnight to daddy".

"But mom! I want to stay with daddy!" The boy whined.

She sighed, putting her hands on her hips. "Jack, we've discussed this. Your father needs to rest to recover and you have school tomorrow".

"But I don't want to go to school either…" He pouted, crossing his arms on his chest stubbornly.

"Too bad, because you're going anyway. Now, please, say goodnight to your father and let's go to bed".

When the boy opened his mouth to say something Hotch cut in, surprising Emily. "Jack, Emi-your mother is right. I'm home now, so we'll have plenty of time to be together, but now you need to go to bed".

Emily sighed thankfully for his backup with Jack. But he wasn't convinced yet. "Can I sleep with daddy then? We can rest together!" He asked with hopeful eyes.

"No, Jack. Your daddy needs space and the bed all for himself. Not even I am sleeping with him tonight". That caught Hotch's attention and he saw her conflicted eyes at that. But it seemed to resign Jack's arguments because the boy got up with a defeated okay to give a hug and a kiss on his father and going upstairs. "I'll be right up baby". Emily called to the boy. Turning to Hotch she nodded to upstairs too. "And I think it would be better if you rest soon too. It was a busy day".

"We're not sleeping on the same room?"

"No Aaron. I know you wouldn't be comfortable with that, so I'll stay on the other room". She said resigned.

"Thanks." She nodded and he followed her to the stairs. She leaded him to the door on the end of the hall and entering, he instantly knew that it was their bedroom. There was a king sized bed in the middle of the room, a door on the left, probably to the bathroom, a walk in closet on the right wall and a large window leading to a small balcony. The walls were painted in a light shadow of blue and he found himself feeling awfully comfortable there.

"I just have to pick some things from the closet and the bedroom. I'll be on the guest right, two doors on the left". He was startled at Emily's voice.

"No, Emily I can't shove you out of your bedroom. I'll stay in the guest room, it's okay." He said watching her starting to shake her head.

"No, this bed is better for you. I'll be fine, don't worry".

"But…"

"Please Aaron." She interrupted him with a broken voice and he could see the tears pooling on her eyes. "I don't… I really don't want to sleep here without you." He nodded once and watched her catching some clothes on the closet and a few toiletries on the bathroom. Before leaving she turned to him. "If you need anything, please call me. Doesn't matter what time is it, okay?"

"Okay." She nodded and left. He took another look on the room, spotting the frame standing on the bedside table. Taking into his hands he sat at the bed and looked at the picture, trying to remember anything, anything at all, but none came. He looked at the picture for several minutes. It was one of their marriage. Emily was wearing a beautiful white dress, her hair falling like a cascade on her back. He was on a gray tux and they were kissing each other. There were a few white rose petals falling onto them, probably it was taken when they were leaving the church. He looked at their mouths pressed on each other's and sighed. What if his memory didn't come back? He remembered his mother's words from earlier. _You have to open yourself sweetie. You have to open up to the possibility of falling for her again. You just have to open your eyes and your heart._ Was he capable of that? Was he capable of making her happy? He laid on the bed and closed his eyes, still holding the frame, not realizing the sleep involving him.

 **A/N: Like it? Hate it? I need to know, please!**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Wow, you guys are amazing! We've reached the 50th review on this fic and I can't put on words how much this means to me. Thank you so so so much! Here is another HUGE chapter. I must have lost the ability to right just a little. But I know you don't mind.**

 **Here is their first whole day at home. You'll see that they're taking tiny steps forward. I hope you'll like it!**

 **Disclaimer: I own Anna.**

Chapter 8

Hotch woke up a little after seven. Opening his eyes he first was a little confused about his surroundings, but after look at the object he was still holding tightly on his hands he remembered everything. Well, not everything. Actually, he remembered that he didn't remember anything. Sighing, he got up the bed and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and freshen up a little.

Going downstairs he started to hear laughter coming from the kitchen. He approached carefully and stood near the doorframe, hiding on the corner, observing the scene in front of him. Emily and Jack were on the counter, mixing something in a bowl, both giggling and laughing nonstop. "Okay sweetheart, you know what to do?" He heard she asking Jack, who nodded fervently. "So I'll take care of the pancakes and you watch the toasts, okay? Be careful when you'll turn them, right baby?"

"Okay, mom". The boy carefully took care of the toasts while she made the pancakes by his side. He heard them start to sing a few songs that he didn't knew, probably from the years he lost. They laughed and even made some dances a few times. After another few minutes he made himself notice, entering the kitchen and greeting them.

"Good morning" He said with a little smile playing on his lips.

Apparently, the good mood of the morning made Emily forget about the accident, because she immediately turned with a huge grin to him. "Hey babe". She started to go towards him but suddenly frozen, her eyes growing wide slightly and she retracted herself. "Sorry. Morning." She mumbled, a light blush creeping on her neck.

"It's okay". He whispered. He turned to Jack, giving him a kiss on the head. "Hey buddy. What you're doing?"

"French toast! And mom is making blueberry pancakes! Your favorites, daddy!" The boy answered with a grin.

"Wow, buddy, that's awesome. Can I help with something?"

"Actually it's all ready, let's just set the table". Emily answered still avoiding eye contact with him. He sighed heavily, going to help her with the table. They sat and she served him with a cup of black coffee with two sugars, just the way he liked. She served Jack with his orange juice and finally her own coffee with no sugar and a little cream.

He took the first bite of the pancake and wasn't able to avoid the low moan from deep on his throat. "Jesus, Emily this is amazing…" He said, picking another bite. It was definitely the best pancake he'd ever eat.

She smiled a little and whispered a thanks and Jack nodded enthusiastically. "Mommy makes the best pancakes in the whole word!"

She chuckled and huffed his hair, making the boy giggle. "That's because I have the greatest little helper of the world!"

Hotch watched amazed the interaction between them and when she looked up he caught her eyes and held a warm stare, nodding slightly his head and smiling a little. He saw her blush again and cut the eye contact, resuming herself to eat her French toast and talking to Jack.

After breakfast Emily put the dishes on the sink and turned to her son. "So, baby. It's Saturday. What do you want to do?"

The boy thought seriously before shout to the two brunettes. "The Zoo!"

Emily shook her head and smiled sympathetically to him. "We can't go to the zoo today honey. Remember, your daddy it's recovering. He was just released yesterday. How about we make a movie day today in the living room and next weekend, if he is a little better we can go to the zoo?"

"You guys can go alone, I'll be fine here". Hotch answered, seeing the little boy's face fall. But he immediately shook his head negatively.

"No daddy, we can't leave you alone. Mom said that the doctor recommended a lot of hugs and kisses for you to recover faster and we can't do that if we're not with you, right mom?" He looked at Emily.

"That's right sweetheart. We can't. So go upstairs brush your teeth and take your bath while I'll set the DVD and choose which ones we'll be watching, okay?" He nodded before running to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later the family off three were putting the first movie on the DVD player, Shrek Forever After, and heading to the couch. Hotch and Jack sat on the biggest couch and Emily opted to sit on the armchair on the side until Jack complain about it. "No, mom, that's not right. You have to sit here with us. You sit beside dad and you cuddle with him and I sit by your side and cuddle with you! We always do that!"

Emily sighed and tried to keep the tears back. "I know baby, but I can't cuddle with your daddy right now because he's hurt on his chest". She tried to reason with him.

"So you just cuddle a little bit! You said he had to get a lot of cuddles and kisses so we have to give him!" He argued.

When she opened her mouth to contradict him Hotch spoke up. "It's okay. You lean on me just a bit, you won't hurt me". _Yeah. But what about you hurt me?_ Her mind argued. But seeing that she really didn't have a choice she nodded and went to the couch. She sat on the middle of them and shivered when Hotch put his arms around her shoulders, making her lean her head on it. She closed her eyes and breathed his intoxicating scent, immediately feeling the usual butterflies on her tummy caused by him. God, even after five years he still had this type of domination over her own body. They started the movie and Jack snuggled closer to her. She turned her attention to the TV and to the boy by her side, trying to ignore the heat coming from the man on her other side.

They passed to the other movie right after the end of the first, Home this time, and by the middle of the movie she saw that Jack had fallen asleep on her lap. She was pressed even closer to Hotch by now, due to Jack's constant snuggling. Taking care to not turn to closer to him she looked at Hotch and whispered. "Jack slept".

He turned to her and heard her sharp a breath at the closeness of their faces. He was aware of the tension on her body ever since they started the first move and knew that it had increased every time Jack made her stay closer to him. He tried to ignore the feeling of her body pressed into his but couldn't ignore completely.

Part of him, a big part, the boring, stoic, Unit Chief of the Behavior Analysis Unit of the FBI part of him was screaming that it was wrong and very weird that he was cuddling on the couch with his subordinate and his son watching animated films. But the other part of him, this part that was growing each day since he woke up on that hospital bed, _it really was just four days?_ Jesus. Well, that part of him saw this same subordinate take care of him, confess her undying love for him, treat his son like her own and make all she could to keep him comfortable in a strange house, with a strange routine, a whole strange life. That little growing part of him was enjoying the company of one of the most beautiful, loving and caring woman he'd ever saw in his life.

He looked at his sleeping son and back to her terrified expression and couldn't prevent the corners of his mouth from turning up a little. "You look terrified".

She dropped her gaze and shook her head slightly. "I'm not terrified Aaron. I just don't know how to act near you anymore…" She sighed and caressed Jack's hair. "Usually we'd be making out right now, enjoying Jack's sleep".

"I'm sorry Emily…" He sighed. "I'd give anything, anything at all to remember our life together… But I'm trying. I swear I am".

"I know you are. The simple fact that you came home with me or slept holding our wedding photography…" She said thoughtfully. Seeing his raised eyebrow at her last statement she shrugged. "I had forgotten a few things and got in this morning to pick at the closet".

"Well… it's a really good picture". He said.

"Yeah, it is. But it's your favorite, not mine". She added.

"And what it's yours?" He asked actually curious.

"It's that one on that shelf". She said pointing to a frame on a shelf on the other side of the room. "It was taken right after that one of our kiss. We're looking at each other and you have such a sweet smile on your lips and I'm grinning at you. And there's a single tear escaping from my eye. And your eyes… they're so expressive. It's like your admiring the true meaning of life. We were so happy…" She finished whispering.

They stood in silence for a very long time before he asked quietly. "Can I confess you something?"

"Of course". She said turning to him again.

"The… the intensity of your love for me scares me". He said truthfully. "Scares the crap out of me not knows if I'm really capable of returning this feeling. Not know if I'm capable of making you this happy, you know. I mean… I'm really broken Emily. I have a divorce that says that I suck at this".

"That's not true Aaron. You and Haley divorced because she couldn't understand your love for our job. Not because you were a bad husband. You just couldn't give her what she wanted and it wasn't fair for her to ask you to change who you were. Who you are". She said looking into his eyes. "And it was for this man that I fell in love. This infuriating, stubborn and cold man, who sometimes forgot how to smile and how to allow himself to be happy. I always admired you. How loyal and straightforward you always are, how you always try to do the right thing, how you always are ready to help your friends, your family. You're so amazing, honey. And, God, you make me so happy. These five years we've been together were the happiest years of my life. You gave me a home, a family; you gave me a reason to life for. Don't ever doubt it Aaron. No one in my whole life was capable to make me as happy as you do".

They looked at each other for a few seconds. He brought his hand to brush a strand of her hair off of her face before caressing lightly her cheek with the back of his fingers. "I can easily see why I fell in love with you".

She smiled at him and leaned in a few inches. Just when she saw him leaning down too Jack woke up. "Mommy?"

She closed her eyes and sighed, dropping her head down. Turning to the sleepy boy on her lap she smiled. "Yes, sweetie?"

"I'm hungry". He whined. And to prove his point they heard a loud growl from his tummy, making him giggle.

Emily laughed at the boy and tickled his sides. "Well, then by always means, let's feed the beast". She got up and went to the kitchen. "I'll fix some kitchen that Anna let on the fridge very quickly, okay?"

She stood in front of the fridge for a few seconds, controlling her breathing. Smiling she touched her cheek, where he had caressed. They were moving forwards, that much she knew.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

After lunch, Emily was doing the dishes while the boys were on the kitchen watching cartoons. The phone started to ring and she called from the kitchen. "Can you answer it, Aaron?"

He shouted an affirmative answer and picked the phone. "Hello".

"Hi darling". His mother greeted from the other end. "How are you?"

"I'm fine mom, thanks."

"Are you close to Emily or she can hear you? Just answer yes or no." She asked.

"Yes". He said frowning. Even though she was at the kitchen he knew she could hear them.

"Can you go somewhere private?"

"Just a minute". He excused himself and went outside, to the balcony. "Okay, what's up mom?"

"Well, here is the thing. Tomorrow is Valentine's day." She said. _Uh._ "And a few weeks ago you called me asking to keep Jack for the night because you had a date planned for you and Emily".

"I did?" He asked. Uh. That was before all this mess, so what he should do? Even if they were passing through this rough time it didn't seem fair to just ignore that day. Especially because she would definitely remember and it would be just another reason for her to be sad about it.

"Yes, you told me you had done reservations on The Capital Grille. And you asked me to keep your presents for her because you were afraid that she found them. I took them with me yesterday and hid at the top drawer of Jack's bedside table. The big one is to give for her in the morning and the small is for the night. So… You're still taking her out?"

"I… I… I don't know. What should I do, mom?" He asked confused.

"You really want my opinion?" She asked.

"Yes, I do."

"I think you should take your wife out. I think both of you, but especially her, need a full night without drama and amnesia, without a child to worry about. I think you should use this opportunity to get to know her better. Usually it does not begin with a date?"

Uh. He couldn't deny her logic. He really wanted to know Emily, to try to ignite a few memories back, to know more about their relationship. And honestly, part of him was excited with the prospect of taking Emily Prentiss on a date. Hotchner, Emily Hotchner, his brain reminded. "Well… then I think I'm taking my wife on a date, right?"

His mother chuckled at the other side of the line. "That's right babe. I'll pass by to pick Jack by six-thirty okay?"

"Okay mom, thanks."

He hung up the phone and shook his head. Damn. He was going on a date tomorrow. How many years he hadn't gone on a date? And adding the fact that he was going on a date, on Valentine's Day, with a woman whom already proved that was absolutely crazy about him, whom happened to be his wife, and he didn't even remember how it was to kiss her. He thought about their little moment on the couch earlier. Maybe he could found out.

 **A/N: Did you like it? Since tomorrow it's really Valentine's Day I thought, why not enjoy it? I pretend to post their date tomorrow but you guys could be supportive and let a lot of reviews to make me happy! I was thinking about an oneshot especially for this day so maybe if we reach sixty reviews I'll post it. You think we can make it?**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey, here I am! As promised, here is their Valentine's Day. This chapter is pure fuffly. I'm sorry, I'm in the mood. But don't fool yourself. This story it's not near a happy ending so soon. We still have a lot of drama on the next chapters. But I decided to give them a good day. Of course it's nothing x-rated. I know this is rated M, but will get there eventually. First with a couple of flashbacks, I think.**

 **Anyway, here it is their date. Hope you like it!**

 **Oh, another thing. You guys made me really happy with your reviews. I can't even describe it. But I won't be able to post the oneshot today. I had a really busy day and I couldn't finish it. I almost didn't finish this, but since I promised I didn't want to disapoint you guys. It's already pass ten-thirty here on Brazil and I'm exhausted. But I promise that I'll post it tomorrow. And since I'm really exhausted, I appologize for any grammar errors.**

 **Disclaimer: I own Anna.**

Chapter 9

The next morning Hotch woke up being shaken on the shoulder carefully. "Dad, dad wake up!" He opened his eyes and found Jack knelt beside his bed. "We have to make mom's breakfast! It's Valentine's Day!" The boy whispered excitedly. Hotch nodded and got up. Right, Valentine's Day. He thought about their date later and couldn't prevent the smile on his lips. He had decided that he would give her a good day. She deserved it. She would be so happy.

The two Hotchner boys went downstairs trying to be the most silently possible to avoid waking up Emily. It was just after six and according to Jack they had less than an hour before she got up. "So, you have to help me. What do you think we should do?" He asked Jack. He had no idea what to do because he didn't know what she liked or didn't like for breakfast.

"Strawberries pancakes, of course! It's her favorites! And French Toast. And we have to make coffee with the cream she likes and orange juice. Oh and she likes scramble eggs. And the flowers? Did you order them?" Jack asked.

"I… I have no idea…" He stammered. Did he have order flowers?

"Okay… The number is on the book. Do you want me to call them?"

"Yeah, yeah. You go do that and I'll start the pancakes okay?" Jack nodded and went to the living room and he looked around the kitchen to try to understand where to begin. He looked through the fridge and the cabinets to pick what he would need to make the pancakes.

Fifteen minutes later Hotch was finishing the eggs and the pancakes while Jack was making the toasts. They arranged the tray with all the food just as the doorbell rang. Hotch went to get the flowers and pay the delivery boy and hand them to Jack while he was taking tray. When they passed through the boy's door Hotch whispered. "Go get the present, Jack. Remember, it's just the big one. The other it's for later".

"Right daddy". The boy whispered back and went quickly to take the bag. Coming back with the present in one hand and the flowers on the other he grinned at his father, who grinned back, and the two of them made their way to the guest room. Pushing the door open they got inside and he held a sharped breath at the sight of her sleeping.

She was wearing one of his Harvard t-shirts and her hair was all messed up. Her mouth was curved on a little smile and he could tell that she was having a good dream. Placing the tray at the end of the bed he approached her and sat beside her, brushing the hair from her face and tracing his fingertips along her cheeks. She sighed happily and he smiled back at her, whispering softly. "Good morning, Emily".

She opened her eyes slowly and blinked a few times. "Hey… Good morning…" She whispered back, smiling, leaning on the hand that still was on her cheek. Suddenly she widened her eyes and got up quickly. "Wha… wha… what are you doing here?" He grinned at her confused face and looked over at Jack.

"It's Valentine's Day, mom!" Jack shouted, going towards her with the flowers and the present. Hotch took the flowers from the boy and handed to her.

"Happy Valentine's Day…" He said with a smile. She took the two dozen of tulips, her favorites, and breathed their scent. She felt the tears pricking into her eyes and looked up to him.

"Aaron…"

He smiled at her before Jack hand him the present too. "Look mom, we got you a present!" He gave it to her too and smiled as a single tear escaped from her eyes. She opened the bag to reveal a beautiful red scarf that she had told him about over a month ago.

"Oh…" She gasped. "It's so beautiful… I can't believe you remembered". Playfully rolling her eyes she said. "Well, remember before you forget again". He chuckled.

"Yeah. Well, I apparently asked for my mom to keep it so you wouldn't found it. She sent with Jack yesterday". He clarified. "Let's eat or the breakfast will get cold".

Just then she noticed the tray on the foot of her bed, filled with her favorite pancakes, toast, eggs, coffee and juice. She couldn't manage to avoid another few tears from falling and shivered when she felt his thumbs wiping them. "Thank you" She whispered looking at him. "And thank you my sweet boy! Come give me a kiss!" She said to Jack, chuckling at the young boy jumping on her bed and throwing his arms around her neck to hug her tightly. She placed several kisses on his cheek before pulling away. "Let's go eat because it smells really yummy". She said as Jack sat beside her.

"How come daddy didn't give you a kiss?" Jack asked innocently making both adults frozen.

Emily looked at Jack, trying to figure it out how to explain such a complicated issue to the boy. "Oh baby, it's just that…" She was cut off as Hotch's hand cupped the back of her head and brought it close to his, making eye contact for a few seconds, smiling at her wide eyes, before closing the distance between them with a sweet kiss. God, she had the sweetest lips he'd ever tasted. Part of him was terrified by his actions. He didn't know what had made him kiss her on the first place. He just saw her face struggling to find a way to explain the situation to Jack and thought why the hell he couldn't kiss his wife? Then, he did. And God, it felt so good. He pulled apart and chuckled at the stunned look on her face.

"Let's eat". He said, getting up to pick the tray. She stood there, astonished, looking at him. He put the tray in front of her and served the coffee. Seeing that she wasn't moving yet he chuckled again. "Are you going to pass out?"

"This was the best present you could have given it to me". She whispered, fighting back her tears again.

"Good. Now let's eat, uh?" She nodded with a smile and they started to eat. After finishing their breakfast Hotch turned to Jack. "So, what should we do today? We have the whole afternoon before your grandma comes to pick you…"

"What? What do you mean?" Emily asked frowning.

"Mom it's taking him for the night and we're going out". He answered with an obvious tone.

"Really?" What was wrong with this man today? Or right?

"Really. We're going to dinner and then take a walk, maybe. Okay?" He asked her.

She grinned, a very wide grin, her eyes sparkling. "Yes! Of course yes!" She almost shouted making him chuckle. He nodded at her, saying that he would take the dishes to the kitchen. She just couldn't wipe off the smile of her face. Whatever had happened to him, she just thanked God for this change. She touched her lips lightly. She was getting her husband back.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

That evening, Hotch was helping Jack to finish packing his bag to spend the night at Anna's house. It was six-fifteen and she should be arriving soon. He was already dressed in a dark-blue suit with a white dress-shirt, without a tie. They had passed the day watching films again, at Jack's choice because he said that Hotch couldn't be tired since he was going out with his mom that night.

Emily was getting ready at the guest room and he was starting to get nervous again. During the day they cuddle on the couch like the day before and the tension had been less intense than that too. He patted the small box on the inside pocket of his suit jacket. He had opened earlier and found a beautiful gold necklace with a heart pendant, all craved with rubies.

He heard the doorbell and rushed Jack downstairs. "Let's go buddy. Grandma is here."

He opened the door and greeted his mother with a small kiss on her cheek. "Hello babe, well don't you look all handsome". She smiled at him. "Where's Emily?"

Before he could answer he heard her voice coming from the stairs. "I'm here". Turning around to look at her his jaw almost dropped on the floor. She was dressed on a simple black dress, strapless, with a heart-cut neckline, the red scarp he had given to her hanging in one arm and a small bag on the other. The dress was knee-length and the beige peep-toes made her legs look much longer. Her hair was loose and curled and her makeup was very lightly, except from the red lipstick that emphasized her perfect lips. He had never seen her more beautiful. "Hi Anna".

He was pulled out of his thoughts with her voice greeting his mother. Anna chuckled at his speechlessness and hugged Emily. "Hey darling, you look absolutely beautiful".

"Thank you Anna. Did you get everything you need it, baby?" She asked Jack. The boy nodded and gave her a hug, shouting goodbye to his father who simply stood dumbfounded looking at Emily. "You'll take him to school tomorrow?" Anna nodded. "Okay, then we'll see you tomorrow afternoon Jack. I'm picking you at school right?"

The boy nodded again and they said their goodbyes. After closing the front door Emily turned to Hotch, who was still staring at her. Finally he managed to open his mouth. "You… you look absolutely breathtaking". He whispered hoarsely.

She blushed deeply and smiled at him. "Thank you. You look pretty great yourself". She said taking a few steps toward him. "Shaw we go?"

"In a minute". He said reaching for the package on his pocket. "I have one more present for you". He handed her the jewelry box.

She smiled and opened the box. "Oh, Aaron…" She breathed, looking at the necklace.

"May I?" He asked. She nodded and turned her back to him, taking her hair off the way. He put the necklace on her neck, letting his fingers brush through her neck and shoulders after. "There you go".

She shivered at his voice on her ear and turned to face him again. "So?"

"Beautiful". He said, looking at her neckline. Looking into her eyes again he smiled. "You are absolutely beautiful".

She smiled through her tears. "Thank you… and thank you for doing this. All of this. I wasn't expecting anything, you know".

"I know. But I talked to my mom and she told me everything I had planned for this day before the accident and honestly, why waste? She reasoned with me and she was right. We both, but especially you deserve this. And it's really not a sacrifice. We're married and I don't know almost anything about you. So, why not start with a date?"

She smiled and nodded, surprised again when he leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Let's go".

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

They passed the entire dinner talking about themselves. Actually more about her, her likes and dislikes, her childhood, her experiences, it was like their first date all over again. Emily was feeling so happy that she couldn't stop smile for not even a minute. She shivered every time they'd brushed hands on the table and smiled when he ordered a piece of chocolate cake, her favorite, for them to share as a desert.

After leaving the restaurant he invited her to take a walk on the park nearby and she nodded fervently. They walked down the little streets side by side, talking quietly about random thinks, he asking a lot about Jack's life through the years and even stories about them.

She startled when he put his arms around her shoulders after she shivered a little by the cold. She looked at him with a smile and leaned her head on his shoulder. Suddenly he stopped walking, making her turn to him with a confused face. During all their dinner and the walk he had watched her face brightly, sparkling with excitement. He saw her licking her lips after taking a sip of wine or taking a bite of her food or their cake. He had watched her smile, grin and laugh the whole time, her red lips glowing on the fair skin of her face and couldn't stop thinking about their kiss that morning. And how much he wanted more. As much as he knew that he shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't be kissing her before he come to terms with all his issues and be able to actually commit with her to go forwards on their relationship, he couldn't help himself. He had to have that taste properly.

"Aaron?" She asked frowning when he just kept looking at her.

"I'm still very confused. This is all very overwhelmed for me, our life together, you as my wife and Jack's mom, and I know I can't make you any promises yet before I get used to this". He said and she nodded. "But…"

"But what Aaron?" She asked seeing him struggle.

"But I really want to kiss you". He blurted out and her eyes widened. "Can I?" He asked cupping her face with his hands.

"Of course you can". She said with a breath as his head descended towards hers. He pressed his lips on hers shyly first, then more firmly. She wrapped her arms around his torso and sighed contented into his mouth, making him smile. He traced the tip of his tongue on her lips and she opened her mouth eagerly, shivering at the contact with hers. They kissed lazily and thoroughly for several minutes, both alternating stroking and sucking each other's tongues until the air became a serious problem. Pulling apart, breathlessly she hummed against his mouth, stealing another sweet kiss before he pulled away completely. "Hmm… that was good". She smiled opening slowly her eyes and meeting his dark ones.

"Indeed it was. Thank you..." He smiled.

"Of course. Feel free to do it anytime". They both chuckled. "And thank you Aaron. Thank you for trying. For not pulling away. For not closing yourself. For giving me a chance".

He smiled at her and gave her another sweet kiss on her lips, putting his arms around her again. "It's late. Let's go home".

She grinned widely. Home. She was even more confident after this night. She would get her husband back. "Let's go home".

 **A/N: You guys like it? Please let a review. Depending on the feedback I'll post the other chapter on Tuesday.**


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: I am so sorry for the late uptade. I got caught up with work and study and just didn't had the time to write this. This is the continuation of their date, following their arrival at home. We have more Hotly and another kiss. From now on we will follow him on their try to rebuild their relationship and Aaron's love for Emily. We'll have a couple of problems on the waay of course. Next chapter will be posted by Wednesday. I hope you like it!**

Chapter 10

They got home a little after eleven. Emily suddenly was feeling very nervous. They had walked back to the car hand in hand and in silence. He had opened the car's door for her, the driver's seat since he wasn't cleared to drive, and they had made their way back home in silence too. And now she didn't know what to expect. She felt like she was walking in eggshells and she didn't like it. She knew that due to his condition she couldn't wait for Valentine's sex. But, God. How much she wanted to sleep on their bed, on his arms, feeling his heartbeat, breathing his scent and feeling his skin on hers.

But looking at his struggling face she knew that she couldn't wait for that. She tried to think positive, because they were really taking tiny steps towards. But it didn't hurt any less. She missed him so much. Deciding to save him from any awkwardness she turned to him with a little smile. "Thank you for the night. Really, everything was perfect. As I said to you, I wasn't expecting anything so you really took me by surprise. And thank you for my gifts". She remembered his gift from her for this day. She had bought a new negligee, a lace red one, his favorite color on her, and was plaining a special night for them. He had made her promise that she wouldn't buy any gifts for him because she had given him a very expensive Rolex on Christmas, so she chose to buy something that they both could have some fun. Unfortunately it wasn't an option for now.

She must have shown her disappointment on her face because he frowned and step closer to her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing… just that… I can't give you your gift now…" She said quietly.

His frown deepened. "You don't have to, but… why not?"

She looked at him for a second before looking away, blushing. "It's just… it was a different gift". She stammered a bit. "You said you didn't want a real gift so I bought something we both could enjoy". She said with a knowingly smile. A few seconds later his frown changed to a widened eye and then he blushed too. "Yeah… I planned a special night but… first, you're still injured for that and secondly… well, I'll save it for another time, if we have the opportunity".

"Emily…" He started, shaking his head sheepishly.

"No, no, Aaron, don't get me wrong. I'm not pressuring you into anything. Honestly, I know how much you must be confused with all that it's happening and just being able to kiss you today is more than enough for me. I really thought that I wouldn't have a taste of you for a very long time so… thank you". She smiled. They stayed in silence for a few moments before she cleared her throat. "Well… I guess I'll go to bed now. You should go too. You need to rest."

He nodded quickly. She turned to go upstairs but then suddenly stopped, turning back to him with a sheepishly look. "What?" He asked, taking a few steps closer.

"Can I have a good night kiss?" She asked sweetly and he couldn't help but smile at her.

"Of course you can". She closed the distance between them quickly, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing their lips together in a sweet and longing kiss. Just as she was pulling back, his hands, which were resting on her hips, circled her waist and pressed her tightly against his frame, his tongue tracing her lips, seeking for permission to entrance that she eagerly obliged. She moaned into his mouth at the touch of his tongue on hers and the kiss quickly escalated as he hungrily devoured her mouth, sucking her tongue and tracing every inch with his.

They continued the kiss for several minutes, his hands roaming around her back and hers gripping his hair tightly. They parted when the lack of oxygen too much, both panting heavily and gasping for breath. "God, Aaron…" Emily said with a shiver, still gripping tightly into him, this time on the lapel of his jacket, afraid that she would collapse due the way her knees had turned into jelly during the kiss.

He smiled at her and gave her one more peck on the lips. "Good night, Emily".

"Good night, my love". She said with a watery smile, her eyes sparkling and her face glowing. "Thank you for the best Valentine's Day ever".

"Best ever? Really?" He asked with a frown. This was really their best Valentine's Day? With no celebration sex, not even an 'I love you' from him?

She smiled at him, knowing why he was asking that. "Yes. Best ever. Don't get me wrong, we had some very awesome Valentine's Days, with fancy dinners and fancy lingerie and a lot of sex, even with me covered on Chantilly once". She chuckled at his wide eyes. "But this one… this one you made me a delicious breakfast, gave me the most beautiful flowers, a beautiful scarf that I wanted so much, this beautiful necklace, took me to an amazing dinner, kissed me so many times and all of that you did for me without loving me". He looked down and opened his mouth to argue. "No, Aaron, I know that you're not in love with me. I know that. You're the Aaron of six years ago and he didn't love me yet. He was struggling to recover from his attack, from the murder of his wife and he was trying to figure out how to raise his little son and continue to do his job properly. We built this together and you learnt to love me with time". She raised her hand to make him look into her eyes. "And the only thing I want is the opportunity to make you learn to love me again. Because babe, I love you so much. I can't function without you in my life. When you woke up in that hospital without remember anything the only thing in my mind was 'I can't lose him'. I just can't. And that's why I'm here, exposing myself and opening my heart to you even though the rational part of my brain is screaming for me to protect myself, telling me that anytime you can't go away through that door saying that you can't be with me and take away my son with you. It's because I can't live without you so I'm going to fight with all that I have to get you back to me. Because you are the love of my life".

He looked at her and took her hand on his cheek to plant a kiss on its palm. "Thank you for not pressuring me. And for loving me this much. And Emily, I'd just like to say that even if everything goes wrong and… even if I can't… if we can't make this work… I would never, _ever_ , cut you out of Jack's life like that. I already understood that you are his mother and I wouldn't do this with you guys. I hope you know that".

She fight with the pain on her chest at the prospect of losing him but managed to keep the tears back and give him a small smile. "I know. Well, let's go to bed. Good night again. Sleep well, my love". She said standing on tiptoes to give him a last peck on his lips and then went upstairs, looking back to smile at him quickly.

He stood there, looking at where she went and smiled. Inside, he was still fighting a battle about what he should do. They had taken a large step forward today and he was honestly happy about that. Going upstairs he passed through the guest room's door and could hear her walking around, preparing herself for bed. He knew that she wanted to sleep with him and had just ignored the idea to not make him uncomfortable.

But truth to be told, he wanted it too. He wanted to know how it was to sleep with her in his arms, smelling her scent and wake up to her, seeing her beautiful face first thing in the morning. He didn't know where this need to be near her was coming from but he wanted. He wasn't naïve enough to fool himself saying that he didn't notice her before. As he had said to Rossi and to his mother, he always thought that she was a beautiful woman, strong, determined and intelligent. He just never thought that they would be together someday. He never thought that she would ever look at him this way, let alone to love him this much.

But she did. Every day she proved it to him. And that scared him. Deeply.

He remembered what she said to him. _And that's why I'm here, exposing myself and opening my heart to you even though the rational part of my brain is screaming for me to protect myself. It's because I can't live without you so I'm going to fight with all that I have to get you back to me. Because you are the love of my life._

It was so good to be loved this deeply. It had been so long. Since Haley he hadn't had anyone to say these things to him. To love him, to fight for him. And even with Haley he couldn't say that he knew what it was like because she didn't fight for them. She had abandoned him, taking their son with her, as if they hadn't meant anything. Not to count the times he knew she had betrayed him before that. He never confronted her but he knew about it, he wasn't stupid. So why to not enjoy this amazing woman who was proving over and over that loved him _and_ his son more than anything?

Finally, he decided to give it a try. He had already decided yesterday to give her a good day and after their date and everything he learnt about her he just thought that she was even more amazing. And she wanted him. And she chose him to spend her life with. Why be so scared? It wasn't like they were just fooling around and he could end it easily. They were married, they have a committed relationship, they have a son together because even though she wasn't Jack's biological mom, she was the one who helped him to raise him and make him the boy he was today.

And she was trying so hard to make this the less difficult to him. If there's one thing he had learnt with his previous marriage is that love and relationships were a two way street. They needed to be feed and built together, every single day. They demanded effort from both parts. They demanded understatement and companionship. So he had to do his part to make this work too, to make her happy too.

He approached the closed door and knocked it lightly, waiting for her to open it. A few seconds later she opened it and looked at him with a curious look. "What is it?"

He looked at her up and down and God, she was even more beautiful with just an old t-shirt and one of his boxers, face cleaned from makeup and her hair on a messy bun. He could not be in love with her but he definitely was attracted to her. Clearing his throat quickly he looked back into her eyes and said. "I was thinking and… would you like to uh… I don't know… maybe, would you like to…" He stammered.

She chuckled at his inability to speak. "What is it, Aaron?"

He cleared his throat again and took a deep breath. "Would you like to sleep with me tonight? On our bed?"

It was her turn to stay speechless, her mouth hanging opened and her eyes almost bugging out of her head. "A-are you serious?" He chuckled and nodded. "Of course I want to!" She said with a squeal and thrown he arms around his neck to hug him tightly. "Oh honey, you are making me so happy!" She whispered on his neck, a few tears escaping from her eyes.

"I'm glad". He smiled at her. So this was pure love? Happiness based in only the presence of the other person? It was a pretty good feeling. He wiped the tears from her face and took her hand with his. "C'mon. Let's go to bed".

She nodded eagerly and followed him to their bedroom, sitting on the bed to wait for him to get change on the bathroom, grinning widely. He returned to the room and chuckled at her face, getting into the bed and motioning to her follow him. Lying together, he put his arms around her waist and she placed her head on his shoulder and a hand on his chest. Looking up to him, she smiled and brushed her lips on his jaw. "Thank you Aaron".

"You're welcome". He said smiling, planting a sweet kiss on her forehead. Quickly sleep caught them, both secured on each other's arms and knowing that they could try to make this work and they wouldn't or either couldn't just give up.

 **A/N: Next chapter I'd like to put another flashback, maybe his first memory? What do you think? Help me! What should I put in?**


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: Oh my God, it's been so long and I am so so so sorry. I promise you that the next chapter won't take it so long. This is the morning after and we just finalized the first phase of this story. Next chapter we'll follow them on the second phase, where Emily will help Aaron to remember their love for each other and he'll learn to love her again. We'll have some fluffy, some angst, some drama on the way. Please, keep sending the reviews, they make me so happy.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own them.**

Chapter 11

Emily woke up just after 7 and immediately was intoxicated by the most amazing smell of the world. Aaron. She felt his strong arms holding her by the waist, one of his hands holding her knee up on his hip and the other sneaked inside her t-shirt, pressed at the small of her back. She felt a smile start to play on her lips as she remembered the night before and how he had asked her to sleep with him. She honestly thought that she would spend a lot of time until be able to do this again. Hell, there was a part of her that was terrified that she would never be able to hold him again.

But her she was, securely on his arms and it was like the first time she had woken up to him. She closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him, remembering how wonderful that first time was.

 _They had gone to a bar with the team after they left the BAU to celebrate her return. She spend the whole night dancing with the girls and then with him, holding him close and feeling him trail kisses down her cheeks, jaw and neck all the time and whisper how much he loved her and how much he had missed her. They weren't shy because of the team and she was glad by that because it showed to her how much he was serious about his feelings and how much he didn't want to hide their love from their family._

 _They left the bar by 11 and went to his apartment since she didn't have one because hers was sold when she had died and she still didn't have the time to look for one. Despite of her comment earlier, both of them where too much exhausted to think about anything besides sleep, so they just got ready to bed and snuggled close to each other, whispering their love and fallen into a peaceful sleep quickly._

 _She was the first one to wake up. The light was dim through the curtains and she could feel the steady breathing of the man beside her on her neck. She snuggled more closely to him and felt his hand tighten involuntarily on her waist, making her smile. After seven months of hiding, knowing that a sociopath was out there and any moment could found the truth and hunt her down to try to kill her again, all this time she couldn't sleep, she couldn't feel safe, she couldn't even breathe properly. And now she didn't remember a time where she felt this secure. Ever._

 _She turned around to look at his face. She had never seen him so peaceful. There wasn't a single wrinkle on his face and his mouth was curved on a sweet smile that made her heart skip. She traced his cheek with the tip of her fingers and watched his smile widen and she couldn't help but lean up to kiss him lightly. As she pulled back she saw his eyes fluttering open and his smile turn into a grin. "Good morning handsome"._

 _"_ _Hmm. I could get use to this… Good morning gorgeous". He said leaning to give her another kiss. They kissed for several moments, enjoying the presence of the other until a low growl was heard from Emily's stomach. "I'd take you're hungry?"_

 _She blushed and giggled, looking down to his chest. "Yeah, I haven't really eaten properly lately"._

 _His smile faded a little at the thought of how much she had suffered during this time hiding from Doyle. Looking into her eyes he brushed his palm against her cheek giving her a lovingly smile. "I can only imagine what you must had been through these past months and God, how I wish that you didn't have to suffer anything but I promise you, I swear to you that I'll protect you from now on, that I'll cherish you and take care of you and I will love you for the rest of my life". He said firmly._

 _She felt the tears tricking on her eyes and smiled back at him. "I love you too. I love you so much, Aaron"._

 _"_ _I love you more. Now let's feed you". He said getting up and taking her with him._

"Hey". She startled by his husky voice and looked up to find him staring at her. "Where did you go?"

She smiled. "I was remembering the first time I woke up in your arms. I had never felt so safe".

He smiled back at her and savored the feeling of her body pressed against his. He had woken a little after talk to her and stayed staring at her face, her smile as if she was dreaming and her cheeks a little flushed, her hair messed up. He could smell her skin and hair and smiled at the scent of strawberries that invaded his nose. "Come up here". He asked pulling her up to lay on top of him and brought her mouth to his in a deep and hard kiss, letting their both breathless. She could feel his morning reaction right against her thigh and couldn't avoid brushing it a little, trailing open mouthed kisses down his jaw and neck, eliciting a low moan from him. She felt his fingers digging deep into her hip, then going lower, to the curve of her ass and pressed her hard against him. One hand came to cup the back of her head and brought her mouth back to his, plunging his tongue deep inside making her growl.

All thoughts had flew out of his mind until a single flash came, making his head pound. He pulled away from her abruptly and put both his hands on his head, shutting his eyes tightly, while the flashes kept coming. There was Emily, her mouth was open partly and her head was thrown back, her eyes shut and her breath elaborated. She was beneath him and he was feeling her legs wrapped around his waist and her walls contracting against him in, he thrusting into her in an agonizing pace before he quicken his pace and her eyes shot open, his name falling from her lips in a moan, her whole body shaking in pleasure. She kept saying his name over and over between moans and whimpers. Her voice became more urgent and then he opened his eyes to find her looking at him worriedly.

"Aaron? Aaron, are you okay? Babe, talk to me?" She urged.

"I'm fine". He assured her. "I'm fine". He saw her face relax a bit but still could see her apprehensive eyes. "I just saw you". He stated with a smile.

"What?" She asked confused.

"I saw you. Underneath me, your face contorted in pleasure, your whole body shaking and your walls clapped against me in such a delicious way". He said huskily, his pupils dilated with lust, his hands roaming around her back beneath her t-shirt.

Her eyes widened and her lips erupted in a grin. "You mean like a memory? You remembered?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure that my imagination isn't that good so I think I'll go with a memory, yes". He answered smiling at her. She kissed him hard and grinded against him making him growl deeply. He pulled back, breathing heavily. "Okay, as much as this is good and that memory made me feel some things and react, as you can surely feel" he empathized with a bucked of his hips "we can't do anything for the same reasons we couldn't last night. So how about we slow things down and go downstairs to make some breakfast and decide what we'll do until we go pick up our boy on school?"

"Okay, I know. I'm just so happy". She said with tears in her eyes. He remembered! He finally remembered something and she felt as if her heart was going to explode into her chest.

"I'm happy too, sweetheart". He felt her frozen and heard she let out a sob, the tears falling down on her cheeks. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing. Everything is perfect. Please, say it again. Say it again" She pleaded with a pained smile.

"Oh sweetheart". He smiled, leaning in to give her a sweet kiss. It was so incredible the devotion he could see in her eyes every time she looked at him. Even if he didn't feel the same yet he couldn't be indifferent. He'd never had been loved so deeply by anyone. And it was such a good feeling. A feeling that he didn't want to give up. "I don't know what I did to deserve you. I don't know what you saw in me, what a woman like you could have seen in a man like me. But I plead you. Don't give up on us. I… I don't know how things will work out for us. I don't know if I'll be able to correspond your feelings, but God, I want it so bad. I want to cherish you and love you like you deserve and I want to make this right, to make this work. I'm trying, I'm really trying Emily, I want you to know that. I'm already obviously attracted to you. I think I've always been, I mean, you're absolutely gorgeous. But I want to learn to love you, like you said last night. I want to learn what you like and dislike. I want to know you. And I'm asking you to help me, to help me to build us again, even stronger, together".

"I promise. I promise. I love you so much Aaron. I can't live without you". She said kissing him again, a kiss filled with love and acceptance, of promises and commitment. She was already convinced to get her husband back and now with his request she knew it that she would make it. She would never give up on him.

 **A/N: Are you guys still reading this? Should I go on?**


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N: Ow, you guys are amazing! Thank you so much for all your reviews, they made me very happy. Please, keep sending your feedback because I need it to help me figure it out where to take this story. My next update will be based on the number of reviews. If you want it to be fast like this one, give the review button a little click and let me know what you think!**

Chapter 12

They went downstairs and made breakfast together, smiling and stealing sweet kisses from each other. They sat at the table to eat scramble eggs with bacon, making small talk about their plans for the day. "I was thinking… would you like to see some photo albums today? Maybe it'd be good for your memory…" Emily asked.

"That would be great, actually. When do we have to go pick up Jack?" He asked while putting the dishes on the sink.

"Not until 4. C'mon. I'll pick up the albums and we'll cuddle on the couch". She said giving him a kiss on his jaw before going upstairs. He smiled at her and went to the living room to wait for her. He sat on the couch and closed his eyes thinking about the last twenty-four hours. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this happy. From what he remembered his life was so focused on his job, on the BAU, on serial killers that, with the exception of Jack, he didn't have any desire to do anything else.

After Haley abandoned him he swore to himself that he wouldn't open up to anyone ever again because he convinced himself that he wasn't meant to love or be loved. With the job he did it was impossible to find someone willing to understand him and his need to save people. For Haley it was always a hero complex that destroyed his family and his marriage, making her giving up on him.

She didn't understand how much it was important to him to make the difference in this world, how much it was important to him to go out there and stop the bad guys, save lives, help to give closure to the family's victims and prevent that any others suffer too for some psychopath's delusion. She only wanted the perfect husband, the perfect father. She wasn't interest on his demons, on his nightmares. He couldn't talk to her about anything because she didn't allow to him bring the BAU inside their home.

She hated his job. She hated Agent Aaron Hotchner. She hated a part of him that he couldn't turn it off. He didn't want to turn it off. He knew that if he did he would feel miserable, incomplete, failed.

But now, on this marriage, with that brunette upstairs, he could be himself. As she told him before, she had fallen for Hotch, stoic, cold, hard-ass, stubborn. She had fallen for the man he really was and she accepted him completely. She embraced him with all his flaws, all his mistakes. She made him feel alive. She made him feel lovable, worth it. She made him feel whole. And it was such a good feeling.

"Hey, you okay?" He opened his eyes at her sweet voice and found her looking at him with a box on her hands. She put the box on the coffee table and sat beside him. "What you were thinking?"

"Haley". He said simply and saw her face fell.

"Oh". Haley? _Shit_. Well, he was the Hotch of six years ago so it really shouldn't surprise her. But it didn't hurt any less. "I see… well, that's normal, really… I mean, for you, you just lost her and it's normal to miss her…" She stammered trying her best to avoid his eyes.

He saw her struggling and couldn't help but smile. She was so cute. "Emily…"

"It took you some time to come to terms with what happened and it's okay, really. I know you still loved her…"

"Emily…"

"Or love her, since you're you from the past. And it's fine, I swear…"

"Emily…"

"I know that you miss her and I'm sorry for what happened…"

"Emily!" He said forcefully to make her stop talking. She looked at him with wide eyes and he could see the tears forming already. He smiled at her, took her face in his hands and leaned in to give her a kiss. "I was thinking about how much all of this it's different from our marriage. How much you accept me the way I am, all my flaws and defects and how much you love me so deeply. I never had someone so devoted to me Emily. Haley didn't love me for who I am. She didn't want the Hotch, the agent full of demons and she could never understand how I woke up during the night, all sweaty and scared because of a nightmare after a gruesome case. I was thinking about how good it is to finally be able to be myself and have someone who is by my side and love me for who I am. You have no idea what this means to me".

"Oh". She said pathetically.

"Yeah. Oh". He said smiling at her. "You're cute when you're nervous, you know that?" She blushed and he chuckled, giving her another kiss. "And Emily, no, I don't love her anymore. I am and I think I will be forever sorry for what happened because she didn't deserve that. But I'm not in love with her anymore. She left me. She shattered me. She made me believe that I was not worth it, that I was the only one to blame for our failed marriage even though she was the one who started to look for someone else while we were still together".

"She was stupid". She answered. She still couldn't believe how she could have cheat on him. It was true that things were difficult and he worked a lot and passed so many days out but that didn't give her the right to betray him this way. "But I'm glad because she couldn't see how wonderful and caring and sweet you are and she let you go, giving me the opportunity to find you and live my own fairytale with the love of my life".

"Right. So, I think I was promised some cuddle and some memories so come here and let me see those albums. Help me to remember our life". He said laying on the couch and bringing her to rest on his chest.

"Okay. We should start from the beginning. Good think I organized the albums chronologically". She said picking up the first album and heard him chuckle. "What's funny?"

"Nothing. I just remembered that you were a nerd with OCD". He answered chuckling and she poked him on his ribs. "Ow! Hey, I'm injured, remember?"

"I'll show you what an injure is if you don't stop mocking me". She said opening the album. The first picture was one of them on a park, she was sitting in front of him and he was holding her from behind, his hands securely wrapped around her waist and his chin was resting on her shoulder. They both were smiling widely and there was a blanket on the ground and a small basket beside them. "This was our first picture together. It was a picnic with the team and the boys. We had just got back from a case and Garcia decided that we needed a day of fun. And it was. We play baseball with the boys and we laugh and talk about anything but the job. It was Garcia who took this picture, I can easily see the moment yet".

 _They were watching Jack and Henry playing with Morgan, Will and Kevin. She was sitting between his legs and his arms were holding her close by her waist. He started to kiss her neck and shoulders, his fingers tracing lines on her arms that were linked with his, and she leaned her head to rest on his shoulder._

 _He brought his lips to her ear and took her earlobe between his teeth and nipped softly, making her shiver. He tightened his grip on her waist and whispered on her ear. "You make me the happiest man on earth". She smiled and turned her head to look at him and took his lips with hers on a sweet kiss._

 _"_ _You make me happy too. More than I ever was in my life"._

 _"_ _Move in with me". He said seriously._

 _"_ _What?" She asked with wide eyes. They were together for almost five months and she already spent the most of her time on his apartment but hearing him actually asking her to move in was so good._

 _"_ _Move in with me Emily. I want to be with you all the time and actually I know that I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Move in with me, please?"_

 _"_ _Of course. Of course I will. I love you, Aaron". She said with a grin and kissed him again, more forceful and he responded with just as much passion. They were interrupted with a loud "aww" and turned to see Garcia looking at them with a wide smile._

 _"_ _Ohmygosh, you two are so cute! I have to take a picture!" She said reaching for her camera on her bag. They smiled at her and she took the picture with another "aww", making everyone laugh. "I'm serious, I never thought I would put the words boss-man and cute on the same sentence but here I am and you two are so damn cute!"_

 _"_ _I'm not sure how I feel about being called cute too Garcia but thanks". Hotch said smiling._

"That's a good memory". He said looking at their smiley faces.

"Yes, it is. We moved in together the next weekend".

"We moved here already?" He asked.

"No, no. We just moved here after our wedding. I moved to your apartment because it was bigger". She said.

They spent the next few hours going through the album, looking at pictures of them, of them with Jack and with the team. She told him every story behind every picture and he was mesmerized by her way to tell him their life together in such a passionate way. They paused to make lunch by noon, but she continued to tell him little stories about them, some trip they made it together, a few dates they had, a few cases they work together when she still was at the BAU, etc.

They were having lunch when they started to talk about Jack. "When he started to call you mom?" He asked.

She smiled at the memory. "Oh, it was after we were already engaged. We were living together for a year and you had proposed two months before and we were at the living room talking about the wedding. And he came and asked what would change when we got married. I said that nothing much, just that we would move somewhere bigger and with a backyard for him to play and my last name would be Hotchner as you guys. Then he asked me if it would mean that I was going to be his mother. I remember that for a moment I didn't know how to breathe. I was petrified and I look at you and you were just as speechless as me".

"And what did you answer?"

"I said that I wasn't going to replace his mother ever but that I would be his step-mother because I was going to be his father's wife. And he asked me if he had to call me mom. I said that he didn't, that he could call me whatever he wanted and that I would always love him, no matter what. And he said that he wanted to call me mom because I took care of him and did things that moms did and I made you happy. I remember that I cried like a baby". She laughed and he chuckled.

"He does love you very much". He stated.

"And I love him more than anything. He's my everything. You two are".

He smiled at her and looked down, a question that he wanted to do since the first day bugging his mind. "We never… we never thought about having another baby?"

He saw her smile fade and a few tears polling on her eyes. "We did…" She whispered.

He took her hand and squeezed it, feeling that there was more to tell. "What happened?"

"I got pregnant right after we got back from our honeymoon. We were so happy. We started to talk about names and think about the nursery…" She let out a sob. "I lost it. When I was with almost sixteen weeks".

"Oh sweetheart". He got up and knelt in front of her taking her in his arms while she sobbed. "I am so sorry". He could feel the tears forming on his eyes too at the thought of losing a child. He couldn't imagine how hard it was for Emily.

"We were starting to talk about try again before the accident. I mean, I'm almost 42 and with the two abortions my chances are very slim". She sniffed.

"I unders…" Wait. "Two abortions?" He asked with a frown. He saw her eyes widening. "What do you mean by two abortions Emily?"

 _Crap._ Well, there was another secret. "Ah… when I was fifteen I got pregnant. I didn't know what to do. My mom would kill me if she found out. The father didn't want anything with it. A friend found a doctor in Rome. He stood by my side all the time". She said with a small voice, not quite meeting his eyes.

Oh. There was something knew and unexpected. "I understand". He said with a nod. Seeing that she still wasn't looking at him he squeezed her hand. "Hey, I don't judge you Emily. You were a kid, I understand that you were scared. When this whole situation gets better we'll talk about this again okay?"

"Okay. Thank you". She said leaning in to give him a kiss. They got back to the living room after doing the dishes and continued to talk about their memories until it was time to go pick Jack. During all the time Hotch kept observing Emily and the way she talked about their lives together and couldn't help but think that it was indeed a very good life and he would do and give anything to remember.


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N: Oh my God you guys are amazing. I can't explain to you how happy I am. One hundred reviews! Wow. Just, wow. I confess that when I started this I never expected so much response from you guys. I can't thank you enough. This makes me really happy and proudy of this job. This chapter is a conversation between Hotch and Dave, just because I love their friendship. Oh, and another flashback.**

 **Just to clarify, I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding. The two abortions that I mentioned on the last chapter I meaned the first one in Rome when she was fifteen and the second actually is the miscarriage of their baby after the honeymoon. Sorry for the trouble.**

 **Oh and just another thing. I just watched the 11x16 (Derek) and I have to say, it's one of the best episodes I've seen on the show. Those who didn't watch yet, please do it. It's incredible, I cried from the beginning to end. And of course, it was directed by the amazing, incredible, fantastic, fabulous and delicious Thomas Gibson, so...**

 **But here is the 13th chapter! Hope you like it! Let a review!**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own them.**

Chapter 13

The next day the family was eating breakfast on the kitchen. Emily had to return to work that day but she didn't like the idea of leaving him alone. "Are you sure you'll be okay Aaron?"

He looked up from his plate and smiled at the anxious face of his wife. They already had this discussion the night before and before breakfast. "Yes Emily, I'll be fine. Because of my coma I spent the hardest part of my recover on the hospital so I don't have any stiches and the pain is almost gone completely. And I promise that I'll be just resting on the couch watching TV until you come back okay?"

She sighed, knowing that he was right. "Okay. My class it's until noon so I'll be home by 1 okay? Don't worry about lunch; I'll fix something for us when I got back".

"Okay Em". He said shaking his head with a chuckle. Just as they were putting the dishes on the sink the doorbell rang. "I'll answer".

"Jack, go brush your teeth and pick your bag because we have to go". Emily instructed the boy who went upstairs. "Who is it Aaron?"

"It's me Bellissíma." She heard Dave's voice and turned with a smile.

"Hey Dave, what a surprise!" She said hugging him.

"Yeah, we got back yesterday from that case and we took the day off so I thought about making a visit".

"And you couldn't have come on a better time Dave". He turned to Emily with raised eyebrows. "So, now that I have a babysitter to make me company you think you can go to work?"

"You think you're funny". She glared at his smirk. "Dave, please don't let him do anything other than sit his butt on that couch until I come back".

"Don't worry sweetheart. Go to work". Dave said reassuring her.

"Okay. Jack, are you ready baby?" She called.

"Yes mom". The boy came downstairs.

"Good, say bye to daddy and Uncle Dave". He hugged both men and went to the car. She turned back to Hotch and smiled at him. "Bye, take care". She leaned in to give him a peck on his lips but he cupped the back of her head and circled her waist with his other arm to press her on his torso and gave her a fiercer kiss. She hummed on his mouth when the parted and grinned at him. "Is like this that you want me to go?"

He chuckled and let her go, watching her got into the car and leave. Turning around he met Dave's grinning face and looked down blushing slightly. "I'd take things are much better". He commented.

Hotch chuckled and directed them towards the living room. "Yeah, I mean, I'm trying you know".

"I noticed. And it's good Aaron, it's very good".

"I know. She is amazing, she really loves me you know. She's completely devoted to me and Jack and it is something that I've never seen. I mean, with Haley I've always felt that I wasn't good enough, that I was doing something wrong. But with Emily, she loves me so unconditionally that it really scares me". He confessed to his friend.

"Believe me Aaron, I know. We all do. We've seen during these years how much she adores you and how much you adore her".

"It's… it's easy. She really doesn't give me another option. And she is absolutely gorgeous. Like, seriously the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Especially without any make up and with some loose t-shirt… my t-shirt". He chuckled with the older profiler.

"I think you're starting to see why you fell in love with her, my friend". Dave said.

"I think you're right". He agreed.

"And you didn't remember anything yet? With the routine and the environment I thought it would help". Dave asked and saw the man shift awkwardly on the couch. "What? Did you remember?"

Hotch remembered the flash he had the morning before and cleared his throat. "Yeah, I kind of had a flashback…"

"That's great Aaron!" He saw the odd look on his face and frowned. "It isn't a good thing?" Hotch continued to avoid his eyes and he saw a blush starting to appear on his face. "Oh God, what did you remember?" He chuckled.

"It's not of your business Dave". He said.

"Really Aaron? That's the first thing you remember?" He laughed.

"You said yourself, the routine and environment contribute…" He said shyly.

"You mean you two already…" He asked with wide eyes.

"No, no, we didn't. But honestly? I think it's just because I'm not cleared yet". He answered truthfully.

Dave hesitated a little before open his mouth. "Look Aaron, I think it's great that you're trying to make it work with her and starting to remember but… please, be careful. As you said before she really loves and adores you. You have too much power on your hands so be careful with your decisions because you can hurt her badly".

"I'm aware of that Dave. But honestly, as my mom used to say to me, the better way to fall in love with someone is allowing yourself to be loved. And that's what I'm doing. I'm opening myself to her. I'm trying hard to make her happy, to make her smile. I took her out on a date on Valentine's and it was so good Dave. She is so amazing. I can see myself falling for her, even if I never remember anything. She makes my life easier, prettier".

"You just made me remember of something you said to me on your wedding day". Dave commented.

"What did I say?"

 _Dave opened the door of the waiting room were Hotch was and smiled at the sight of his nervous friend. "I think I never saw you so terrified, Aaron". He chuckled._

 _Hotch turned to him with a smile on his face. "I'm not terrified. I'm anxious, excited, happy, delighted, take your pick. I can believe this is happening Dave". He grinned at the older man._

 _"_ _Yeah, you two had a very long walk until here. Remember when you didn't want her on your team? At least the guys say that you used to hate her". He chuckled._

 _"_ _I didn't hate her. I just… didn't trust her"._

 _"_ _And now?"_

 _"_ _Now? Now I trust her with my life and my son's and our happiness. She is the light of my day Dave. She is the reason I'm still sane. I can't imagine my life without her smile, without her laugh, her touch, her taste… She's my everything. And I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make her at least one percent of how much she makes me"._

"You were the goofiest man on earth that day". Dave said getting up and taking a frame that was on the shelf above the TV, giving it to Hotch. It was the picture that Emily said it was her favorite. And she was right. His eyes were looking at her as if they were looking at the most exquisite human being on the planet. And her smile was so bright, so full of love and care, so devoted to the man in front of her. "I remember you said that she made you feel alive. That she took all your demons away. That she made you a better person. And that you never thought you would be so lucky to find someone so wonderful like her".

Hotch listened the words of his friend and continued to look at the picture with a smile on his face. Suddenly he felt the same pressure on his head that he felt the day before and quickly placed the frame on the coffee table before putting his hands on his head again. He closed his eyes and grunted at the excruciating pain on his hand and started to see a few flashes of a very white light, at first unfocused, and then could identify Emily's face, very likely the picture he was looking. She was dressed on a white dress and she was smiling to him with tears polling on her eyes. He could hear himself saying something to her and focused on the words.

 _"_ _Emily, I never thought, after everything I've been through, that I was going to have the opportunity to fall in love again, let a least get married again. I know we didn't have the best start and that's most because of my stubbornness. But you have no idea how grateful I am for the present that was your appearance in my life. You, with your laugh and your bright personality, brought the happiness that I didn't believe still could have in my life. Your love showed me every single what purity is, what altruism is, because you love me so unconditionally all the time, even when I don't deserve it, and you taught me that I'm worth it. You help me to believe in myself. You make me a better person. I know I couldn't have chosen a better woman to share the rest of my days with and help me to raise my son and how many other God allows us to have. And I promise you to love you and cherish you and take care of you every second of every day for the rest of my life because you saved me from my darkness and you made me believe in love and life again. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone"._

He heard someone calling his name over and over and opened his eyes to see Dave's worried face in front of him. "Aaron? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just had a flashback". He said sitting straight.

"Really, what did you remember? It's NC-17 too?" He teased.

"My wedding vows". He said looking up and smiling. "You're right. You're all right. I do love her more than anything. And she does make me happier than I've ever been".

Dave smiled at him warmly and patted his back. "I'm glad you realized that my friend".

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

It was almost one-thirty when Emily killed the engine in front of her house. She got inside and called for her husband. "Aaron? Babe, I'm home". She waited for a response but got none. She thrown her keys on the keychain and went to call for him again when she saw him descending the stairs. "Hey, I'm sorry I'm late but I had to solve some things with another teacher and I lost the…"

He cut her mid-sentence pulling her into his embrace and capturing her lips with his in a deep and long kiss. She startled for a second but quickly gave into his arms and kissed him back, opening her mouth to him and shivering at the contact with his tongue. She pressed herself against him and moaned lowly, gripping his hair in her fists. They kissed for several minutes until he pulled away breathlessly, still holding her close, with a wide grin on his swollen lips. "Hey back".

"Ow, if I'm going to get this every time I got home I think I'm going to leave more frequently". She joked, still panting.

"I had another flashback". He announced and saw her face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"You did? Oh my God, what did you remember?" She asked excitedly.

"Our wedding, my vows". He said smiling.

"Oh honey…" She felt a tear falling on her cheek. She was so happy. Two memories in two days.

"You were so beautiful and I was so happy. You make me happy, Emily". He declared.

She let out a sob and hugged him tightly. "You make me happy too, babe".

 **A/N: Pleaseee, if you let a review it won't take me so long to update! :)**


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello there! Thank you all for the reviews, you guys are the best! New chapter, some angst between our favorite couple. Their fist fight! Hope you all like it!**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own CM.**

Chapter 14

The rest of the week passed quickly at the Hotchner's. Emily went back to work full time but she always made enforce to be home for lunch. At Friday morning they were eating breakfast together when she remembered that he had a follow up at the hospital that afternoon. "Oh, I almost forgot, we have to go to the hospital this afternoon to run some tests and talk to your doctor".

"That's right. I can call my mom and see if she could take me". He offered but she shook her head.

"Absolutely not. I'll take you. I'll work until 1, then I'll come home and make us lunch and after that we go to the hospital okay?"

"But Emily, you already spent more than two weeks when I was on the hospital and then released… I don't want you to get in trouble". He argued.

"They know the situation and they're supportive since the beginning. And stop arguing, I'm taking you to the hospital and end of discussion".

He got up and shook his head with an amused smile. "You know, I used to be the boss of you, not the other way around".

She got up and walked towards him with a grin, wrapping her arms around his waist. "At the BAU, darling. Here, on this house, on this marriage? I'm the boss. Get used to it". She slapped his butt and left to get her purse upstairs leaving him chuckling at the kitchen.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

At 3 pm the couple was parking on the hospital to Hotch's appointment. They went to the reception and were directed to the waiting room. Hotch was taken to take some blood for tests and made an x-ray and MRI. He returned to the waiting room and sat with Emily to wait for the results. After almost thirty minutes they were called in.

"Mr. Hotchner, how are you feeling?" The doctor asked.

"I'm feeling okay, no pain or discomfort". He answered truthfully.

"Good, I can see in your exams that everything seems fine. Your wounds are healing fast and there isn't any residual of the brain swelling. What about your memory?"

"I got a couple of flashbacks already". He said. After the memory of his wedding vows he hadn't had any other flashbacks. It frustrated him.

"He felt a strong pain on his head when he had the flashes. Is it normal?" Emily asked worriedly.

"Yes, it's normal Mrs. Hotchner, don't worry". The doctor assured her. "And I'm glad that your memory is coming back so soon Mr. Hotchner. I know cases where it takes months, even years to remember something. Sometimes they never do. This indicates that sooner or later you'll be able to remember everything. I just want you to come back monthly so we can monitor the swelling and see if everything continues okay".

He nodded. "So I'm okay to go back to my routine? Can I go out and play with my son? Maybe go back to work on desk duty?" He asked hopefully.

"You can play with your son, go out with your wife, you're cleared even for sex, taking easy of course". He said and smiled at the blush on the couple's cheeks. "But for work I'll give you two more weeks off. Then you can go back to desk duty, no traveling yet. Maybe after a month".

"Okay". He nodded resigned. He was expecting for that already.

They thanked the doctor and left the room. Emily turned to him. "I know you're tired of being home but you have to be patient and wait until the doctor gives you the all clear".

"I know. I'm going to the bathroom for a minute okay?"

"Yeah, I'll wait for you here".

He nodded and left her on the reception. After a few moments she heard her phone ringing. She saw the ID and smile, going to the hallway to answer. "Hey Anna".

"Hello sweetheart. I'm trying to call you and Aaron for a while". Her mother-in-law said.

"I'm sorry An, we're at the hospital and the reception here is awful".

"What happened?" She asked worried.

"Nothing, we just came for Aaron's exams. Everything is fine but he gave him another two weeks off before going back to work on desk duty".

"Oh, that's good darling. He needs a time-off. It's been so long since he had a vacation".

"Tell me about it. I think the last time was on our honeymoon. Even weekends off are rare…"

"I know baby. You want me to pick Jack at school? It's almost 4".

"Oh, that would be great Anna, thank you. We would probably be late to pick him".

"No problem honey. I'm close to his school right now anyway".

"Okay, you stay with us for dinner?"

"Sure, if there's no problem".

"Absolutely. See you soon An". Emily hung up the phone and turned around to look for Aaron. She found him coming out of the bathroom's corridor as she was coming back to the reception. "Hey honey. Anna called. She's picking Jack at school and then will stay with us for dinner". She said smiling at him.

"Good, I was thinking that we'd be late to pick him. Let's go home then". He nodded leading her to the exit.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Emily was looking through the refrigerator when she heard Hotch's voice coming from the living room. "Hey, there's a message at the answer machine".

"It's probably from Anna. She said she had tried to call us before". She said entering the room. But as the beep of the machine went it wasn't her mother-in-law's voice that came.

 _"_ _Emily darling, it's so hard to talk to you lately. This good married woman's life took away some of your spark, love of mine"._ A very familiar British voice spoke making her grin. _"I'm coming to DC in two weeks and I need to see your gorgeous self. And I'm warning you, I want my Prentiss back for one night, not this Hotchner boring lady. Prepare yourself. Love you, babe"._

Emily chuckled at the end of the message, shaking her head at her friend's words.

"Who is this?" She looked up to find at very unpleased Hotch staring back at her.

"Oh, it's Clyde". She said shrugging.

"And exactly who the hell is this Clyde person?" He asked sharply.

Taking aback with his tone she frowned. "It's a friend of mine that I don't see in a couple of years".

"A friend from where Emily? And which type of friend?" He asked even more sharply.

"He was the leader of my team on the Interpol. And I do not like your tone with me Aaron". She said.

"And I don't appreciate some random British guy calling to my house to sex phone with my wife!" He raised his voice.

"What? Are you insane?" She shouted. "You have no right to talk to me like this. He's my friend! I know him for more than sixteen years!"

"Oh, so he's an old booty call? Tell me Emily; is this a regular practice of you? Sleeping with your boss? Clyde, myself, who else is on this list? I thought you just had a thing for terrorists…" He asked with venom on his voice and saw her face darken. Two seconds later he felt the sharp pain on his left cheek, caused by her hand.

"I don't admit you talk to me like I'm a whore, you have no right!" She shouted before running upstairs.

He stood on the living room and sighed. He was so pissed and so jealous that he didn't think before spitting the words on her face. He knew he had gone too far. Running a hand through his hair he turned to go after her when the front door opened. "Hey dad!"

He saw Jack coming and his mother behind. "Hey buddy". He greeted the boy who hugged him. "Hey mom". He looked up to Anna.

"Hey sweetheart". She saw the dark look on his face and frowned. "Everything is okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine". He tried to smile but knew that he hadn't succeeded. Before she could ask him further Emily came downstairs. When he looked at her he saw that her eyes were a little red, despite from her attempt to avoid looking at him.

"Hey babe, hey Anna". She smiled to them. Jack gave her a hug and she turned to her mother-in-law, taking her purse and coat. "I'm sorry but I have to do some errands right now. I won't be long. I'll bring dinner with me, how about Chinese?"

"It's fine by me darling. Are you okay, sweetie?"

"Yes, An. I'm fine. I'll be right back okay". She said leaving the house without even a look towards Hotch.

Anna looked back at her son and saw his sad eyes eyeing the front door. "Aaron, what happened?"

He looked around to see if Jack was near but saw the boy already entertained at the couch watching TV. He turned to his mother and sighed. "I fucked up".

Anna nodded to the kitchen. "Okay, let's have a talk".

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Emily drove through streets she didn't even know, her eyes burning and her heart clenching. How could he say those things to her? _I thought you just had a thing for terrorists_. His words hurt like a knife wound. Her head pounded and she lost the fight against the tears when a sob escaped from her mouth.

She parked her car in front of a grocery store and let the tears and sobs consume her. Was he right? It was her worse fear. She had her own problems with the whole Doyle thing. She had accepted to sleep with a terrorist for a job. That was the truth. Did that make her a whore? A cheap, filth slut who didn't deserve respect?

His voice floated her ears over and over. He really thought that of her? She thought he understood her reasons to do this assignment. She honestly thought that he didn't condemn her for her actions. But now? Now she knew that her husband saw her as a whore that slept with a sociopath for a profile.

She leaned her forehead on the steering wheel and sobbed harder. How could she stay with someone who thinks so little of her? What she was going to do now?

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Hotch finished the story to his mother, his head downcast, ashamed of what he had said. "Aaron, how could you say those things to her?"

"I know, I know, mom. But I was so… so pissed, so furious, so jealous. He called her babe, love, darling… He said he wanted _his_ Prentiss back for one night. I just saw red. I didn't think. And when she defended him… I lost it". He sighed defeated.

"Babe, I've met Clyde, he came to your wedding… he speaks like this with everyone. He's just a typical British guy, charming and gallant". She argued with him.

"I know that now! But I don't remember! I don't remember meeting him! I just heard some guy with British accent calling my wife his love! And I, stupid, rather than listen to her just accused her of being a… God, I practically said she was a whore in her face. She'll never forgive me…" He said burying his head on his hands.

"Of course she will darling. But you have to apologize properly with her. You have to make her see that you only said these things in the heat of the moment. Because right now she's out there thinking the most horrendous things about herself and thinking that you see her as something she was always afraid of people seeing her".

"But I don't. I swear I don't. I think she's the most amazing human being I've ever met. I have to fix this mom. I… I need her… I can believe it but I need her so much".

She looked at his desperate face and softened her eyes, smiling at him. "You're falling in love with her, aren't you?"

He looked at her for a few seconds, thinking about it, before realizing the truth. "I already fell, hard. I'm in love with her, mom".

"Then tell her, sweetheart. I think it's a good start for making it up to her". He nods to her and closed his eyes, praying to God that he'd be able to fix this, and soon.

 **A/N: So? He said he loves her! YAY! Now, how he'll make it up to her? It'll be easy? I'm up to sugestions! Please, pretty please, let a review! Maybe I'll post the new chapter tomorrow :)**


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hey, I'm back. Thank you for the reviews! Here is the part two of their first fight. Will he be able to make it up to her? We're reaching the end of this fic. We have only a handful of chapters left, plus an Epilogue. Here is Chapter 15. Hope you like it!**

Chapter 15

Emily entered her house two hours later. She had stopped on a little Café to clean up her face and try to easy the redness from her crying. She heard the sound of the cartoons on the TV and glanced at her son watching it on the couch, completely oblivious about what was happening between his parents. Most of the time she was out she spent thinking about how any decision she'd make would affect her boy. He had already passed through a divorce before and even if he doesn't remember much he had been affected directly by it.

That aside from the fact that he had already lost a mother so if she wouldn't able to fix this or allow Hotch to fix it, since it was his mistake, the young boy would suffer the absence of another mother because she knew that Hotch would be the primary guardian of him.

That moment she had opened her eyes and stared at the steering wheel with wide eyes. She was seriously considering divorcing from Aaron? God, no. She couldn't. She just couldn't. The idea of living without him and Jack was just so unbearable that she couldn't even breathe. _But he thinks you're a whore_. She closed her eyes again and sobbed. She knew she didn't want to leave her family but could she forgive him for his words? Could she forgive him for using her deepest wound, her weakest point against her? He had never said something like that to her. On the contrary, he was the one who spent so many nights trying to convince her that her choices about the Vahalla operation had been the right ones, that she didn't have to feel ashamed about doing her job and that she never felt anything for him; it was just a job, a character.

She wanted that man back. That man who always made her feel safe and loved. That man who held her in his arms every night and made her feel the most wanted woman of the entire world. She was just so tired of being the only one holding their relationship up these days. She was so tired of trying to convince her husband that she loved him and that he loved her too. She was just so tired…

She thought and thought about everything they had passed through together, every difficult, every obstacle, everything that threatened their happiness. She thought about all the happy moments they had, every laugh, every family day, every date, every kiss, every 'I love you', every moment they share with love and adoration.

She thought about every fight, every moment they said bad things to each other, every time he made her cry, every time she hurt him badly, every time they hang up on each other, furious about something the other had said. And every time they made up, every time they beg for forgiveness and every time they promised to always fight for each other because the thought about being apart was just terrifying.

He didn't remember those promises but she did. And that was why she had used every compartmentalization skill she had and had tried to close the hurt she felt by his words on her little boxes, to allow her to go back home and manage to look at him again and try to fix this mess.

And now she took a deep breath and approached the kitchen area, where she could hear him talking quietly with his mother, with a small smile on her lips. "I'm back. I brought food, are you guys hungry?"

Hotch's head snapped up with the sound of her voice and he rose from his chair and went to her. "Hey sweetheart". He said taking the bags with food from her hands and placing on the table before taking her in his arms and burying his face on her hair. "I am so sorry Emily. I'm sorry for everything I said, the way I treated you, babe I'm so sorry". He said regretfully to her and she closed her eyes, letting her arms wrap around his waist.

"It's okay Aaron". She said but he pulled back and cupped her face, shaking her head.

"No Emily, it's not okay. I had no right to treat you that way. I was just so blinded by my jealousy that I let it take it over me. I'm sorry for hurting you, for using something so delicate about your life as a way to hit you. I am so sorry". He repeated to her and leaned in to kiss her tenderly on the lips. She winced inwardly at the contact and tried to believe in his apologies, to believe in his regret.

He pulled back and when she opened her eyes she met his painful ones, filled with tears. She saw a little of her Aaron and that helped to easy a little the need of him and the wound he had opened. "I won't say to you that you didn't hurt me because you did, deeply. But I'll try to forget it".

"I don't want to you forget it Emily. I want you to forgive me. Please babe, forgive me. Maybe no right now and I understand that, but try. I need you so much Emily". He leaned his forehead against hers.

She tugged his shirt tightly hearing his words and managed to smile truthfully to him, leaning to close the distance between them. He let his hands to bury into her hair and deepened the kiss, invading her mouth with his tongue and stroking hers and the roof of her mouth. She pressed herself more tightly to him, enjoying the feeling of him as a reaffirmation of their love and their trust on each other. They kissed hungrily in the middle of the kitchen for several minutes, completely forgetting about the boy on the living room and his mother who had exit the room discretely when they started to talk.

They pulled apart breathlessly and he continued to trace kisses over her whole face and down her neck. "You are so beautiful babe. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. My woman, my world…" He pulled apart and looked into her eyes. "I love you Emily. I'm in love with you, sweetheart…" He saw her eyes widening and grinned at her. "It's so good to say this. I love you… I love you…" He repeated between kisses.

"I love you too. Soo much, Aaron…" She whispered to him. Maybe they would fix everything, she thought smiling.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

They ate dinner together with Jack and Anna, the last one grinning from ear to ear at the couple's reconciliation. Soon after she left and they went to their bedtime routine. They sent Jack to bed and went to their room to get ready for sleep. As soon as they were tucked in Hotch brought Emily to his arms, taking her mouth with his and pressing her against his frame.

"You're so damn beautiful…" He said hoarsely into her neck, while giving her open kisses along all skin he could find. Not long after he was covering her body with his, his hands tracing her sides and then sneaking inside her shirt to cup her breasts.

She was trembling beneath his fingers and he smirked against her collarbone. But even so, she was fighting inside. Part of her was dying to have him inside her, to make her lose the ability to speak, to take her to the total bliss and make her feel alive. But other part of her was repeating his earlier words over and over on her head. _Is this a practice of you, sleeping with your boss? I though you just had a thing for terrorists._

"I love you, my Emily…" He said to her ear but she only heard " _You're a whore. Whore. My whore. My whore. My whore"._ Suddenly she pushed him away forcefully.

"No Aaron. I can't". He frowned at her and she straightened herself. "I… I can't…"

"But Emily…"

"No Aaron. Just because the doctor cleared you, you think you can come and take me? I'm not your whore". She said sharply and got out of the bed.

"My what? Emily, wait. I'm sorry… I didn't… I…" He rambled, taken aback by her words.

"You what? Just wanted to see how it was? Because I sleep with everyone and now that you can you want to?" She said raising her voice. She knew she was being irrational and she knew that she should shut up but she just couldn't. His words kept playing on her head like a broken record. "You know what Aaron… I don't think I can forget what you said yet. I can't forgive you yet. I can't… I can't be near you right now. I'll sleep on the other room. Good night".

He watched her go dumbfounded in the middle of the room. "I just wanted to make love to you…" He let out in a broken whisper, cursing himself for his stupidity and for hurting the woman he found himself loving more than anything. He prayed to God to be able to fix this.

 **A/N: I couldn't make it so easy to him! But I promise their reconciliation will be worth it! :) Let a review, pretty please. I plan to post again next Monday but you guys can make me work faster!**


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N: I did it! As promised, here is the new chapter. I must advise, it's heavy angst. Thank you all for the reviews, I really appreciate them! The next one will come on Tuesday, I think. But... as always, if your reviews were pretty good I may post tomorrow. Who knows? :)**

 **Disclaimer: I own Anna.**

Chapter 16

Hotch didn't sleep that night. He tossed around the bed, feeling the emptiness and the cold of the bed without Emily. The sheets, the pillows, the whole place had her smell, her scent. He closed his eyes and breathed heavily. He could see her tear-filled eyes and the pain on her face looking at him. He had used the most hurtful thing about herself against her, to deliberately hurt her, all because of his jealousy. He felt his own eyes pricking with tears and fisted the bed sheets tightly. He was an idiot.

Around two am he gave up and got up, getting out of the room. He passed through the guest room's door and looked at the wood frame. He thought about knocking to talk to her but decided against it. He had done too much today. The least he could do for her was let her sleep peacefully for the night. He continued his way downstairs and went to the living room. As he was passing through the stairs' wall he eyed a photo frame hanging on it. It was one of the first things he noticed when he got in the house when he left the hospital.

It was one of him and Emily kissing with the Eiffel Tower on the background. Emily had told him that it was their honeymoon. They had spent two weeks traveling through Europe. They had passed by France, Italy, Spain, Portugal and Greece. He took the picture out of the wall and looked carefully. He one of his arms around her waist and the other was holding the back of her head. Her arms were linked around his neck and she was on her tiptoes to kiss him. He could see their smiles through the kiss.

He felt a tear rolling down his cheek and held the frame against his chest and closed his eyes. Had he ruined everything? Had he lost the woman who had managed to save him from his darkness? Had he caused another pain to his son, making him loose another mother?

He went to the couch and found the red scarf he had given to her on Valentine's. He wrapped the fabric around his shoulders and breathed her scent, smiling sadly. Laying on the couch he closed his eyes and held the frame tightly, letting the tears fall. He prayed to God for her forgiveness, because in less than two weeks she had become so important and essential for him that he knew for sure that he couldn't live without her anymore.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Emily woke up gasping for breath and with tears falling on her face. She sobbed quietly and sat on the bed hugging her knees on her chest. For the first time in almost four years she had dreamt with Doyle. Ever since she moved in with Aaron and Jack and sleep with him every night, on his arms, feeling his breath on her neck and his arms wrapped around her waist, hearing the beat of his heart on her ear, she hadn't dreamt with the terror she passed on Doyle's hands.

She knew it was because he made her feel safe, secured. She knew it was because he would die before he let anything happen to her. But today he was the one who had caused this dream and it wasn't something she could forget. She tried to think about the sweet words he said to her, how he called her _his Emily,_ how he had said he loved her for the first time in almost a month, but she couldn't.

His words echoed on her mind over and over again because it was something she had spent a very long time to come to terms with. She had made almost two years of therapy, not with the psychiatry the Bureau recommended but with the same one who helped Hotch after Foyet. He was the one who said that she should ask for help when he saw how bad her nightmares were and when he saw that it wasn't for fear of him but because of her own issues towards the mission. It was about all her doubts about either she had done the right thing when she got involved with someone like him.

He had introduced her to his doctor and he had helped her through the whole deal.

And that's why it was so difficult for her to forgive him.

He had become her lifeline, her safe haven. He was the one who soothed her after a nightmare, who wiped her tears and held her until she fell asleep again. And to hear from him that she was some easy woman who slept with everyone and had _a thing_ for a terrorist was too hard.

She got off the bed and left her room, deciding to go downstairs to get some water. As she was passing to the kitchen she saw a par of feet in the end of the couch and frowned. Getting closer she felt her heart sank at the sight in front of her. Her husband was wrapped in her scarf, the scarf he gave her, holding a photo frame tightly against his chest. She looked at the wall to see what picture was missing and saw that it was the one of their honeymoon in France.

She looked at his face and saw that his cheeks were wet.

He had cried himself to sleep.

Emily fought the urge to cuddle with him and soothe his worries like he had done so many times with her. But she couldn't. She couldn't forget just yet. She needed some time to try to come to terms with everything again and erase the tightness on her chest.

Taking a last look at him she blow him a kiss and whispered good night before turning to the stairs and going back to her room, forgetting about the water she wanted before.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Hotch woke up early. His neck and back arched for sleeping on the couch and his head was throbbing for the cry. He sat up and winced at the pain on his whole body. He looked at his hands and smiled at the picture still on his hand. He got up and left the scarf still hanging on his shoulders on the couch and put the frame back on the wall.

He looked at his watch and saw it was just after six. He went upstairs quickly to brush his teeth and got back to the kitchen to make breakfast. He turned on the coffee maker and picked the ingredients to make pancakes, knowing that Emily and Jack would probably be waking any minute to get ready for the day. He was distracted mixing the dough and didn't notice Emily arriving to the kitchen until she greeted him quietly.

"Morning". She whispered and saw him startle. She had slept almost nothing the rest of the night and gave up around five. She sat on her bed and thought about what she would do. Even if she wanted to forgive him she just couldn't just yet. And being near him all the time would just make everything more awkward and worse. So she made a phone call, apologizing for the time, and made a decision. Now she just had to tell him that.

"Morning…" He said quietly, glancing quickly at her before turning back to the mix. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, you?" She lied. He just struggled and turned on the stove to start the pancakes. She took a deep breath and decided to talk to him before Jack woke up. "Aaron?"

He hummed at her. When she didn't say anything he turned to her. "Yes, Em?"

"We need to talk".

He closed his eyes and could already feel the tears starting to poll. He held them back and opened his eyes to hers, and turned off the stove to give all his attention to her. "Okay". He said nodding to the table.

"I think… I think I need a break". She said after a few seconds just opening and closing her mouth soundless.

He couldn't keep the tears back this time. She wanted a break? "What do you mean by a break?" He managed to speak.

"I need to process some things and fix some wounds that were closed but now are open again. And… I don't think I can do this here… with you…" She said quietly and saw his face pale.

"You're… you're leaving?" He choked out.

"Just for a few days. I called Anna and she said I could stay in her guest room for a while". He stared at her and didn't even try to hide the tears in his eyes. He felt one falling followed by another and another and another. He had screwed up. He had broken them. He had hurt her deeply. He had lost her. "Aaron…" She approached him but he shook his head.

"Do you want a… do you…" He just couldn't pronounce the words. "Do you want a divorce?" He asked looking down, not wanting to hear the words or look at her face.

"No". She said forcefully closing the gap between them and taking his head in her hands. "No Aaron, I do not want a divorce. I love you. You and Jack are the reason I wake up every morning. I don't even want to think about living in this world without you".

"But…"

"But I need to let this behind before being able to move on, with you. There are very serious and deep issues that took years for me to understand, with professional help, and I feel I just go back four years. I don't want to make you feel guilty but I don't want to live like that again. I don't want the nightmares, the fears, the doubts; I don't want that anymore Aaron. And I need to forgive myself again for everything I did before I'd be able to forgive you".

He looked at her pained face and broke. He pulled her tight against his chest and sobbed on her neck. "I am so sorry sweetheart. I am so sorry…" He repeated over and over while she soothed him rubbing his back. "I'm an idiot. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve you…"

"You do, you do deserve me baby. I know you didn't want to hurt me. But it's something so deep inside me that affects me too much… I need some time to think, to fix this inside me…" She said pulling back.

He wiped his tears and breathed deeply. "What do I say to Jack?" The boy was too attached to Emily and would feel her absence too much.

"That's why I'm going to Anna's. We'll say him that she's not feeling okay these days and I'm going to take care of her for a few days. He can come over if he wants one night or two".

He nodded. "How long do you think you'll be gone?"

"I don't know Aaron… Maybe a week. Maybe more".

"A whole week?" He gasped. God, how he was going to survive without her?

"I need this Aaron. Please, try to understand…" She pleaded him and he nodded reluctantly. "I'll go wake up Jack, okay?" She said getting up.

"Emily…" She stopped at the sound of his voice. She turned back to him and saw him approaching her. "Can I give you a kiss? Please?" He asked whispering.

He nodded and he all but launched himself at her, wrapping one arm around her waist and bringing his other hand to cup the back of her head and hold her tightly against him. He pushed his tongue between her lips and ravished her mouth, stroking her tongue and sucking it hungrily, reducing her into a puddle in just a few seconds.

He had never kissed her so hopelessly. He kissed her like it was their last day on earth, like he had never tasted her before, like she was his life source and he was trying to survive. She moaned throatily into his mouth and rather felt than heard his groan coming deep from his chest.

Only when the lack of air was starting to cause too much pressure on their brains he pulled apart, gasping for breath, but didn't let her go. "Please, please, _please_ , Emily, come back to me…" He whispered in despair.

She nodded and gave him one more sweet kiss. "I will".

 **A/N: Did you like it? Pleeeease, let me know!**


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N: I know I promised on Tuesday but things are really busy here right now and I just couldn't. I know last chapter was intense and some of you may even think that Hotch's reaction was a little OCC but remember that he already had a failed marriage and he blamed himself for that (even though I don't think it's his fault, whatsoever). So, the prospect of failing again, especially with someone who has been his safe heaven after he woke up without memory must be almost unbeareble. He loves Emily and he never had the chance to live this love because he doesn't remember. Keep that in mind.**

 **This one is a little short but it's a transition chapter between their fight and their reconciliation. The next one it's half ready so I think I'll be posting tomorrow or Saturday. Leave a lot of reviews and I won't be too late. Thank you for all the reviews until now, you guys are amazing.**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own them.**

Chapter 17

Two weeks.

It has been two weeks since Emily asked for a break.

The first few days were hard. Hotch was used to have her near all the time, taking care of him, of his son. He was used to her beautiful face first thing in the morning, the sweet sound of her laugh while she made breakfast with Jack, her sweet scent of vanilla, sometimes strawberries, always so sweet and calming. He was used to hear her voice, to have her soft body molding with his when they went to bed every night. He was used to her taste, addicted to her taste, so sweet, so intoxicating…

He had called her every night, using Jack as an excuse, just to hear her smooth voice saying good night to him. He had sent her flowers every day, always with cards expressing his love for her and how much he wanted her back.

At the sixth day, when he called again that night she had asked him to give her more space, to stop with the calls and the flowers, that if Jack wanted to talk to her he should be the one calling and could come to spent the night with her too. But she needed space from him.

It had hurt. God, it hurt like hell. But he had respected her request. He told her that he loved her more than anything in this world and he was going to wait for her. And when she hung up without saying it back he cried.

Part of him felt really stupid for crying like this, but he knew that he just couldn't not cry. He had already failed on one marriage and now he was failing on another. But it wasn't just that. It was the memory of her fearful and hurtful eyes staring back at him after he had said those things to her.

He still couldn't believe that he had said that. It was the curse of being a profiler. The ability of knowing how to use the weakest part of the person to cause the more amount of pain possible. He had done that. He saw in her eyes the first time she told him the whole story the fear of being judged, of him thinking less of her, thinking that she had done something bad.

He had managed to hurt deeply someone who had just loved him unconditionally and now he was paying for that.

Jack had spent the ninth night with her and last night, the thirtieth night, he had spent there too. It hurt to hear the boy asking for his mother every night before sleeping. It made him remember the time right after Haley's death, when he would wake up with his son's screams, asking for him mommy back, asking for his father to protect him from the bad guy. And again, he knew it was all his fault.

And to make things worse, he was constantly suffering with migraines, sometimes followed by flashbacks, reminding him what he had and then had lost it. He remembered moments of them together. He remembered their first date, their moving day, a random playdate at the park with Jack, more parts of his wedding, some parts of their honeymoon, which make everything worse, more painful, her absence almost unbearable.

He looked at the clock. It was right after 2 in the afternoon and his mother would bring Jack home after picking him at school by 4. His head pounded and he gritted his teeth to prevent from screaming. He looked at the bottle of whiskey on the small table on the corner and served himself a dose. He took it in one gulp and grimaced at the burning from the liquid down his throat.

He put another dose and drowned in one gulp too, already feeling the numbness relieving the arch on his head. Before he knew he had drunk almost the whole bottle and was spread on the couch, without headache but with a sequence of flashbacks that left him almost screaming.

 _"_ _What do you think about Christopher? If it's a boy?" Emily asked, sitting between his legs while they were watching Jack playing with other children on the park._

 _"_ _Christopher Hotchner. I like it, it's strong". He nodded. "Olivia, if it's a girl?"_

 _She thought for a moment before letting a smile play on her lips. "I love it. Christopher or Olivia Hotchner. I love it"._

He felt the tears slipping from his eyes as he gripped the cushion tightly.

 _"_ _Hey, Mrs. Hotchner?" He whispered on her ear, trying to wake her and chuckling at the groan she emitted._

 _"_ _Leave me alone…" She scowled at him._

 _"_ _Already? We've been married for only…" He looked at his watch. "Eighteen hours…"_

 _"_ _Right, and don't make me regret it. Let me sleep…" She said burying her face on the pillow._

 _He traced his fingertips on her bare shoulder and brought his hand to kiss her back, pushing the sheets to the side and kissing down her spine until the curve of her button. She wiggled her ass on his face to push him of but he only growled and took the cheeks on his hands, squeezing it._

 _"_ _Aaron!" She half moaned, half whined._

 _"_ _You really want to sleep right now?" He asked, hovering her from behind and letting her feel his desire on her back. She moaned and bounced against him, making him smirk. "That's what I thought". He chuckled and turned her around to capture her mouth on a good morning kiss._

He cried out at the pain and the tug on his chest for the emptiness of being without Emily. There was a loud knock on the door and he groaned, getting up to answer. It was too early to be his mother with Jack. He opened the door and looked at the stunned face of his old friend.

"Aaron?" Dave gasped at the sight of his friend. His hair was messy, his shirt was rumpled, his eyes were red and he could smell the alcohol on his breath. "What the hell happened? Where are Jack and Emily?"

"They're gone". He mumbled and turned back to the living room, sinking on the couch heavily.

"What do you mean with they're gone?" He asked carefully.

"I fucked up. I hurt her. I hurt her and she left". He said taking the glass and filling with more whiskey and drowning with one gulp.

Dave took the glass off his hand and the bottle, going to the kitchen to throw it on the sink. He came back and found his friend gripping his head tightly, his eyes shut and his jaw gritted, tears falling down his face. He knelt down in front of him and placed his hands on his shoulders shaking him. "Aaron, talk to me. What happened?"

Hotch told him everything, the fight over Clyde's message, the fight on their bedroom, their talk in the morning, his talks on the phone, her request for space, everything. When he finished, he saw Dave's reproving stare and shook his head. "Don't. Don't lecture me. I know I'm a jerk, I know I'm fucked up, I know I don't deserve her. I know all of that. Maybe it's for the best. She deserves something better, someone who can make her happy. Maybe she needs to find someone else. And she should take Jack with her. He's better without me too. I deserve to be alone. I caused Haley's death. I hurt her with my choices towards my job while we were married. I always was negligent as a father. And now I hurt the other woman who decided to try something with me".

Dave looked at the resigned face of his friend and sighed sadly. He stood up and took his hands. "C'mon Aaron. We have to sober you up… Go take a shower. Don't make me throw you on the bathroom. You have fifteen minutes before I go after you. Go." He said shoving him upstairs.

He rubbed his face and took his phone, dialing the familiar number. "Hello".

"Emily. It's Dave".

"What's up Dave?" She asked.

"I'm at your place right now… Aaron said that his mother is bringing Jack later…"

"Yeah…" She said carefully.

"I don't think it's a good idea to bring him here today, Em".

"Why? What happened?" She asked worriedly.

"He's not good, sweetie. I got here and he was drunk, crying. I think he's in pain. He was gripping his head and crying. He told me what happened. He's really shaken up. He said he deserves to be alone. That you should leave and take Jack because you both deserve something better… He's not okay…"

Emily felt her heart broken at Dave's words. She thought he would be suffering but she didn't think it was that bad. "Okay… I'll… I'll call Anna and tell her to bring Jack back here".

"Okay… I sent him to the bathroom. He's taking a shower. I'll make some coffee and try to sober him…" She stayed in silence for a while and he could hear her crying on the other end of the phone. "You're not coming back Emily?"

"I love him so much, Dave…" She whispered painfully.

"Then you don't think you two should try to fix this? Together?"

She kept quiet again until he heard her sigh. "Just… take care of him, please. See if he's really in pain…"

"I will".

"Thank you, Dave". The line went dead.

Dave looked around the room, staring at the pictures of the family he loved so much. He seriously hoped to God that this wasn't their end.

 **A/N: We only have three more chapters and the Epilogue. Next one will be the beggining of their reconciliation. Let a review to tell me what you think of this.**


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews, you guys are amazing. We are reaching the end on this story and I'm so happy and sad at the same time. I really loved writing this and it makes me happy to see that you guys love this as much as I do. Thank you all!**

 **This is the start of their reconciliation. We have a little angst but it's necessary. I hope you guys like it! Let a review. I'll probably be posting on Tuesday. Happy Easter!**

Chapter 18

"How are you feeling?" Dave asked handing him a cup of coffee. Hotch had gone upstairs to take a shower and when twenty minutes passed and he didn't come back Dave went after him just to find him showered, changed and passed out on the bed. He closed the blinds and turned off the lights, leaving the room and letting him sleep for a bit. He had seen the dark circles under his eyes and knew that he hadn't had almost any sleep on the past few days.

He went downstairs and cleaned a little bit, hided a few bottles of whiskey and arranged the dishes from the day before on the dishwasher. He saw that Hotch probably hadn't eaten anything since the night before so he quickly made some sandwiches and coffee.

Hotch had woken up after almost an hour and although his face was still pale and his eyes were red, he seemed a little better. "I feel like crap".

"Well, you look like crap…"

Hotch snorted and took a sip of the coffee. "What time is it?" He asked remembering that Jack should be home soon.

"Four-thirty".

"Jack should be home soon…"

"He's not coming…" Hotch looked up with a questioning face and Dave continued. "I called Emily after I sent you upstairs and told her you weren't feeling okay and I didn't think Jack should come here today".

"Oh". Hotch's heart skipped a bit at the mention of Emily. "And what… what did she say?"

Dave looked at his friend and smiled a bit. "She said that she loves you more than anything. And that I had to take care of you and see if you were in pain…"

"I'm in pain ever since she left Dave…" He said quietly. "She's not coming back…"

"Of course she is coming back Aaron. Didn't you hear me? She said to me that she loves you. More than anything. And she was worried about you. She asked me to take care of you. She still cares…"

"Then why she won't talk to me? Why she doesn't come back, Dave? I need her… Everything is so wrong without her here…" He said painfully and the tears started to poll in his eyes again.

"You have to be patient, Aaron. You hurt her. It touched something really delicate and she needs some time to forgive you and be able to move on…"

Hotch gripped his head again and shut his eyes tightly, the sharp pain being followed by another flashback.

 _"_ _Help! Daddy, help me!" He heard Jack shouting on the living room and chuckled at the boys giggles._

 _"_ _What's up buddy?" He asked innocently at the boy._

 _"_ _Help me! She's tickling me!" He said between giggles while his father's girlfriend tickled him mercilessly._

 _Hotch chuckled and grabbed Emily by her waist, pinning her effortless on the couch and started to tickle her making her squirm and giggle._

 _"_ _Stop, Aaron, stop!" She screamed at him and giggled until she was breathless. "Stop, please!"_

 _He chuckled and stopped his assault, sinking on the couch beside her and putting Jack on his lap. "Sorry honey, my man asked for back up and I had to help him…" He said smiling and leaned in to capture her mouth in a kiss._

"Ahh…" Hotch groaned at the pain on his head.

"Are you okay, Aaron?" Dave asked worriedly.

"This damn headache. It won't stop! I'm having flashbacks all the time, it hurts! It just shows me how happy we were, how happy she made me…" He answered crying.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"No… The doctor said that the headaches were normal when I had the flashbacks… It just hurts… Not only physically but… Every single night I wake up with dreams about her, about us making love, about her touch, her kisses, her skin… It hurts to wake up in a lonely bed, cold, without her…" He said wiping his eyes. "Imagine the best night of your life, with the most gorgeous and sexy woman you've seen". When Dave nodded he continued. "It's like that with her every single time. And I've never even had a real experience… God… I want her so much, Dave. I want to wake up to her smile every morning… I want to feel her body fit perfectly on mine every night… I want to hear her laugh… I want to see that sparkle in her eyes every time she talks to me… I want to tell her that I love her, more than my own life…"

Dave sighed and patted his friends back, his heart arching at the pain he could see in his eyes. "Have faith, Aaron. Have faith in your love for each other. I'm sure that she will come back home soon".

"It's empty without her… When Haley left I felt, I struggled and it took some time to get used to it but it wasn't like this… with her I always felt like I was on my own, you know. It was like I was there playing a paper and being her support as a husband and father. But I never felt like she was my partner. I've never felt like she was the center of my life…" He said sighing heavily and both men stayed in silence for a while.

He made him eat half of the sandwich and stayed talking to him for a while before leaving. Just as he was making his way to his car his phone rang. He looked at the ID and smiled. "Hello Bella".

"How is he?" Her worried voice came through the line.

"He's better, sober. He took a nap earlier and I make him eat half of a sandwich. I don't think he had been eaten well lately. I hided the bottles of whiskey and cleaned the kitchen. What worries me are the headaches. He said that he's having them all the time but the doctor said it's normal with the flashbacks. He said he dreams every night and spends the day having them". He reported to her and she stayed in silence for a little while.

"He's not looking good, right…" She whispered painfully.

"No sweetie, he's not. I honestly don't think I've ever seen him like this, not even when Haley died…" Dave answered truthfully.

"I miss him…" She confessed quietly.

"Then come back, honey. He misses you too. He needs you. He loves you…" Dave said.

She didn't answer for a while before whispering quietly "Bye Dave, thanks", and hung up.

Dave looked at the phone and sighed. He turned on the car and took off, praying that everything would be fine soon.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Two days later Hotch was putting Jack on the bed when the boy asked for his mother again. "When mommy is coming back? Grandma is fine, she doesn't need her there anymore…" He whispered.

Hotch closed his eyes to prevent the tears, before smiling at the boy and kissing his forehead. "Soon, buddy. Mommy will be home soon".

He closed Jack's door and leaned against the wall. After Dave's visit Emily had called him and asked how he was feeling and he honestly had hope that things would get better and she would come back, but now, two days later, she still didn't have. His head was starting to hurt again and he went to his bedroom quietly. He went to the closed and picked the box of albums that Emily had showed him before and placed it on the bed. He opened it and pulled out an album, starting to look at some pictures. He closed his eyes at some flashbacks and the tears fell for the pain and the loneliness he was feeling.

Laying on the bed he flipped the pages of the albums, looking at the pictures and remembering their moments together. He remembered their first date, the first time he introduced her to his mother, the case where she was almost blow up on a case in New York, when they started to move together…

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, surrounded by their memories, preparing himself for another restless night without his wife.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHP

It was two-thirty in the morning when Jack woke up thirsty. He got out of the bed and left his room to go downstairs when he heard some whimpers and cries coming from his father's bedroom. Scared, the boy approached carefully the room and opened the door, calling for Hotch.

"Dad?" He called for his father and saw him struggling on the bed, crying and gripping his head, groaning in pain. He got closer and shook his shoulder, but he just continued to cry without even notice his son's calls.

Jack left the room and rushed downstairs, picking the phone and dialing the number from memory. A very sleepy voice answered quietly. "Hello?"

"Mom!" Jack cried and instantly Emily was wide awake.

"Jack? Honey, what happened? It's almost three in the morning…" She asked already putting her shoes and grabbing her wallet and keys.

"It's dad. I woke up thirsty and when I was going downstairs I heard him crying. I shook him but he didn't even heard me… he's crying very hard, mom!"

"Okay honey, I need you to calm down. I'm on my way. Fifteen minutes, babe. Go back to your room and wait for me okay? I'm coming!"

"Kay mom". The boy hung up and followed his mother's directions.

Emily rushed out of the room, almost colliding with her mother-in-law. "Emily, darling what's happening? I heard voices. Where are you going?"

"Home. It was Jack. He found Aaron crying on our bed. He didn't even hear Jack calling him…" She explained quickly.

"I'm going with you. I look after Jack while you take care of Aaron". She said going to her room to take her purse and following Emily.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Emily ran through the door and went to her son's room, finding the boy terrified on his bed, sitting with his legs up, pressing against his chest. "Honey, are you okay?"

"Is dad okay?" The boy asked worriedly.

"Mom is going to check on him now okay? I'll take care of him. You stay here with grandma for a while…"

"Kay…" He murmured and she gave Anna a slight nod before leaving the room, going to her bedroom.

She opened the door and look at her husband on their bed, surrounded by photo albums and frames. He wasn't struggling anymore and as she approached she saw that he was sleeping. His brow was furrowed and he was fisting his hands on the hem of his shirt. She sighed and approached him and ran her hands on his head slowly. His face relaxed a little and he snuggled closer to her, making her smile.

She got up and cleaned the bed, arranging the albums back to the box and placing back on its stop on the closet. She took off her shoes and her coat and lay down on the bed, spooning him, putting his head on her chest. He whimpered in his sleep and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face on her chest. She caressed his head and kissed his forehead, smiling at him when he settled in her arms.

She closed her eyes and sighed, murmuring quietly on his ear before letting sleep catch her. "I'm home, babe…"

 **A/N: She's home! Next is their talk... Leave suggestions!**


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N: I know I said I would post yesterday but I couldn't. But with this I hope you guys forgive me. Also I decided to add two extra chapters here before the Epilogue because I don't like to end things abruptedly and you guys asked so much for it. So we have three more to go, plus the Epilogue. YAY! Hope you guys like this. I has a little surprise...**

 **Disclaimer: I own Anna.**

Chapter 19

Emily awoke right after six. She looked down and saw Hotch still sleeping; his brow still furrowed but his face a lot less tense than the night before. She carefully got off of his grip and out of the bed, sighing when he whimpered at the loss. She caressed his hair and kissed the top of his head before turning around and leaving the room, after turning off his alarm to let him sleep in.

She opened her son's door and smiled at the sight of him sleeping peacefully. She couldn't imagine how scared must have been to him seeing his father like that. It must have brought memories from his mother and she couldn't forgive herself for that because if she was home as she was supposed to be none of this would have happened. Closing the door she went downstairs, smelling the coffee, indicating that her mother-in-law was already up. "Good morning…" She greeted her quietly and took a cup to fill with coffee.

"Morning, sweetheart. How is he?" Anna asked worriedly. As much as she hated to see her boy suffering she knew that she couldn't do anything because it was something that the two of them should solve together, as a couple.

"Sleeping. When I got in he was already sleeping. I lay with her and slept. He fussed a little but settled when I soothed him…" She said sitting in front of Anna. After a few seconds she sighed. "He's so broken, An. He's too thin and there's shadows under his eyes… he whimpered my name over and over and cried while he was sleeping, asking for me… when I got in last night the bed was covered on photos and albums and he was holding a picture of the two of us together, kissing…"

Anna took her hands and held it tightly. "And what are you going to do now, darling?"

Emily looked at her and knew the answer instantly. She actually knew from the moment she got inside her bedroom and saw the love of her life suffering for her, whimpering in pain and cried to sleep because of her absence. "I'm coming back. I'm never leaving again. Here is where I belong and I was a fool thinking that I could forget everything being out of here. I just missed him terribly and now I realize that nothing is getting better while we're apart from each other. I need him as much as he needs me. I was selfish for leaving him here alone in his condition… my place is here, by his side, with our son and maybe…" She let her voice trail off and looked down at her middle.

It took two seconds for Anna to understand what she was saying and she broke into a grin. "Are you…?"

"I don't know. I'm feeling nauseous these past few days and more tired… I'm throwing up every morning the last five days, my period should have come three weeks ago. With all of this I must have lost the track of time, and I just feel, you know…" She said, smiling.

Anna got up and pulled Emily into a hug. "Oh sweetheart, that's so amazing!"

"I still have to make the test but I'm almost sure that I am. I'm probably seven to eight weeks… I think it was right before Aaron's accident. We were discussing trying again and I stopped to taking the pill…"

"I'm so happy, sweetie. You two wanted so much, you deserve it…" She said planting a sweet kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you An…"

"Now, it's almost six-thirty. I'll wake up Jack and get him ready to school. Can you take care of the breakfast?" She asked going upstairs and Emily nodded. She made some waffles and the three of them ate it together and then Anna said she was going to take Jack to school and would picking him later and bring him to her place for the night, saying that Emily and Hotch needed some time alone.

Emily kissed Jack goodbye and closed the door, going back upstairs. She saw Hotch still sleeping and smiled. She got into the bed again and put him into her arms, caressing his back and whispering her love for him in his ear. She closed her eyes and sighed. They were a family. With the possibility of the baby coming she knew they had to fix their differences and forgive each other because she wouldn't give up on this, ever.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

 _"_ _Aaron, I can't let you do this. This job means everything to you! You are not ready to retire. I know that if you do you'll regret it later… I can't let you do this…" Emily argued in their bedroom one night. Strauss had just found about them after the bank case on New York. When Garcia told Hotch that she couldn't find Emily after the explosion his reaction was enough for the Section Chief figure it out that their relationship was more than a normal relationship between a supervisor and a subordinate. And when she came out from the destroyed building and Hotch ran towards her pulling her into his arms, saying that she could never do this to him again, the Chief had her confirmation._

 _"_ _I will get the retirement package, Emily. I'm doing this job for almost twelve years now and it's more than enough. I already lost too much for it. I'm not losing you too…" He said forcefully._

 _"_ _Babe, you're not gonna loose me. I'll ask for transference and we'll stay together… This job means more to you than it means to me... it's who you are!"_

 _He remembered the fight with Haley so many years ago and finally could understand what she meant. And she was right… "No Emily... it's what I do. You, Jack and our life together… that's who I am, that's what I want and need"._

 _"_ _I love you Aaron…" She said after a few silent moments just looking at him. "And I understand what you're saying… but after everything, after Doyle and my faked death, I just don't feel like that is my place anymore… the adrenaline, the action, everything that made me feel alive before now just made me feel like I'm risking too much. It makes me fear that something will happen… I think it's time for a change, it's what I need. Have time to pick Jack from school, free Jessica from the responsibility a little more, have time to read, to watch movies, to play with Jack… have time to think about our future… be home to take care of Jack and how many other children God allow us to have… be able to prepare a surprise for you for when you get home… I think it's time for me to put myself and my family first"._

 _"_ _And what if I want this too?" He asked circling her waist with his arms and leaning his forehead against hers._

 _"_ _When you are ready, you will. You put us in first already, Aaron. You always did. But you are not ready to leave the BAU and you know that". She said looking into his eyes and leaning to give him a kiss._

 _"_ _I just… I love you so much, Emily… so much…" He breathed tightening his grip on her._

 _"_ _I love you too, babe. I love you too…"_

Hotch slowly awoke groaning, his head pounding. He buried his face into the pillow, breathing in Emily's scent and whimpering at the loss of her. After a few moments he felt the pillow moving up and down and then a hand was caressing his head and a familiar voice was whispering in his ear, soothing him lovingly and kissing his head.

He lifted his head up and met the most beautiful face he'd ever seen, the dark eyes he loved so much looking sweetly at him and the lips he craved so much curved up on a heart-stopping smile. "Emily…" He breathed, raising his hand to touch her face, afraid that it was just another dream, hunting him and torturing him.

He caressed her cheek and gasped when she took his hand in hers and brought it to her lips, planting light kisses in each one of his fingers and on his palm. "Hey babe…" She whispered smiling.

"You're really here…" He whispered in awe, sitting up to look at her but whimpering when his head pounded hurtfully. Just as he was going to cup his head in his heads she beat him, pressing her fingertips in his temple and making small circles, easing the pain. She leaned in and pressed a kiss on his forehead and brought his head to rest on the crock of her neck, still caressing his hair.

He wrapped his arms again around her frame tightly and breathed deeply her scent, his tears making contact with her skin. She shushed him quietly and alternated between caressing his head and back and pressing kisses on his hair and forehead. "Ssh… It's okay babe, I'm here…"

"Emily…" He whispered painfully, muffed by her skin. "I've missed you so much. So much… Oh God, you're here…" He moaned tracing kisses down her neck and up to her ear. "You're really here…"

"I'm really here, honey. And I'm not going anywhere…" She said leaning in to kiss his lips sweetly.

"B…but h-how? When?" He asked confused.

"Jack called me last night. He got up thirsty and heard you whimpering and crying. He called me almost three in the morning…" She said.

"God… he must be so scared… I'm so sorry…" He said looking at the clock on the nightstand. "It's late! I have to take him to school…" He exclaimed but she stopped him.

"Anna already took him. She came with me last night. I turned off your alarm to let you sleep a little more. You're so thin, honey. Your eyes are so dark…"

"I haven't eaten so much… don't have appetite. And the migraines don't let me sleep. They won't go away, Em. It's hell, all day long. And when I sleep I dream and wake up in pain…" He said with a grim.

"I know babe, but I'm here now. You'll take a nice shower and then you'll eat the pancakes I'll make for you. And after that we're going to the hospital, okay? I know the doctor said it was normal with the flashbacks but you can't be in pain all the time and don't do anything".

She mentioned to get out of the bed but stopped when he tugged her hand. She looked at him and saw his fearful eyes staring at her. "You're really not going away?"

She winced inwardly at the vulnerability she had never heard on his voice and squeezed his hand. "I am not going anywhere. I belong here, with you. And it's exactly where I'm staying".

He managed to smile at her and pulled her close, cupping her face in his hands and looking straight to her eyes before descending his mouth on hers. He kissed her thoroughly, moaning at the taste of her, the taste he had craved so much the past two weeks. She kissed him back with as much as passion and only pulled apart when the air was becoming a necessity. "I love you so much, sweetheart…" He whispered caressing her cheek, planting another kiss on her swollen mouth.

"I love you too. I'll wait for you downstairs okay?" He nodded and she kissed him one last time before leaving the room.

Hotch looked at the door where she disappeared and smiled, touching his lips. She was back and he couldn't believe it. He got up and went to the bathroom. He was suddenly very hungry and couldn't wait to go downstairs.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Hotch and Emily went to the hospital and he was taken to do several tests. They waited for almost an hour and then were directed to the doctor. "Mr. Hotchner, I have the results of your exams. It doesn't show any swelling again but your BP is slightly high and I'd take you're having a constant migraine?"

"Yes, all day long. And even when I manage to sleep is not peacefully". Hotch answered the doctor.

"How much do you think you regain of your memory?" The doctor asked.

"Honestly? I think almost eighty percent. I still have some blanks, mostly about my work and some cases but my personal memories, with my family, I think I remember almost everything…" He said smiling.

"That's very good Mr. Hotchner. Your migraine is still connected to your flashbacks and that's happening due the extra pressure in your brain to remember things that were hidden. When your flashbacks begin to decrease the pain must likely go away too. Right now, are you feeling something?"

"No, the last flashback was while I was in the shower".

"Okay. Unfortunately there's nothing we can do about this because it's something that will happen until the flashbacks stop. But I'll prescript something for your blood pressure and something to help when the headaches are too much. I can give you something to sleep too if you want".

"No, just for the blood pressure and the migraines, please". He didn't like the idea of taking pills to sleep and he really hoped that with Emily back he would manage to sleep better.

The doctor nodded and handed him the prescription. They went to the pharmacy and bought the medicines and drove back home. Emily was driving and Hotch rested his head on the window, reaching out and taking her hand in his. She looked at him with his eyes closed and smiled, squeezing his hand.

When they got home Hotch took her hand and directed them to the living room, sitting on the couch and bringing her to sit on his lap. He buried his face on her hair and inhaled her scent of strawberries, hugging her tightly. He pulled back and looked at her beautiful face, caressing her cheeks and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He was so happy that she was back and he knew, from the way she was looking at him, that she had forgiven him. But he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to say to her everything he had thought these days they were apart and make her understand what she meant to him. "I'm so glad you're here". He started and she smiled. "But we need to talk, sweetheart".

And just like that her smile faded away.

 **A/N: What now? Don't worry! They won't fight again, but they have to talk before moving on. And we have a Baby Hotchner coming! Did you like it? Let a review pretty please!**


	21. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry the delay. Here is the new chapter and I really hope you like it. It was one of the hardest chapters to write on this fic but I'm happy with the result. Let a review to let me know! We already reached one-hundred and fifty and I can't even start to explain how much this means to me. Thank you, really. I'll try to post on TTCL today. This chapter is rated M.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own CM.**

Chapter 20

"Aaron… can't we just…" She started but he interrupted her.

"No. No, Emily we can't". He shook his head. "We can't just pretend that nothing happened and let it go… I hurt you. I used something that I knew it would cause you pain just to deliberately hurt you and that's not right. Before we move forward we have to talk about this because if we don't you can think that you forgave me when actually we just blocked to avoid confrontation".

"Okay…" She whispered quietly.

"I need to say some things and I really need you to listen to me carefully, okay?" At her nod he took a deep breath before starting. "First of all, I need you to understand that I only said those things because I was blinded by jealousy. I heard some British guy flirting with you and rather than ask you who he was and actually hear your explanation I let my judgment to be clouded by my own stupidity and started to accuse you and offend you". He took her face in his hands and looked straight into her big glassy brown eyes. "Emily, I never, ever thought that you were a whore. When you first told me the whole story at the hospital I was a little shaken about it because it is something big, being involved with something like this. But I didn't judge you, I swear. I know you long enough to know that you're a good person, that you'd only do what you did for the right reasons and you would always know how to separate things. I know that, do you understand?"

She nodded and whispered a yes but he still could see that she was a little concerned about everything.

"I am truly and deeply sorry about everything I said to you, about the way a treated you and for making you doubt yourself. Sweetheart, you have the kindest and most beautiful heart in the world. You are so beautiful and sweet. You make my life prettier, you make my life easier. You have this light inside of you that is capable of shining the darkest of the places and you managed to take me out of my darkness and show me that there's still hope and there's still love for me in this life. These past fifteen days that I stayed here, alone, without you, made me realize just how essential you are for my own sanity. Every time I remembered something about us I could see how much you are good to me and how much I need you. Every time I woke up, sweaty, shaken, crying because of a flashback and the pain I was feeling and I looked to my side and you weren't there… the pain I felt in my heart, the emptiness, the coldness, it was all so suffocating that I didn't know what to do. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe…"

She already had tears running down her cheeks and he wiped them with his thumbs, caressing her face and hair with one hand and her back with the other.

"I would pick some sweater in your closet and try to smell your sweet scent to see if I could sleep better… I found some home videos and I would watch them just to see your eyes and hear your laugh, your voice soothing my heart… I remembered something that my mom told me right after I was released from the hospital… she said, 'son, you love her so much, you can't function without her, you can't even think straight when she's not around. It's like you two are a single person, a single unit…' I couldn't understand back then but these weeks without you made me finally see what she tried to tell me. And she was right. The whole time it was like I was in autopilot. I didn't smile, I didn't laugh, I didn't eat properly, I didn't sleep. I simply existed. It was like everything had stopped to make sense. It was like I didn't have reason to keep going anymore…"

He leaned him and buried his nose on her hair, breathing deeply and sighed tightening his grip on her waist and caressing her back and rips with his hand.

"I realized that I need you to keep me alive. You taught me what happiness is and without you I just can't be happy. I realized that I love you so much, so _fucking_ much, that if you're not around everything else just stops making sense. I honestly don't know what you saw in me because I surely don't deserve you". He said and looked right into her eyes, deeply, trying to make her feel and understand just how sincere he was being. "But if you let me, if you find in your beautiful heart a way to really forgive me for the pain that I caused you I promise you that I will spend the rest of my existence trying to make it up to you and trying to make you feel so happy and loved, the way you always make me feel".

She saw such need and love in his eyes that she couldn't prevent the smile forming on her lips. She cupped his face and caressed his cheeks, smiling when his eyes fluttered closed and a small tear felt on his left cheek. "You, Aaron Hotchner, are the most amazing, caring, sweet and loving man that I've ever met". She whispered. "You always make me feel safe and loved. You always put me and Jack in first. You taught me what real love is. You gave me a family. You made me feel finally worth it. You make me feel whole, complete. I love you more than anything in this world and I just can't imagine my life without you…" She said and leaned in to kiss him briefly. "I shouldn't ever have gone. I belong here, with you and Jack. I love you, babe. I missed you so much". She whispered and he sobbed, clenching on her and taking her mouth on a fierce kiss.

He groaned deep on his throat at the taste of her and shoved his tongue on her mouth, mapping every inch of her, sucking her tongue and pulling back to nip and suck her bottom lip. She let him devour her mouth and ran her hands on his hair and shoulders, relieving the feeling of him after so many days apart.

He could see the bright spots on his eyes when they pulled apart, breathlessly, panting, their bodies pressed together, their faces flushed and their mouths swollen. He looked at her and smiled, getting up from the couch, bringing her with him in his arms, carrying her to their bedroom, still not believing that she was actually here. He placed her on the bed and yanked his shirt over his head before covering her body with his. He kissed her sweetly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling at her. "I missed you too, sweetheart, so much…" He whispered quietly and she felt her eyes watering again.

He played with the hem of her shirt before taking it and pulling it over her head, drinking the sight of her bare torso, covered only by a black lace bra, contrasting perfectly with her very fair skin. He arched her back just enough to unclasp it and took the piece off, leaving her chest completely exposed, her pink nipples already hard, inviting him wordlessly. He took one of them in his mouth very carefully and sucked, groaning at the taste of her skin and the little mewls she was making beneath him. He switched sides and gave the twin the same treatment, while his hands were caressing every inch of skin they could reach.

He released her breasts and looked up at her flushed face, enjoying her half closed eyes and her half parted mouth. She sensed his stare and opened her eyes to look at him. "You are so beautiful". He whispered hoarsely. "The most exquisite human being I've ever seen…" He continued, tracing his fingers on her shoulders and collarbone, down the valley of her breasts to her abdomen. "You are perfect…" He unbuttoned her jeans and looked at her asking for permission. At her nod he pulled it down her legs and she stood there, only on her tiny black panties, being devoured by his hungry stare. "I can't believe you are all mine… All mine…" He said reverently and let his hands massage her legs and thighs.

She moaned when his fingers touched her through her panties and tried to reach for his belt but his angle wouldn't let her. Her whole body was on fire, the need of being with him overwhelming. She suddenly remembered of the pregnancy hormones and another wave of tears emerged on her eyes. She took his hands on hers and laced their fingers, making him look at her. "I'm all yours. Everything in me in yours… even inside me I have something that is yours…" She whispered hoarsely, putting their joined hands on her belly and smiling at his confused face.

Suddenly realization dawned at him and his eyes snapped back at hers, his lips broken into a grin and his own tears already forming. "Y-you… God, you are… oh my God…"

She grinned at him and nodded. "I didn't make a test yet but I have all the symptoms and my period is three weeks late".

"Oh God… Emily…" He whispered, his voice husky from his tears. He let out a sob and caressed her belly, actually feeling a very small bump. "I can feel it". He said smiling and leaned down to press a kiss where they child rested. The rest of their clothes were quickly discarded and he was kissing her like there was no tomorrow, his already throbbing member brushing her center, making her buckle against him.

"I need you…" She gasped on his mouth. "Please…"

And she didn't have to wait. His own desire already too much, he took him in his hand and guided into her, slowly and carefully, enjoying the feeling of her tight walls clamping against him. "God, I've missed you so much". He sobbed on her neck as he started to move. He kissed her skin, marking her, tasting her, savoring her, relishing the feel of her underneath him. She moaned incoherently as he moved faster and harder, her hands gripping his shoulders and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist.

"I love you…" Both of them whispered on each other's ears, teetering the edge already. It didn't take too long. Soon, the moans and gasps filled the room and then they were there, clinging to each other, groaning and shaking until the calm came. They remained together for a few minutes, controlling their breathing and their heart beat.

When Hotch pulled back, smiling at the little whine Emily let when he pulled out of her, he took her into his arms tightly, one hand around her shoulders and the other resting on her belly, still not believing that there rested their child, the proof of their love for each other. "I can't believe yet…" He whispered.

"Me neither…" She whispered back. "We should buy a test to confirm…"

He nodded but held her tighter, not letting her out of his grasp. "In a minute. Right now I just want to feel you…" She hummed at him and snuggled closer, pressing her lips on his jaw. "I love you so much, sweetheart".

"I love you too, Aaron… I love you too…" She whispered back.

 **A/N: Two more to go! Let a review, please.**


	22. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hello there! I'm very happy for all your reviews, thank you very much. Here is the new chapter and we have just one more to go, plus the Epilogue. I really hope you guys like it! It's very fluffy and we'll have the confirmation if Baby Hotchner is really coming... Oh, and another surprise too. :)**

 **Disclaimer: I own Anna.**

Chapter 21

"Do you remember our first night in this house?" He asked quietly, his fingers tracing her bare back. They still hadn't got out of bed, not wanting to end their first moment together after so much time.

"Hmm. We had just got back from our honeymoon". She whispered back at him, her head resting on his shoulder and her fingers were caressing his chest.

"We got back and the whole team had already moved all our stuff in. My mom and Jack helped them. You were so happy because we took a twelve-hour flight back and you said you just wanted to collapse on the couch and cuddle with our boy watching a movie…" He said smiling.

"And we did just that…" She chuckled.

"We watched three movies and had pizza and Chinese for dinner. We put Jack in bed and when we got in here I pushed you against the closed door and thanked God you had chosen to wear a skirt". He said and they both chuckled.

"Oh I remember… You took me up against the wall and then you shoved me on the bed and had your way with me again… twice". She went quiet for a moment. "I think that was when we conceived our first baby…"

He closed his eyes and hugged her tightly. He had remembered all their good moments but also their rough times. He remembered the pain he felt when they lost their baby and how Emily was devastated for months after that. "You know, I still like a lot the names we choose that first time".

"Olivia and Christopher?" She asked raising her head up to look at his face.

"Yeah… I like it a lot". He said carefully, knowing that it was a delicate subject.

She pondered in silence for a while, not looking at him. He kept himself quiet too, respecting her need to think about it. When she looked back at him and let a little smile start to play on her lips he knew she had decided. "I like it too…" She said and he grinned, leaning to place a kiss on her lips. "But we still need to make a test, Aaron…" She said seriously.

He nodded at her. "I know. How about we take a shower and then go pick a test before mom bring Jack from school?"

"Now you just want me wet and naked with you…" She joked smugly and he burst out laughing.

"Always sweetheart, always…" He said before leaning in to whisper on her ear. "Although I prefer when I'm the one who make you wet…"

He nipped her ear and chuckled when she moaned. The shower would take a little longer than they planned.

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"I can't look at it…" Emily whispered painfully looking at him.

They had gone buy the test and now they were in their bathroom. The time had passed and now they just had to look at the little stick to know if they were having a baby or not. Hotch sighed and took her into his arms, placing her head on his chest and kissing her hair. He knew how scared she was. With their first experience, he knew that if the stick had the two little lines they would pass through some difficult months. The fear of losing their baby would be with them until they could hold it in their arms.

"What if I can't keep it again?" She asked raising her head to look at him. The tears in her eyes broke his heart and he kissed her briefly.

"We have to know first, Em. Once we're sure we will make an appointment and we will follow every instruction the doctor gives us. If you have to take a license from your work you will, if you have to stay on bed rest you will and Jack and I will do everything we can to help you. You are not alone, sweetheart. I'm scared too but we can't make this a terrifying experience because we're afraid to lose it again. We have to enjoy it and be happy and make plans and wait anxiously for the baby's arrival, just like it's supposed to be". He tried to reassure her.

By their counts, if she was really pregnant she should be on the sixth week right now. Their last time had been on the week before his shooting, one day before he left for the case. "I can't look at it, Aaron… I'm scared". She said with her wide eyes filled with tears.

"I am too, babe. We'll look at it together, okay?" He suggested.

She nodded her head and they looked at the counter, where the stick was. Hotch turned it up to look at the results and they both saw the two little blue lines on the end of the stick. Emily let out a sob and clenched on Hotch's arm, burying her face on his chest, soaking his t-shirt with her tears. "We're having a baby…" She whispered muffed by his shirt and sobbed on his arms.

Hotch grinned widely and picked her up on his arms and placed her on the counter, taking her mouth on a deep kiss, leaving them both breathless. "We're having a baby, sweetheart…" He whispered happily when they pulled apart. "A little baby…" He bent down and kissed her tummy through her shirt, caressing their unborn child. When he looked up at her she almost gasped at the look of pure adoration in his eyes. He caressed her face with one hand and let the other still resting on her belly. "I am completely in love with you…" He whispered. "I love you so, so, so much, so much that I know I can't live without you anymore". He took her hand in his and carefully slipped her rings off of her finger, making her frown.

"Aaron…?" He questioned him.

"I feel like I've born again. I feel like I just won a new chance in life, a new opportunity to make things right, to make things better, a new chance to fix things that were wrong and reaffirm things that were right". He said slipping her wedding band on his pocket and keeping her engagement ring on his hand. He pulled her out of the counter and the bathroom and brought her to their bedroom, placing her in the middle of the room. He kissed her sweetly again and dropped on one knee, taking her hands in his and looking into her eyes. "I can't even begin to describe how grateful I am for you to be giving me another chance, giving us another chance. And now, with our baby, I know for sure that our family is complete and even stronger than before the accident. I promised you that I will spend the rest of my life making up to you for everything I made you cry these past two weeks and that's what I plan to do. I know we are already married and I thank God every day for that. But after everything we've been through I'd like to make this a new phase of our life, a new beginning for our family. I want to reaffirm my love for you in front of our friends and family, in front of our son and our new baby, even if it's still inside of you. So I ask you, Emily Hotchner… God, it's so good to call you that…" He added chuckling and she let out a sob. "Will you marry me, again? Will you reaffirm our love and our vows with me?"

She half sobbed and half chuckled at him. "You're crazy…"

"For you…" He said smiling at her. "So? Yes or no, my love?" He asked playing with her ring.

"Of course I will. I will marry you how many times I have too. I'll always say yes to you…" She whispered smiling and he replaced her ring on her finger, standing up.

"The other one I'll keep with me for a while… I want to do something for our ceremony…" He said pulling her into his arms again. "You are the love of my life…" He said caressing her hair and wiping the tears that were falling from her eyes. "I love you so much, my Emily".

"I love you too, Aaron… My Aaron…" She whispered kissing him.

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Anna brought Jack after school and was invited to stay for dinner as usual. Emily told her on the kitchen that she had taken the test and it was positive and she hugged her tightly, saying the she was very proud of her and very happy that they were together as a family again. They decided to tell Jack after dinner because Hotch said that they had to live this and celebrate this as a family and forget about the fear. They had to have faith that everything was going to be all right this time. So when Anna left they both called him to the living room and sat with him on the couch.

"Honey, we need to talk with you about something…" Emily started and saw the boy look at them with fearful eyes.

"Are you guys divorcing?" He whispered with a sad voice and they saw tears on his eyes.

Emily felt her heart tighten at the fear on her son's voice. "No sweetheart. We are not getting a divorce. I'm coming back home and I'll stay here because it's where I belong, with you and your father. I'm sorry I had to leave, but I'm back now. We need to talk with you but it's good news, great news, babe".

Jack nodded and smiled slightly at her, still not quite convinced and Hotch could see that. "Buddy, come here". He said patting at his lap and when he sat down Hotch look at him straight in the eyes. "Buddy, your mom and I love each other very much. We had some troubles lately because I said some things that hurt mommy a lot". Emily opened her mouth to say something but he raised his hand to shush her. "I was confused and I said things I shouldn't have said but I said that I was very sorry and your mom forgave me. We are happy, very happy and we'll stay together again, the way we're supposed to be, okay?"

He nodded and whispered okay and Emily smiled at him, caressing his head. "Babe, do you remember when we told you that you were going to get a little brother or a little sister?"

"Yeah, but he had to go to heaven like Mommy because the angels really needed him…" The boy said sadly.

Hotch patted his back in comfort. "That's right buddy. Well, mom and I found out today that we having a little baby on the way… you're going to get a little brother or a little sister…" He said smiling and saw his eyes lit up.

"Really? You're pregnant?" He asked excitedly looking at Emily.

"I am sweetheart… we'll have to wait a little but I'm going to have a baby…" She said smiling at the boy.

"But he's not going to heaven like the other, right?" He asked worriedly. He really wanted a brother to play or a sister to take care of.

Emily looked at Hotch and saw the conflict on his eyes too. "We don't know buddy… Unfortunately we can't be sure that nothing is going to happen but we have to take good care of mommy and have faith that we'll have our baby this time, okay?"

"Okay!" He nodded eagerly. "We'll take care of you mommy and I'll take care of the baby when it comes too!"

"I know you will, sweetheart. I know you will…" She said smiling at him and looking up at her husband. Everything was going to be okay this time. She had faith that it will.

 **A/N: Let a review, please! I'll try to post the next one until Friday.**


	23. Chapter 22

**A/N: OhmyGod, I'm such a bad, bad, bad person. I can't believe it's been so long, I'm so sorry! I had a problem with my computer and I couldn't write or post and I'm sorry. This is the last chapter in Oblivion and I'm so proud. I decided to put the Epilogue here too to reedem myself with you guys... I'd like to thank you all for the suport in this fic; I honestly didn't think I would have so much response here. I loved writing every single part of this and although I'm very sad that it's over I'm very proud with the result. Thank you all again. I'm finishing This Thing Called Love and I'll probably post it by the end of the day. I'm also already working on my new fic so I'll be posting it tomorrow or the day after. Please, go take a look and keep reading and reviewing because I love it. Here is the end, I sincerely hope you guys like it. See you soon!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own CM.**

Chapter 22

They were spooning at their bed that night, Hotch's hand caressing her belly, soothing their little baby and pressing little kisses on her neck and shoulders. "We have to make an appointment." He whispered to her.

"I know. I'll call first thing in the morning…" She whispered back. "Jack is so excited…" She said smiling. The boy had spent the rest of the night with his head resting on her lap, his hand caressing her belly and whispering stories to his little brother or sister. He had even picked one of his old books, from when Hotch and Emily read to him before sleep, and read to it, his voice quiet and warm, saying that it would make the baby sleep better.

"He is… he always wanted a sibling… he's very protective and caring and I know that he will be extremely protective towards the baby…" He said smiling. "We have to tell the team. I was thinking we could invite them for lunch this Saturday. We could tell them about the baby and our ceremony…" He suggested.

"Fine by me… I miss them… we used to have them over every week…"

He tightened his grip on her and pressed another kiss on her neck. "I know, babe." He remembered one decision he had made during the time she was on his mother's and thought about the better way to approach. "Sweetheart…"

"Hmm…" She hummed at him.

"I thought about a lot of things these last few days… I think… I think I'm going to retire…" He said quietly.

"What?" She asked surprised raising her head to look at him.

"I don't want to do this job anymore… look at what happened this time… I almost died, I lost my memory, I almost lost you… it's just so much risk, it's not worth it. Not anymore. I have more important things in my life, more valuable things… Jack, you, our new baby… why would I want to put my life in risk every single day when I have so much waiting for me, depending on me? Why would I want to risk losing everything? I want to be here, every day. I want to take Jack to school and pick him at the end of the day. I want to help him with his homework. I want to watch movies with you guys at night. I want to sleep all night, without worrying if I'll get a call in the middle of the night. I want to go all the appointments with you. I want to read baby books before sleep. I want to feel the first kick with you. I want to paint the guest room and make the nursery. I want to fill all your crazy pregnant wishes any time you need. I want so much, honey. I want to live my life and not my job…"

She had tears in her eyes in the end of his speech. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Our family is too much important for me to risk my life every day. I did everything I could these thirteen years, it's time to let someone else take the lead from now on… it's time to establish my priorities and you are in the first place. I'm not young anymore… It's time to let someone else do the job…" He said to her.

"Honey, you know I'll support you in everything you want or need and if you feel like this is what you need I'll be by your side… I told you when Strauss found out about us that you weren't ready yet but now… I can see that you are…"

"I am. I am ready to leave the Agent Hotchner behind…" He said smiling.

She smiled at him, partially relieved because he wouldn't put himself in danger on regular basis, and kissed him sweetly. "Love you, babe…"

"I love you too…" He whispered back.

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"I have to say that I really missed these weekly BBQs at your house, sugarplum…" Garcia said to Emily. They were in the kitchen, along with JJ and Tara, while the men and children were outside.

"I missed it too. We had a rough month but things will get better from now on…" She said smiling, looking at her son playing with Henry in the backyard and her husband laughing at something Dave had said.

"I told you everything would be just fine…" JJ said to her and she chuckled.

"I know…" She nodded. "It wasn't easy, though. I honestly thought we wouldn't make it. But I love him too much to just let it go… he's my everything… I tried to live without him these past two weeks and it was hell. Like he used to say, I need him to breath… it's like my brain can't function normally if he's not near or my heart constricts if I can't see him…" She said looking at him. When he spotted her and smiled brightly at her, winking and motioning for her to join him she couldn't avoid the flutter on her chest.

"I think your love for each other is so beautiful… like those sappy old movies with bad soundtrack that made us cry from beginning to end…" Garcia said smiling and all women chuckled.

"Let's go out there see what these men are doing…" Emily said.

"Care to tell me what you ladies were gossiping in there?" Morgan asked putting his arms around Garcia.

"Oh, you really wouldn't want to know my Chocolate Thunder…" Garcia said and everyone chuckled.

Hotch looked at Emily meaningfully and she nodded slightly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and cleared his throat to call everyone's attention. "We'd like to thank you all for coming today… we all know how hard this month was for our family and now that we're starting to put things on their places we really appreciate your support…" He started. "But we also invited you guys here because we have a few announcements to make…"

He looked down at Emily and she smiled at him, kissing his jaw. "First of all, I know that it won't be something easy for none of us but I thought a lot about it and I know it'll be the best for me and for my family…" He continued and everyone frowned. "I still have one week off but when it's over I'll be retiring…" Garcia gasped and Morgan widened his eyes and the others, minus Dave, were equally shocked. "I'll go in to train my replacement and finish my paperwork but after that I'm out. This last experience was the breaking point for me… I can't put myself in danger like that anymore, I'm too old for that and I have too much to lose. This…" he said gesturing to the house, Emily and Jack "it's what matters and I can't risk lose everything for a job. It's time to let someone else to do it…"

"Are you sure, man?" Morgan asked.

"Positively".

"Then you have my full support". He said and everyone nodded in agreement.

"Thank you guys… everything we live together as a team was wonderful but it's time for me to focus on my family completely. Which lead us to the other two announcements…" He said smiling, bending his head to kiss Emily's cheek. "First… Emily and I decided to reaffirm our vows in a small ceremony".

"Ohmygosh, that's so cute!" Garcia said excitedly. "Another Hotchner wedding!"

Emily chuckled and shook her head. "Yeah, I'll need my bridesmaids to help me to choose a dress…"

"No problem my dark-haired heaven beauty! We'll find the most shocking amazing dress that will leave the boss-man drooling!" Garcia said and Hotch chuckled.

"With Emily you don't need a special dress for this, Garcia… She's magnificent in anything…" He said smiling. "In nothing too…" He added quietly but loud enough to everyone hear and burst out in laugh, leaving Emily blushing.

"Aaron!" She smacked his arm before turning to Tara. "You weren't in the first wedding but now you're here and we love you and you're one of the bridesmaids too, okay?"

"Thank you Em…" She answered smiling.

"And what is the last announcement?" JJ asked curious.

Hotch looked at Emily and both chuckled. "Okay, for this one everyone needs to be prepared to Penelope's screams…" Hotch started and everyone frowned curiously. He laced his fingers with Emily's and put them on her belly, a full-dimpled smile on his face. "We're having a baby…"

"OHMYGOD!" Garcia squealed as expected and rushed to hug both brunettes. "Congratulations! I can't believe it! This is so incredibly deliciously amazingly awesome!"

"Thank you Pen…" Emily chuckled. "We found out this week. I'm almost ten weeks along. We went to the doctor yesterday and everything is fine… I have to be careful because of my age but other than that everything seems perfect…"

"Congratulations belíssima…" Dave said hugging her tightly. "I'm so happy for you sweetheart… you both deserve this and so much more…"

"Thank you Dave". She said wiping her tears and looking at Hotch. At his nod she turned to him again. "I know it's early but we talked and we'd like you to be our baby's godfather…"

His eyes widened and he grinned at her, taking her in another bear hug. "Oh sweetie, I'd be honored…" He said with a hoarse voice. "Thank you…"

She smiled at him and shook her head. "Thank _you_ … I don't know what we would have done these weeks without you… thank you for taking care of him…" She said tearfully.

"Always sweetheart. Always".

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By the end of the day everyone was still in the backyard talking when Anna arrived. "Oh babe, I'm sorry… I didn't know you have visitors…" She said seeing everyone.

"Oh Anna, please… you're home… we actually wanted to talk with you…" Emily said looking at Hotch.

"What is it, sweetie?" She asked sitting down beside her.

Emily smiled at Hotch and looked back at her. "We talked and we're very happy to give you another grandbaby but… we'd like to give you a title that _we_ picked for you, for your meaning in our life and not for genetic…" She started. "So… we talked and agreed that we'd be very happy if you were our baby godmother too".

Anna looked at her with wide filled eyes and her mouth hanging opened. "Sweetheart…" She whispered. "But… but… I'm already old and…"

"And we don't care. Other than us we want you to be the most important person in the baby's life because that's what you are…" Hotch said smiling.

"So… what do you say?" Emily asked.

"I'd be honored darling… thank you so much…" She said hugging her tightly. "I love you so much, sweetheart…"

"I love you too, mom". She whispered back and smiled when she tightened her grip on her.

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"Okay, sugarplum. Ready to pick the perfect dress?" Garcia asked as they entered the store.

"Nothing too extravagant Pen… I'm forty-something, already a mother and with another on the way…" Emily said carefully.

"Right, because you don't need a dress to look magnificent… just your birthday suit…" She giggled.

"I'm gonna kill Aaron…" She groaned.

"No, you won't. Now, let's go. Mommy can do too much effort, we have to be quick". Garcia said rushing them inside.

They were greeted by a young sailor who showed them some models and they quickly chose some that Emily should try out. First, she tried a simple silk white dress with a low cut on the back, but Garcia said it was too boring and didn't match with her. The second one was a salmon-colored with small sleeves, but Emily didn't like it. The third one was a white strapless dress with a heart-cut cleavage and little sparkles all over the skirt. It was tight on the waist and hips and flow open above her knees, marking very well all her curves and chest. When no one said anything she turned to her friends.

"So…?"

"Wow…" Garcia gasped. "You look absolutely stunning Emily!"

"You guys liked it?" She asked excited. It was by far her favorite and it was very comfortable and slim. She knew she would be able to dance without a problem and it wasn't heavy so it wouldn't be a problem for the baby.

"I absolutely loved it, Em…" JJ said and Tara nodded. "Hotch will flip!"

"I really loved it too…" She whispered happily. "I still can't believe I'm going to marry him again…"

"You didn't tell us how he asked!" Garcia said excitedly.

"It was so…" She struggled with the words. "It was right after we found out about the baby. He was so happy and then suddenly he took off my rings and I was like, what the hell are you doing? And then he knelt down and said that this whole thing was like an opportunity of a second chance to him, to make things right, better. And he said that he loved me so much that he wanted to reaffirm that in front of our family and friends and make this a new phase of our lives together… it was so sweet, so romantic…" She said and Garcia awed.

"I honestly can't see Hotch as a romantic". Tara laughed. "I mean, he's great, honorable and very sweet when he wants to be, but romantic?"

"He is… he's very romantic… I remember this time, right after we start dating and we had just got back from a horrible case. I tackled the unsub but we had one hell of a fight before. I was so sore and grumpy and when we get home I just went upstairs and didn't even speak with him, just fell on the bed. A few minutes later I woke up with him picking me up. I didn't know what he was doing so I started to argue with him but he just continued his way to the bathroom. When we got in I saw that he had lighted up the whole room with candles and had prepared a bubble bath for me with my favorite salts. There was a soft song playing and he undressed me carefully and placed me on the bathtub. Then he was gone and I stood there like a stupid. Almost an hour later he came back and took me off the bathtub and dried me, then he dressed me in my favorite shirt, his shirt, and one of his boxers and picked me up again, placing me on the bed. He left the room again and then came back with a tray with my favorite pasta and a glass of wine. I ate while he was in the shower and then he took the tray back to the kitchen and came back, lying next to me and putting me in his arms because he knew it was all I needed to feel better".

"Wow…" JJ said. "That's just…"

"They don't do men like this anymore…" Tara finished.

"No, no they don't". Garcia nodded.

"Sorry girls… I have mine. And I'm never letting him go…" Emily said smiling looking at her dress. She could barely wait for their ceremony.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

"Are you nervous?" Dave asked at Hotch while they were waiting for Emily in the backyard of their house. The place was all decorated with flowers and little lights, a few white chairs arranged in front of a small altar and a long white carpet replacing the usual red one in the middle. There were tables arranged too, for the small dinner they'd serve. There was a band playing some of their favorite songs and a dancefloor, lightened with flashing lights.

"Not a bit. I can't believe that she actually accepted to marry me again after what I did but I'm happy…" He said with a sheepish grin.

Dave nodded at him and suddenly there was a change in the song and all eyes turned to the end of the aisle. The next few minutes were just a blur to Hotch, focused on the vision walking towards him. She was wearing the most beautiful dress he'd ever seen and the smile on her face was the most bright and glorious. Before he knew she was standing in front of him and whispering a quiet 'hey' and he swore to God he would spend the rest of his days making this woman happy. When he priest told him to recite his vows he took her hands in his and looked right into her eyes, completely oblivious of everything and everyone else.

"I honestly don't know why you're here, giving me another chance, giving yourself to me in front of God, our family and friends, but I'm not going to question your sanity right now…" he started and everyone chuckled. "I'm perfectly aware that I don't deserve you… you are so beautiful, so caring, so sweet and thoughtful and you stole my heart without I even notice. You sneaked your way into my life and embraced me and my demons, my baggage and all my flaws and made me feel like I just had born again. You took my son and made him truly yours without erasing his mother from his life and for that I'll be forever grateful. You brought the light back to my life and when a fatality tried to take it away again you didn't let. You fought tooth and nail to make us work and even when I hurt you and you had every right to leave you stayed. You make me see, every single day in every single thing you do how much you love me, how much even with my flaws I'm capable of making you happy. You don't care for my insecurities. You just brush them away and make me believe in myself again. You made me fall in love with you five years ago and now you made me fall in love with you all over again. This just proves me how much we're made for each other, how much you were sent by God to me. And here, in front of everyone who witnessed everything we've been through I promise you I will spend the rest of my days making you smile, giving you anything you want, filling your wishes, making your dreams come true, because by just being here you made all my dreams come true. I love you, sweetheart. I will always love you".

EPILOGUE

Hotch looked at his backyard through the window of the room and smiled. Everyone was gathered out there, talking and laughing, waiting for the bride. The band was playing and the priest was positioned on the altar, the nervous groom by his side, looking anxiously at the house.

He couldn't believe that twenty-three years had passed already. Running his fingers through his grey hair he thought about all the moments they passed in this place, all the small victories, all the disappointments, all the fights, all the reconciliations, all the celebrations, everything that guided them to this moment.

"Dad...?" He heard her small voice calling from the door and turned. There she was, her beautiful dark locks curled on her shoulders, her hazel eyes sparkling and her smile brightening and warming his heart.

"Oh, my little princess…" He whispered hoarsely, taking a few steps towards her. "You look so beautiful, Liv…"

She smiled at him and threw her arms around his neck in a tight hug. "Thank you, daddy…"

"You look so much like your mother…" He said pulling apart. She chose to wear Emily's dress from their renewal, with just a few adjusts. "You know, when she wore this dress you were right here with us…" He said putting a hand on her stomach. "She was so beautiful and I was so happy… I know Mark is a good man and he loves you very much and I hope he knows he has to make you happy every single day or else I will have to kill him…" He said seriously but the slight tilt of his mouth gave it away.

"I'll tell him…" She chuckled. "You know that even after this, even after I have my own kids, even when I have grey hair just like you I'll always be your little princess, right?"

He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "I know, sweetheart… Are you ready?" He asked handing his hand to her.

"Will you hold me?" She asked.

"Always, my princess. Always…"

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Olivia and Mark had just left for they honeymoon and Hotch took Emily's hand and lead her to the dancefloor. "Can you believe that it's been twenty-three years already since we dance right here on our ceremony?" She whispered to him.

"I was just thinking the same thing…" He whispered back and smiled at her. They swung quietly at the soft melody and smiled at the sight of Jack doing the same thing with his wife. He had gotten married five years ago with a beautiful English teacher named Sarah and they were now expecting their second child. Catherine, their first granddaughter was running through the yard with the other children, giggling and laughing nonstop.

Emily looked at the rest of the guests and family and back at her husband. Even after twenty-eight years together she still loved him and wanted him like the very first day. They had their rough times, they fought, they disagreed with each other but always, always they found their way back to the other. "Aaron?" She whispered.

"Yes, sweetheart?" He said looking down at her.

"You did it…" She said and smiled at his confused face. "You made all my dreams come true…"

He smiled at her and kissed her deeply. "I love you, Emily…" He said pulling apart.

"I love you too, Aaron… Always…"

 **THE END.**


End file.
